In an act of irresponsible adulting I have submitted my official resignation for the next school year to the elementary school to focus on running. The next 6 months I will have an insane schedule as I try to work as much as possible to save up some money. I have been really unhappy at the school this year and I decided to take it as a sign to do something I have been wanting to do for years. I could get hit by bus tomorrow so time to face the fear of the unknown and just do it. I will still teach at the community college, but one job will be a lot more manageable than two jobs.
After missing the mark for the open records at Desert Solstice I was laser focused on a track race in Auburn. SingleTrack Running is putting on a 24, 12, 6 hour race on the Placer High School track. I registered for the race and hoped we would financially figure it out.
Unfortunately, the hamstring issue that developed at Desert Solstice lingered. Hank was a big fan of the treatment plan and loved laying his head on the heating pad while I had it on my hamstring. I was meant to try for the all surface world age group record for 50K at ATY, but decided not to try to save my hamstring.
The hamstring improved enough that I felt I would be able to run fast for 20 miles. On paper the finances looked tight, but manageable. The trip was a go.
Of course as soon as we decided to go and booked a place to stay our finances took a hit every time I turned around. It’s quite possible we will be losing some weight by the end of this month. Rice again anyone?
Why I ever make a plan for what time I want to leave I have no idea. Seriously, it is always an hour later than I plan. Twelve hours in the car is not my idea of a good time. Plus we had to stop fairly often so I could walk a bit because of my hamstring. After we stopped in Santa Clarita I got frustrated with Norm and yelled at him. “I get that nothing is important to you, but this important to me and I don't want to be there at midnight!” He decided to stop speaking to me, which was actually comical because he doesn’t really talk on a car drive anyways. I told him later he has to find a different punishment because that one wasn’t really effective. But the thing is, nothing is really important to him. He’s very laid back, whatever, go with the flow. It’s actually a really great thing about Norm. But when I am stressed about something it can be infuriating. But yes, I’m a bitch. Good thing Norm is so laid back otherwise my bitchiness might not seem so cute.
Saturday morning I wake up to a massive headache. I think it is my allergies, but I don't want to take allergy meds. The race keeps talking about drug testing. Hayley says I only have to worry about drug testing if I am breaking a world open record, but I am still worried. I took allergy meds earlier in the week and I stressed about that. In case you haven't figured it from my past blogs, if I didn't have bad luck I wouldn’t have any luck at all! It would totally be my life to be drug tested and not pass to due to allergy medicine. I tried to read up before about allergy meds and how much you can have in your system and I never figured it out. So I took Advil for my headache and hoped for the best.
We get dressed and take Sinjin to meet his friend El. Sinjin tagged along on this trip so he could see his friend El again. The last time we were here Sinjin wasn’t answering his phone and I called the cops because I was convinced he had been abducted and was being tortured by his friend he had made online. You can read the story on my blog from last summer. Anyways, El is super sweet and not abducting any one.
More grocery shopping, relaxing and a little shake out run. Norm hasn't really been running except to run with Hanky, but he decided to join me today. It was nice to have his company. I showered, we ate dinner and I went to bed early. I felt really tired by 7:30pm and decided to just go ahead and go to sleep since I had an early wake up. I was surprised I slept so well.
And off we go. I started off a little confused about what direction I was suppose to be going, so thank you to the other people in the 6 hour race that kept me from going the wrong way! Pretty quickly there seemed to be a problem. My watch was reading 6:20 pace, but Norm was stop watching me and telling me I was running 6:35 pace (goal pace). When my watch read 6:35 pace Norm was telling me I was running too slow. I’m trained to run 6:35 pace. I know I can run that pace comfortably for the distance I need to cover. My mind is a train wreck. I am trying to keep running 6:20 pace according to my watch, but it feels really hard. By mile 8 or so I tell Norm I am not going to make the 20K record, but the other records are a little slower and I know I can run that pace. Or can I? How do I know what pace I can run? I keep thinking I am running fast enough and Norm keeps telling me I am not running fast enough. There were lots of curse words and a few times I stopped to just try to take in what is happening.
In the end, I missed all of the records and didn't even better any of my age group records from Desert Solstice. When I knew it was a lost cause I stopped on the side of the track and cried a bit. I can't believe I messed this up again. I spent all of this money I don't have because I was sure I could do this. I sent Norm and Sinjin to get breakfast and a warm drink while I kept running. I was trying to decide if I wanted to run for 6 hours. I got to about mile 22 and decided that I was done. I am not trained for 6 hours. I am trained for 20 miles.
The other competitors were so kind. I really appreciate everyone yielding to me because they certainly didn't have to do that. I apologize for the F bombs. Norm told me later that Ann Trason (she was running the 24 hour event) was asking what I was trying to do, because one of the records is her record.
We went to lunch at The Flower Farm. It’s a half a mile from the house. Delicious food and cute gardens. It’s at a winery called Casque Winery. We picked up Sinjin’s friend El and they hung out at the house. I napped on the couch.
Over the course of the afternoon I wondered about why I continue running. At what point do you just acknowledge that you aren’t as good as you want to be and give up. But Norm told me I am not allowed to go back to the Cheder next school year so I might as well keep running.