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Kristina PHAM
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100 mile training comes to an unexpected end

6/25/2017

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​Monday:
I got up to run on Monday and everything hurt. Everything! This is why I don't really take days off. Maybe it’s because I am old or maybe it is just the way my body happens to work, but when I take days off I end up feeling like I have never run before. If I just run a couple or 3 miles super easy, that works better for me. Doing nothing, unless I am recovering from a hard race or injury is not the answer.
 
I ended up almost in tears but I was so frustrated at how much pain I was in. I turned around at 2 miles and headed back home for a total of almost 4 miles. The only good news, if there is any, is that it gave me plenty of time to get weights done.
 
The day did not get better. I am not going to share exactly what happened, but in the afternoon I was made aware of a financial issue that basically wiped me out and has left me unsure about finances for the next few months at least. It is the kind of stress and uncertainty that makes you sick to your stomach and occupies your every thought. I am actually pretty good in a crisis. I tend to cry a lot, but I will sit down and come up with a plan and move forward. Unfortunately, in this instance there is no planning, just uncertainty. And before you start to feel too sorry for me, what happened is all my fault. It wasn’t intentional, but I messed up and this is the consequence. What sucks is that it doesn’t just impact me, but a lot of other people.
 
And the evening did not improve. Otto, our sweet and goofy dog, became very ill again. We gave him some pain pills and hoped for the best, but it only got worse. We sat with him and talked with him but he was declining rapidly. I called everyone who wasn’t home to get home fast. Our poor Otto had to be put to sleep. Even though it was so completely clear it was the best for him, it was still a terrible decision to have to make. We will miss him so much.
 
So much crying today. I knew that there was no way I was not going to get up to run in the morning. I am also feeling pretty down and I hate running when I feel depressed. Stressed, sure. Angry, of course! I do my best running when I am angry. But when I feel depressed I just can’t do it. I hate every minute of it. I hate that I can’t turn off my head.
 
Tuesday:
Got up. Cried a lot. Went to work. Scheduled a day for my students to work on projects because I knew I could not stand up and lecture today.
 
Came home and cried some more with the brief exception of grocery shopping. I am suppose to crew for and pace someone at Western States this weekend and I don’t know how it is going to be possible. Financially I can't afford to spend one single penny more than I absolutely have to spend. But how do you tell someone on Tuesday that they have no crew or pacer for a race that is on Saturday? I tried to find someone else who might want to take my place. That way I could say I can't make it but look at the awesome replacement I found! But that didn’t work out. In the end, we decided that we have to go. We will figure it out, but we can’t not be there.  The rooms are already paid for and we have to eat no matter where we are staying. The gas will be the biggest issue, but luckily the Prius isn’t too bad. Good gas mileage and not expensive to fill it up.
 
I also got an email from RD at High Lonesome. 36 days until the race. They are offering a refund if someone from the waitlist takes your spot. I thought about it for a few hours and then emailed him to let him know that he could offer my spot up to those on the wait list. Yes, I could use every penny I can get at this point, but it’s not just that. Training has not been ideal the last few weeks. I also know that if my stress level stays this high my training will be crappy.  Even if I am running, I am never running my best when I am really stressed out.
 
I had gone to bed early. Lots of crying + 2 glasses of wine = sleepy Kristina. I got up to let our dog Maui out and the new puppy who was sound asleep was able to wake up and shoot out the door in seconds. Norm had to go chase Hank down. (We actually call him Hanky Panky, except Ava who calls him Lance, but he doesn’t know his name any ways. We sometimes just yell out random names to see if we can figure out what his name was before he came to us.) I was telling Ava about the misadventures of Hank/Lance when she asked me to sleep in her room. Otto always slept with Ava. He spent 90 percent of his time hanging out with her in her room.  I think she was really missing him. Her bed is way more comfortable than mine so it wasn’t much of a sacrifice and Norm had Hank to keep him company.
 
Wednesday:
My alarm went off at 4:30am and I turned it off and went back to sleep. Norm told me he came in at 5:20 to wake me up, but I looked like I was sleeping so well that he didn't want to wake me. I actually did sleep pretty well.
 
Took Hank for a walk because he is convinced he must walk first thing in the morning.
 
Came home to get ready for work, cry some more and go to work. The only upside of all of this is I might lose that last 8 pounds that has been so stubborn. I’m usually a stress eater, but not this time.
 
Today is Enzo’s 17th birthday. We did really fun grown up stuff. Go to the bank to take me off his checking account.  I took him shopping to buy food and some other items for his summer of camping.  I kept asking them what food they needed and they just kept saying ramen. I asked if they understand they have to eat breakfast lunch and dinner? I think they spent more money on dog food than human food. They might be a lot thinner at the end of the summer.
 
I made enchiladas for dinner. After that we unloaded Norm’s work stuff from the truck and Enzo and Brandi loaded up the truck for the summer. They are headed to Western States tomorrow. They will drive part of the way, camp and finish driving on Friday.
 
Thursday:
I had set the alarm for 4:30am so I could get in a run and weights before work today. But at 2am Hank decided to puke all over the bed right next to my face. After we got up to clean things up I could not fall asleep. My mind was racing. I just couldn't stop thinking and stressing.   After being awake for an hour and a half, I turned my alarm to 6am and finally fell asleep around 4am.
 
No running for me, but I did get weights done.
 
Enzo and Brandi left for California today. The plan is to drive some place close to Sequoia National Park and camp. They took Enzo’s dog Maui so they can't go into the national park, but they don't want to pay to camp anyways.
 
Sinjin had an appointment at the oral surgeon that I didn't want to reschedule so we weren’t leaving until after that. It was 4pm before we hit the road which meant a 1am arrival time at our hotel. We were super excited to find a pizza place in Blythe that has gluten free and vegan options. We listened to the Lore podcast.
 
Enzo and Brandi called a few times to complain that their camping spot was really hot and they were being attacked by bugs. They had picked a place that was just off the side of a road. When a tow truck pulled in behind them they worried they were being towed, but that fear changed to fear of being murdered. They decided to take turns sleeping while the other person drives. A couple hours later they called to say they were sleeping in a Wal-Mart parking lot the rest of the night. 
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The Alamo Hotel is Los Alamos, CA
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This cute area had a wine bar with swings hung in the trees and a fire pit.
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The rooms are super cute and modern.
​Friday:
I woke up to a phone call from Brandi. When she realized I was sleeping she said she would call me later and hung up. My phone rang again right away. Enzo clearly did not care that I was sleeping. He was calling to tell me that the dog had diarrhea all over the car and when she was wagging her tail she was spreading it, making a bigger mess. Luckily he seemed have a good sense of humor about it, but he did keep saying “Mommy, help me.” Unfortunately (fortunately?) I was 7 hours away and he was on his own.
 
We packed up the car and went to find breakfast. We stopped at a place called Well Bread. Very lovely place. I was sad we were taking our breakfast to go. Ava and I had the only gluten free option. Something called Centennial bread. It was basically bird feed, but soft like bread. That probably doesn’t sound appetizing, but it was really yummy. For $4 a slice it should be! The food was good, but $36 for a croissant, 2 slices of bread and 2 coffees was a bit shocking.
 
Thank God that Lisa was not waiting for us to take her to Olympic Valley for her Western States meeting and packet pickup. Our day was about to get longer and longer. Enzo called to say that the truck had broken down. Luckily this happened right as they were getting close to the house where Aravaipa was working for Western States. We were still hours away so we needed to get the car towed so it would be fixed. Enzo was filming at Western States the next day and needed a car. Norm called the insurance company about having the car towed only to find out that our motor club hadn’t been paid and had lapsed. Now Norm is trying to talk to our insurance agent about the motor club and getting it going again while driving and constantly losing service. We just had to drive until we found someplace to stop where we had service and Norm could finish the call.
 
Motor service up and running meant Enzo could call a tow truck and get the car fixed. I found a place in South Lake Tahoe that had excellent reviews on Yelp and had the car towed there. They got the car all fixed, we paid over the phone with our credit card and the kids were up and running again.
 
During this time, we stopped at Taco Bell to eat. Because it is cheap. Gross, but cheap. I vowed I would never eat there again when I found a piece of metal in my food last summer and no one at the Taco Bell or corporate seemed to find it concerning. Ava and I went in to get food while Norm walked the dog. We ate in the car because it was hot out and we have the dog with us. We finished eating and Norm can’t find the key. We search the whole car. We search where he walked the dog. I make him do the whole, “you stopped the car, what did you do next?” routine.  No key. Finally he says, “maybe I somehow threw it away?” We walk over to the trash can and he Norm says a very bad word. “What? Is it in there?” he says, “No, it’s a new trash bag.” We see the employee emptying another trash can. We walk over and tell her the story. She is none too pleased with this situation. She asks which trash can and I leave her and Norm to the trash digging business. I made a video recounting the day and posted to Facebook, because that is what a good wife does. But he returned victorious! The key was in the trash bag. We have some seriously bad karma and will be returning as cockroaches, I am sure of it!
 
We finally arrive at the house we rented. We took a little time to just enjoy not being in the car before heading to the grocery store to get food for dinner and the next few days. Ava and Brandi will be at the house while Norm and I crew Lisa and then I will pace her in the evening while continues crewing duties. Enzo calls to see if he can come for dinner and stay the night with us. Of course I say yes. Brandi didn’t even eat dinner, she just went to sleep. Norm and I got to work putting together a plan for crewing Lisa. At this point I made a mistake that will screw us up the next day. I tell Norm that the first place we can crew is Robinson Flat, but this is wrong and we won’t realize the mistake until it’s happening. In my defense I had 3 glasses of wine with dinner. Norm works on directions and I get everything ready for crewing. We set the alarm for 2:30am. 4 hours of sleep. Saturday to Sunday is going to be a very long day!
 
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Centennial Bread from Well Bread in Las Alamos
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Kendall Jackson Vineyard
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A deer in the backyard of the house we rented.
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I don't know what these things are, but we were really excited to see them!
​Saturday:
That 2:30am alarm really sucked. And there is no coffee. We typically roll out of bed to the Keurig. We drive to Olympic Valley and meet Lisa in the parking lot. We put her bags in the car, go over a few details and walk with her to check in. I went to the bathroom and she texts that she wants a bagel. No go, all the food was totally gone. And the coffee was empty too. Sigh.
 
We hang out until it’s time for her to head to the start line. The snow amount is crazy! I have been in Squaw the last two summers at this time and never seen this much snow on the mountains. Man I love Olympic Valley! It is just so beautiful. I’m bummed we aren’t spending time here this summer.
 
We start driving to the first aid station with the plan to start for coffee first. Lisa is the most laid back person to crew for, maybe too laid back. The night before we had looked up her previous race times to try to make a guesstimate of her pace for the race. We knew we had time to stop at Starbucks before heading to the first aid station. (The Starbucks closest to Foresthill was a busy place.) I fell asleep on the drive and when I woke up Norm says “I think we passed the exit.” Uhm… was he waiting until we got to LA to ask me about that? Luckily, we did not miss the exit it was coming right up. We got our coffee and chatted for a bit. We also got a text message from Lisa on the course saying that the snow was really bad and she wasn’t sure she would make it. I told her to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and think aid station to aid station.
 
When we crewed for Caroline Boller she had an A and B crew. Side note – if you ever run Western States, it’s best to have an A and B crew if you want crew at every place you can have crew.) Anyways, we know what the road going to the first aid station looks like because we went there when we crewed Caroline. As we are driving to Robinsons Flat we keep saying, this doesn’t look right, this doesn’t look familiar, etc… you get the picture. At Robinson Flat there is a shuttle and there is a line of cars waiting to park to get on the shuttle. For some reason at this point I look at the aid stations and realize we are in the wrong place! We are suppose to go to Duncan Canyon first! We now have to tell the volunteers we need to turn around (I am sure they were annoyed) and drive as fast as possible into traffic on a crazy road that is not really meant for  2 cars. We stop in Foresthill when we get service to check ultralive.net. (Another thing to note about Western States, you will be with out cell service most of the day.) We can see she checked in to the first aid station, but she never left. There is no time out. I start freaking out and sending her messages, knowing she probably doesn’t have service. I decide to check the mens front runner, knowing that he would have moved through several aid stations and see that he has checked in but there are no check out times. I relax a little. Except now we have wasted time checking times! We get back on track for Duncan Canyon, but it’s a long drive to get to the aid station. We are now calculating splits for what if she is running this pace? What if today is some magic day and she runs a stupid fast pace? We finally arrive and race up the hill to the aid station. I was 99% sure we didn’t miss her, but what if we did? We ask about cut off times and she has about an hour to show up.
 
As the time for cut off was approaching the aid station captain called over anyone who had a runner on the course. He explained to us that with 10 minutes left he was going to send us on the course to find our runner and hustle them into the aid station. He explained that he wanted to get our runner out of the aid station. We could run in and out of the aid station, but our runner could not come back into the aid station. And with 10 minutes to go four of us headed up the trail to find our runners. I wish I had brought water with me. It’s really hot out there and I am running up hill. I was also wondering how far I should go before I give up? Every time I would see a runner I would hope it was Lisa. When we had reached the cut off for the aid station another crew member and I turned and headed back to the aid station. When I got there Norm told me that someone who had information had shown up and told him that Lisa had missed the cut off at Red Star. Almost as soon as he finished speaking she walked up behind him. “Are you okay?” I asked. She said yes but her face said no and she dissolved into tears. I gave her a big hug and tried to comfort her. The aid station captain came over to talk with her and ask what had happened. He made sure she had been taken care of at the previous aid stations. He apologized multiple times about the cut off.
 
As we walked to the car Lisa explained that the snow had just been difficult and slowed her down. I know from experience that if you aren’t use to running in the snow it is really difficult to get the hang of quickly. But after the snow, it didn’t get better. The mud was so deep that it made moving difficult. And if you are one of those people that gave Lisa a hard time on Facebook when she said the snow and mud were what ruined her day, go and read Kaci Lickteig Facebook post. And FYI, if someone tells you that they had a rough day and they are devastated, just tell them you are sorry and be nice. If you are going to be a sanctimonious know it all, keep it to yourself.
 
We drove out of the canyon and got to Foresthill where we had to make decision about where to go for food and beer. I asked Lisa if she wanted to go to Foresthill or someplace else? But she just started to cry so I said Norm we just need to get away from this scene. We decided to head back to the house we rented with a stop at Safeway for food, wine and beer. Lisa didn't have a hotel room because she thought she would be running all night so we had a big sleep over at our place. Full of food and alcohol and exhausted from the day we were all in bed at 8:30pm.
 
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Lisa is ready to go!
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Lots of snow at Olympic Village.
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Aid Station at Forest Hill
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Norm was so exhausted from crewing that he slept on the ground next to the futon bed.
​Sunday:
Well it might not have been have best night of sleep. Good thing we were exhausted, that probably helped. Lisa slept on the futon so Norm, Ava and I shared a bed. In order to do this we slept across the bed with our feet hanging off. I slept in the middle so I couldn't really move either way.
 
I waited patiently for Norm to wake up so we could go get coffee, but as soon as he woke up I was hinting that it was time for a Starbucks run. There had been some talk about trying to find a trail to run today, but Lisa didn’t really seem up to it. Her body definitely took a bit of a hit yesterday with all the falling she did in the snow.
 
Enzo and Brandi came home around lunch time and amused us with stories of working at Hardrock. Enzo had an all access crew pass, which some people found confusing because he’s so young. It was interesting to hear their perspective of the race. And we got some inside scoop.
 
We are terribly sorry that Lisa had a bad day, but we had a blast. It is always fun being at Western States!
 
Tomorrow we head home. I haven't run since Monday. With my 100 mile race off the table I am not sure what to do with myself. There is no other race on the calendar until September when I am running Jackrabbit Jubilee. I guess I switch to training for a fast 12-hour race on a flat course.
 
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