​Monday:
On Sunday night I went to bed at 6:30pm really sick. On Monday I woke up really sick. I barely have a voice, I have a cough and chest pain and the worst sore throat ever. 
 
I teach my class and teach two classes for my boss at the community college. This does not help my throat or my voice. In between classes I check on Maui and the kids tell me she isn’t eating or able to get up by herself. I tell them to make an appointment with the vet. They let me know the vet is coming at 3pm.
 
I stop to get a bite to eat before going to the kindergarten. I also get hot tea and it feels so good on my throat that I wish I could just have a steady stream of almost scolding water on my throat. I ate my sandwich and almost immediately have the worst stomach pains. I spend a lot of time sitting in a tiny chair in my classroom curled into a ball and trying not to cry because my stomach hurts so badly. 
 
My boss comes to relieve me early so that I go home for the vet visit. It’s not a surprise that they suggest the best thing is to put Maui down. I knew this. You could see she had lost the spark in her eye the last few days. 
 
Maui was a really good dog. She was always protective of the kids. She was always well behaved. She always happy and fun. She just always brought the kids joy and comfort. Enzo picked her out when he was 3 years old. For a big dog, she has had a nice long life. 
 
I went to bed early again.

Tuesday:
I was up a few times, but basically slept for 12 and a half hours. My throat isn't as sore, but I have no voice. Still have the snot and chest pain and cough. I also now have a headache. And my ankle is still swollen. 
 
I text Charlie about my ankle still being swollen.  He asks if it hurts to run. I have no idea. I am so sick I am barely walking, much less running.
 
Hayley texts me to ask how I am doing. I am okay about Maui. I am panicked about Saturday. Not to whine about money again, but I don’t get to race big races very often. This one happens to be in my backyard and an Aravaipa race. This makes it very affordable. It will also be my only chance to try to win a golden ticket to Western States.  The last two remaining races were lottery and are sold out. Right now it seems like the odds of being 100 percent at race day are not good. I am preparing myself for not running on Saturday. I am hoping for a miracle, but I need to be realistic. I haven’t had wine or gone to yoga since Saturday. This is how you know I am really freaking sick. 
 
Wednesday:
Going from running 10 or more miles a day along with yoga to doing nothing has left me feeling like a hippo.  
 
I didn't sleep great. I was up coughing off and on all night. Happily I had already planned to show a documentary to my Psych class so I didn't have to talk because I still have no voice. 
 
I came home to give running a try and see what happens with my lungs and my ankle. My lungs weren’t great, but it seems like I could run as long as I am not pushing the pace. Of course that isn't really great for racing. But I didn't get to find out how my lungs would hold up because my ankle started hurting about a half mile into the run. It was actually hurting pretty much right away, but not bad. The more intense pain developed about a half mile in.  I kept trying to decide if the pain was bad or if I was imaging it bad because I am stressed about my ankle hurting. It’s still swollen. I turn around and come back home. 
 
I feel like I could probably tape my ankle and take some ibuprofen and run at Black Canyon. But if I am still coughing and have no voice and my chest is hurting, it doesn't seem like a smart idea to race. 
 
Here it is the end of the day Wednesday and I am feeling tired. Still no voice. Still coughing with chest pain. And my ankle hurts just walking. Not bad pain, just feels sore. This morning I cried a little bit in the bathroom at work thinking about missing this race, but I am trying to make peace with the fact that I am not running Black Canyon. I keep thinking, “all this work down the drain.” And I have to remind myself that I wasn't training for just this one race, that I can still use this training for other races, but with no races really on the horizon I don't have anything to shift my focus to.
 
Thursday:
Nothing has changed. I am still coughing all the time and I have no voice. I am not sleeping well because I wake up coughing.
 
Friday:
I might be a smidge better, but not super noticeable. Every now and then I will go without coughing for a bit and think “can I run tomorrow?” But that’s a ridiculous idea. Even if I thought I felt a little better, I am not sure I have the right mindset since I have been trying to prepare myself all week for not running on Saturday. 
 
I don't have to work today. There was a training, but I had already taken the day off so I decide to use the day to rest and hopefully encourage my body to get better already.  
 
Today is a big day at our house because Norm has been sober for 12 years today. I can’t even say how proud I am of him. He’s such an amazing person and I am so lucky to have him as my husband and best friend. If he hadn't taken the steps to change his life before I met him, we never would have met. Like all relationships we have our ups and downs, but truly there isn’t a nicer guy. If you know Norm, you know this is true. Even when we aren’t getting along so well things the relationship is still pretty nice. We just separate a bit and do our thing and try to come to a resolution. It’s never a confrontational or angry situation, just matter of the fact, here where are now situation. Don't get me wrong, we have had a few good fights but I he’s so damn nice I usually feel like I kicked a puppy and apologize. We make him spaghetti and meatballs for dinner because it’s his favorite. 
 
 
Saturday:
Slept in nice and late. I had taken cold medicine on Friday night so I slept pretty well. I got up, listened to a podcast, did some dishes and decided to go for a run. 
 
I leave the house and about a tenth of a mile I get stopped at a light. A homeless guy (I’m assuming) asks me how far I am going to run. “Not too far,” I answer. He just walks on. Maybe he was going to join me, but was looking for a long run? 
 
I get going and I am feeling great. I am running a 8 min/mi pace and I am thinking I was dumb for not racing. And then a half mile in I get a terrible side cramp and have to slow to a 9min/mi pace.  It was like a reverse progression run, I just got slower and slower.  I felt like I was barely moving and my chest hurt a bit, my upper back hurt a bit and I felt like I wasn’t getting much air. I left my house thinking I would run 8 to 10 miles. Once I got going I wanted to turn around at 4 but convinced myself to try for 6 miles. I ran 6 miles, but it wasn’t pretty. I didn't cough much while I was running, but when I stopped there was a lot of coughing. My ankle started hurting a bit at mile 3, but it was never too bad. 
 
I came home and had some lunch and then decided to do weights. I might as well get a weight workout in before I do round 2 of the dishes.
 
I am feeling a bit better this afternoon. I spend that time looking at marathons. I am trying to find a race where I can run attempt a sub 3 marathon. I need a measure of where I am at right now. I see a few possibilities. I zero in on Tobacco Road marathon. I have a friend that lives in Cary, NC and I can fly on Frontier airlines for pretty cheap. I apply for elite entry and cross my fingers.
 
Sunday:
Enjoying another lazy day while I can. I am going back to yoga today and if the people in class are upset by my coughing well… too bad. Not working out is killing me!
 
I was up early enough to get a run in before yoga so I decided to head out. It was about 39 degrees and the canal was pretty much empty. It was just me a few of diehard old guys. I kept it nice and easy and was happy to see that I ran a little faster than yesterday. 
 
I went to yoga and at first it seemed like it was going to be a disaster. I could not stop coughing. And of course today class wasn’t very crowded and everyone was so quiet. But once class started I was coughing a lot less.  I apologized to the people on both sides of me after class and luckily they both were super nice and supportive. I mean, I don't think I am contagious at this point. 
 
I text Charlie and let him know that my ankle was better today. It hurt a little at the start of my run, but just for a short amount of time and then it was fine as long as I run on a path that isn't uneven. He tells me to run every other day. Normally I would find this upsetting but I am teaching all day next week because the Hebrew teacher is out. This means I will be running in the dark, which also means that I will be sticking to the roads. 
 
Monday:
I usually just write for one week, but I thought it might be nice to end on a positive note. I am so excited to report that I have elite entry to the Tobacco Road Marathon!  I am super excited about the race and also super nervous because it’s a month a way. It will be so fun to see Yael. And so scary to run a marathon again!  I let Charlie know that I am registered for this race and we need to get this ankle mended ASAP! 
 
Today is my day off from running so I will go to yoga at noon and come home for a weight workout.  I need to get a ton of work done because I spent all week listening to podcasts and watching Broadchurch. 
 

​Monday:
Took it easy today and ran 6 miles. It was a test run in many ways. I wanted to see how my Achilles is feeling. It was just fine. I wanted to see how my lungs are feeling. They were just fine. And I wanted to test a pair of Salomon S/Lab in the right size. 
 
Everything seems to be coming along really well, except the shoes. I love the Salomon’s but I can get a bit of nerve pain on the button of my right foot from a bunion. I just don't think my feet could handle 60 plus miles on the trail in those shoes. But it still amazes me how light they are and how well they grip. With rain in the forecast the days leading up to the race and race day, I am not comfortable with my road shoes on the trail. I just worry there will be too much slipping.  No traction can make it tricky to run fast. I am trying to figure to how to work a pair of trail shoes into the budget (because I currently do not own a pair).
 
Of course I went to yoga. 

Tuesday:
I decided to put speed work back on the schedule. Not sure how my body would feel I went with a very easy progression run. I was very happy that I made that choice when I got to Granada Park and the water was turned off. I had decided to not carry water that day because I knew I was only running 10 miles.  I did finish my progression run, but I cut a mile off the cool down so I could get home and get some water. Other than being thirsty, I felt good the whole time and I think I have totally gotten rid of the plague. I am usually a no show sock girl, but I loved these Drymax hyper thin crew socks!
 
Unfortunately, Norm seems to have come down with the plague that has been going around our house. 
 
My boss at the community college asks me to sub for him on Wednesday morning. That means I lose my time that I usually run, but the extra money would be nice.
 
Yoga in the afternoon.
 
I have become a bit obsessed with trying to figure out how I can afford to go to the 50K National Road Championships on March 4th. There really isn't a way…maybe I should start playing the lotto. I am in a bit of a cranky mood in the afternoon. For months I have been waiting for February as the light at the end of the tunnel. But since enrollment was down a the college and my schedule got changed around I am making a lot less money than I thought I would be right now. I am not really sure where the light is now. And I am tired of being stressed about money. It’s not the first time I have said this, I love teaching but being an adjunct is just too stressful and financially not a stable plan for living. 
 
 
Wednesday:
I spend all morning at the community college.  I was okay to give up my running time to make a little extra money, but in the end I had to take my youngest to an appointment in the afternoon and I wasn’t able to go to the kindergarten or my tutoring job.  That means I really didn't make any extra money and I lost my running time. Not thrilled about this turn of events.
 
I am still obsessed with trying to figure out how I can afford to go to the 50K National Road Championships on March 4th. There really isn't a way…maybe I should start playing the lotto. 
 
 
Thursday:
I was not feeling great last night and it’s pretty chilly for Phoenix weather so I did not set an alarm and I slept in this morning. I had to make a dog food run before I could start running so I got a pretty late start. I had 15 miles on the schedule. I did not have it in me to run the same routes I always run so I did something a bit different and headed to dreamy draw to run in the preserve over there. It was a smart idea because as soon as I got over there I felt better and even thought about adding in some extra miles just to check out some different routes. My lungs had not been feeling great on this run and I am a little worried about how my day is going to go at Black Canyon. I decided against the extra miles and hoped I was on the right trail to get my back to bathrooms at the mile mark.  Just me or do other people think, “yep, this is the right place, I remember peeing in that wash or behind that bush?” Any way I got to the bathrooms at 10.5 and was a little off on my guess about distance home so I ended up with 16 miles. 
 
Went to yoga in the afternoon. Had a little cry in the parking lot talking to Norm about running and finances. Like I said before, I thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel and that light got moved. Now I feel like the water is coming in my boat faster than I can bail it out.  
 
Friday:
It was a beautiful morning and the trails were so empty that I ended up just getting lost in enjoying the running and the trails in the PMP and ran more than I meant to run. I ended up with 18 miles.  
 
After work I went to pick up my bib for the Phoenix Half Marathon. Originally the plan was to pace Hayley, but she has an injury and isn't running. I was on the fence about running. I kept changing my mind so I figured I might as well pick up my bib and worry about making a decision later. I actually would like to use the race as a speed work out, but I don't really want to get up at 3:30am to get a speed work out in. I’m lazy.
 
By the time I got home I had a headache, it was 4:30pm and there was no food in the house and nobody took the dogs out. At this point I just wanted to drink a lot of wine and go to sleep. But we went and got something to make for dinner. Brandi made dinner for me. My head feels better and I decide to race. 
 
Saturday:
I did not sleep well at all. I actually was awake before my alarm went off so it seemed like I might as well get up and go to the race. The dogs were not amused with having to get up and go to the bathroom at 4am. Norm dropped me off the half marathon start. This is a much better option than taking the buses. But in retrospect, I would not have had him drop me so early. The race said you needed to be there by 5:15am, but that was not true. Lots of people showed up much later. 
 
At 5:45 I took off my warm clothes and turned in my drop bag. I did about 2.5 miles of really slow running to warm up. I got to the start line too soon, and I really should have gone to pee one more time. 
 
Off we go! And I really needed to pee. I tried to just pee on myself but it wasn’t happening.  At mile 2 I ducked behind some bushes and went pee.  I may have lost the pack and some time but I am so happy I stopped to pee. I felt so much better after. 
 
My plan was to run fast until mile 8 and if I felt like I needed to pull back the pace I would.  I wanted to try to run 6:15 pace but I ended up running about 6:25 pace. The good news about this I never really felt like I was running all out. I think I could run faster if I was really racing it. I held pace through mile 8 and dropped a bit for miles 9 and 10. I am not sure why but mile 11 was just a lot slower than I would have wanted. Then I realized that if I could pick it up I might run a PR, but I missed it by a minute.  Overall, though I am happy with the day.
 
In the afternoon Ava came to tell me that our dog Maui isn't doing well. She hadn’t eaten since the morning before and was panting a lot.  We started talking about having a vet come to the house maybe it’s time to put her down. She is 15 years old and she can't see, hear or smell. We gave her some shredded chicken and she scarfed it down. She is a big dog (Rottweiler/black lab mix) and she has lived a long time. I know she is getting to the end of her life, but I am totally willing to buy her all the shredded chicken she wants if I can keep her alive this week and not have to deal with sadness of losing a dog going into a race I have been working so hard to train for. Selfish, I know. I mean I want her live as long as possible is she is happy. But of it's her time, can it just not be this week.
 
It’s national pizza day so we are of course eating pizza.  I went to bed feeling like my chest was bugging me again.

Sunday:
I am just really pleased I feel so good after yesterday. I am not sore at all which I feel like validates the feeling that I was not running full throttle. Unfortunately, I did wake up with a sore ankle. It’s not terrible but enough that I know running on it isn’t a good idea. I also woke up with just a ton of snot in my head. I kept blowing my nose and it just wouldn't stop coming. 
 
I went to yoga and discovered that my ankle was swollen. I have such tiny, twig ankles that it can be hard to tell. I went into my first downward facing dog and it was immediately clear that my left ankle was really swollen. I was really careful during yoga to not do anything that would hurt it. The good news is that very few things made it hurt. That makes me feel like it may heal quickly.  
 
I came home and grabbed my computer and charger, phone, books, food, water and pillows and set myself up in bed to ice my ankle and keep it elevated. I told the kids I am staying off of it as much as possible so they will have to help me out. I also brought hot tea and sore throat drops to bed with me because throat is killing me. Am I getting sick again? I never felt like totally recovered so maybe it’s not that I am sick again, but still sick? This is freaking ridiculous. 

The goal now is to stay patient and calm as I go into the taper week for Black Canyon. This was not the taper I had planned.
  

Monday:
I had 15 miles on the schedule but I left with the attitude of we will see what gets done. I ended up with 11 miles. I felt pretty good, but the real test will be how exhausted I am later in the day. This sickness is kicking my butt.
 
In the afternoon I was having trouble telling if I was just feeling unmotivated or I was feeling tired. I drug myself to yoga, but definitely took it easier than normal. 
 
Side note, I always wonder if I am planking correctly? And I hate all this bow pose shit because I never feel it in my abs, just my legs. I either have seriously weak abs (a good possibility) or I am not doing it correctly. 
 
I had asked my friend Nick to pace me at Black Canyon. We ended up running a lot of miles together last year and I instantly liked him. He had told me he would let me know because he was worried about his fitness. After a long run over the weekend he decided that he was not in good enough shape to commit to pacing me. So now I am trying to figure out who is next on the list. Nick is on notice to get his ass back in shape for future pacing responsibilities. 
 
Tuesday:
I slept in later than I should. Normally this is my speed work day, but my chest is a bit tight and there is a lot of gunk just sitting there. I woke feeling like I just needed to cough a lot of stuff up, but nothing was happening. I left the house and decided that although my legs felt good, my chest was definitely not going to let me do any fast running so I headed onto the trails and will move speed work to later in the week. Again, 15 miles was on the schedule and I planned to get it all done, but after stopping at 6.5 miles I had a terrible coughing fit. I had cough drops with me but was a bit nervous about trying to suck on a cough drop and run. I really don't want to die choking on a cough drop on the trails. I also realized that my watch was about to die and my pack is rubbing my chest raw (this usually takes a lot more than 6 miles). At this point I figured the universe is trying to tell me something and I head home. And note to self: start checking when you put your watch on the charger that it is indeed charging. 
 
This did give me the opportunity to get a 40 minute session of weights ad cardio done. I will be sorry tomorrow.
 
I also find out that number 2 on my list of pacers isn’t available. I am really trying to not fall into panic mood right now. I lost days to training due to being sick and I am still not training at 100 percent. I have no pacer and I am not sure who I should ask. Norm and I have a discussion about whether I should just run it alone without a pacer. I don't know. Maybe? I know what I need in a pacer and if I can’t find that then maybe I am better off just going at it alone. But I also think it would be really valuable to have someone there for those last 30 something miles to remind me what is at stake and to help me push through the tough miles. It’s a lot easier to feel sorry for yourself when you are running alone. 
 
Yoga in the afternoon. Brandi is back at yoga with me. Yay! Let’s face it all work outs are more fun with a friend. Unfortunately she has to meet me there because I don’t think I have time to make it home, change and back to yoga. I am a little sad to miss out on all our girl chat time in the car. 
 
Wednesday:
Today is an easy day. I am feeling so tired today. I am assuming it is the sickness that is still at work. I embrace the easy day and run 11 slow miles on the canal. I spend much of the time thinking over racing Mad City 100K. It’s been on my list for a number of years now, Maybe this is the year to head out there? I am headed back home and see that 7th Street is shut down and traffic is being rerouted. I later find out there was an officer involved shooting here. Yikes! 
 
It’s a quick turn around to shower, eat and get out the door to work. I am feeling like I need a nap. I am not tutoring this afternoon so I was looking forward to going to yoga, but I end up with a terrible headache in the afternoon. The kind that doesn't go away with medication. I know this headache. This is the your period is coming headache. So I skip yoga and plan to go to bed as soon as possible. 
 
Since I am not feeling good, seeing a box from Drymax socks is super fun! It’s such a big box! I can’t believe all the socks. The teenagers are pawing through my socks and I tell them I am going to have my name embroidered on all of them so that they can’t steal my socks. I usually just buy the same style sock all the time so I am super excited to try all the different socks.  I previously had a favorite brand of socks but when I was training for the Sky Running Series in 2017 my toes where constantly busting out the front of my sock. Mark Cosmas told me to try Drymax and I have never looked back. They are my favorite socks. I never get blisters and it took 2 years for the socks to start to fall apart. I was told by the people at Drymax the socks should last for more than 2 years. That is amazing! So if you are looking for a better sock, try Drymax. I can't say thank you enough to the nice people at Drymax!

​Thursday:
I am still not feeling 100 percent but I was able to get 15 miles done without too much trouble. I pretty much ran circles in my backyard so I would never be too far from home in case things went bad. The miles went by quickly. It felt easy to get 15 miles done. I really want to run Elephant Mountain 50K, but I know it’s a bad decision. 
 
Friday:
I decided to try some speed work today. I figured if my chest said no thank you I would just quit and take it easy. I decided to run half mile fast half mile easy, which is my go to “easy” speed work because that half mile rest is nice and long. I did a 4 mile warm up and found myself struggling to run a 6:40 pace. I assumed it was because my chest was full of gunk. The wind might have been the issue. Once I turned and was no longer running into the wind I was able to run 6:00 to 6:15 pace and it didn't feel difficult. This made me really happy! 
 
In the afternoon I was regretting the speed work. My chest hurt just sitting and doing nothing. This is concerning.
 
Brandi and I made a mad rush to yoga. We have decided we don't care if it means rushing and maybe being a bit late, we would rather ride together and have the time together. I kept it very easy in class. 
 
Saturday:
Brandi really wanted to go to yoga today so this made it easier to talk myself out of running Elephant Mountain. It’s good that I am not running. Even thought it would be a training run, if I had a bad day it would make going into Black Canyon mentally tough. Even knowing I have been really sick, I would start to doubt myself. 
 
It was a perfect day for running! It made it easier to run all the miles because it was so amazing. It was cloudy and the temps stayed at about 58 degrees for my whole run.  I did my favorite hilly road mixed with trail route. Ran on some seldom used trails that don't get much use. I use the love the purple flowers that are all over the trail, but I have recently learned that they cause a reaction like poison ivy in some people. I did a lot of very careful stepping to avoid them. I have never been stressed about these flowers and now I am having anxiety. Ignorance truly is bliss! 
 
I ran into Albert Shank and we ran together for a few minutes, but he was headed off to run more hills and I was headed the opposite way back home. 
 
I got home and had an hour to get ready to leave for yoga. I don't usually go to yoga on Saturday, but Brandi is just starting back and wanted to go. We tried a new yoga instructor. She was a nice person, but I am not sure it’s the class for me. 
 
The rest of the day was spent running errands, doing dishes, and answering emails. The good news is I didn't feel tired. I ran 19 miles, went to yoga and never felt like I needed a nap. This is good!
 
My plan was to try a new pair of Drymax socks every day, but I found a new favorite and keep going back to those. The lite trail running sock actually has amazing padding on the bottom of the foot. They are called the Lite Trail Tollefson.  I do not like a lot of cushion in my shoe. And I run in road shoe, even on the trail.  These socks give me extra padding needed to make those rocky trails feel better while I still feel like I am running in a flat shoe.

Sunday:
Brandi and I went to yoga in the morning. Holy crap that class was hard! I am not sure why harmony was tying to kill us today. We have decided that the better her mood, the harder the class. 
 
I decided against running because the last two days my Achilles in my right leg was a little off. No pain, but I could feel it. On Thursday I thought maybe it was just from the speed work, but half way through my run yesterday I started to feel it again. I drove me a bit nuts to not run, but I wanted to rest it in an effort to try to keep it from becoming something.
 
There Is a dog at the Sedona Humane Society that I can't stop thinking about.  I originally saw him on a post from the Maricopa Humane Society. A Great Dane/Cattle Dog mix, he is so cute! He is 8 years old and I am a sucker for an older dog. But I didn't really think much about it after showing my family his picture and talking about how cute he is. A few weeks later I see him pop up on my instagram feed at the Humane Society in Sedona. That is where I got Pasta about a year ago. We always joke that the best dogs come from Sedona because Pasta is such a good dog.  I can't stop thinking about this dog and spent most of my run yesterday thinking about him. I came home and told the kids that I couldn't stop thinking about the dog but I just didn't have the extra money for adoption fees right now. We pull up his picture and see that his adoption fee has been sponsored. It’s a sign! I decided I am going to Sedona on Sunday to get this dog. I tossed and turned all night on Saturday because I wanted to make the right decision. How do you know if you are a dog hoarder? Norm would never tell me no, but I don't think he is exactly on board. The younger kids who have to help take of dogs during the day are definitely not fans of this plan. And to be honest, I am not sure Pasta wants a friend. I tell myself she does, but I think she likes being my only dog. Yes, we have lots of dogs but she is my dedicated dog. Everyone has dogs that belong to them but we help each other caring for all of them. 
 
To keep myself from feeling sad about the dog and feeling anxious about not running, I clean house. It desperately needed it and I felt better after getting it done.  So I ended the week with 80 miles. Not where I wanted to be, but not too bad considering how sick I have been. 

This is going to sound odd, but I listened to a podcast solely for entertainment and find it to be really helpful for thinking about goals and reaching those goals. I love Conan O’Brien, but I love Adam Sandler even more. So I listened to Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend with Adam Sandler and in the first part he talks about how he had all this confidence because he just didn't know better. It was just really interesting to hear his approach to his career and view of himself.  And then the rest of the interview of was just super funny. 
 
Monday:
Since I had the day off at the community college I was able to sleep in a bit before heading out for my run. Which was good for many reasons. For one thing, I am sleeping like shit so I am exhausted. Also, when I wake up for the millionth time I am starving hungry. I also have a sore throat so I eat some food and have some tea with honey. I really can’t afford to get sick right now. It’s not a good time training wise so this needs to go away fast. And even though I know what the studies say about vitamin C if you are already sick (in a nutshell, too late) I am doing all the vitamin C I can find.
 
I don't normally eat before a run if I am running first thing, Usually just a cup of coffee and then I am out the door. But I woke up hungry so I had a granola bar with my coffee. I was afraid if I didn't I would never make I through 15 miles. 
 
Trying to take it easy today to let my legs have another day to recover. Here’s a tip, if you get lost in a neighborhood it is easy to get all your miles done. I mixed it up with some easy hills in a neighborhood on road and some trail. I got totally lost trying to find the pedestrian bridge over the 51 into Dreamy Draw, but that worked in my favor. 
 
I head to the kindergarten to find I have 2 students and the Jewish studies teacher is running late. So I spend half an hour waiting on her and the other hour and a half playing Lego’s and watching the clock tick in an excruciatingly slow manner. 
 
I meet Hayley at Echo coffee shop after work so we can catch up and talk about my racing and training schedule. She’s a good person to bounce ideas of off. I ate a brownie that I really should not have eaten, but again, starving. 
 
I left Hayley and went to yoga. When I got home at 7:30 Norm was asleep, 2 kids were gone and 2 were doing whatever they do. Pasta waited patiently for me to eat dinner and answer emails so we could go to bed. I had two huge plates of food and then a third smaller plate so I wouldn’t wake up hungry in the middle of the night.
 
Tuesday:
Why am I not sleeping well? Like I am awake several times a night. It’s really getting on my nerves. Despite not sleeping well, I am awake at 5:30am. I toss and turn and get up at 6am. I have coffee and a granola bar and hope that it won’t be a problem during a speed work. 
 
What I really should have been worried about was the wind. Why is it always gale force winds on speed work days? So annoying.  I purposely run into the wind as much as possible for my warm up to avoid it on the speed part as much as possible. I did a 3 mile warm up and then half a mile at about 6:20 to 6:30 pace with a half mile easy (meaning around 8 min pace or better). I was happy so happy to finish that last speed work half mile into the wind. I very much enjoyed my 3 mile cool down. 
 
I have been trying to get weights back into the rotation, but time is hard to find. I have been getting it in about once a week. I really want to get it done twice a week. I took a little time to get some work done and start some laundry before a 35 minute weight session. I should have worked a little harder. Next time.  
 
Went to yoga after work. Driving there I listened to a podcast with David Goggins. The interviewer read the first sentence from his book and I was hooked. So yoga class is just going along and all of the sudden the instructor asks if any one know who David Goggins is and I was a little bit overly excited to announce to everyone that I did. She later told me she almost finished it one night. I am going to add it to the stack of books that I never have time to read. You should definitely recommend it.
 
My youngest is really sick. I tried to get a doctor’s appointment but because we haven't been there in a few years it would be considered a new patient and they wont see him until next week. Never mind that he says he can’t breath very well. So I grab a fast bite at home and we head to Phoenix’s Children’s urgent care. Speaking of sick, I feel like whatever I have is moving into my chest and I am starting to feel a bit panicky. 
 
Wednesday:
Yep, definitely sick.  Now the goal is to try to keep this from becoming the plague that my child currently has. A head cold is one thing, but if this moves into my chest then training becomes really difficult. Luckily it was an easy day and so I took it very easy. I stayed mostly on roads. When I get sick I always feel like I don't trust myself on trails. I don't know why. Maybe my balance is off or maybe I am kinda dragging my feet because I don't feel good. Whatever the reason, I always feel like a bad fall is imminent when I am sick so I avoid the trails. I did run hilly roads because I wanted to get some climbing in. I was almost finished and running through what I consider a pretty nice neighborhood when I encountered an older lady out getting her mail. As I passed she said, “you’re brave.” I just chuckled, but I was confused. What did she mean? I was brave to run? I was brave to run in her neighborhood? It’s a decent neighborhood. Did she think my shorts were too short for a woman my age and was passing judgment? I guess I’ll never know. I mean I could knock on her door and ask, but that seems weird. It’s weird, right? 
 
No yoga today because I tutor on Wednesday afternoons. I can’t say names for privacy reasons, but this kid is one of my most favorite students ever and I love working with him. It’s always a lot of fun. 
 
I got home and made enchiladas. I also informed my family that this was the last meal I would be preparing until after Black Canyon. I am just going to buy a bunch of food and people can make what they want. I am officially in the business of training and resting and that is pretty much it. I even told my college class this morning to not expect a lot of me for the next 3 weeks. Luckily, they were very understanding and excited to talk about my racing and training. A lot of my class revolves around ultra running, movies, podcasts, articles, so they learn a lot about ultra running.
 
Norm is registered for the 88K at Whiskey Basin and despite me giving him a very simple and easy plan he is not running at all. I fear his performance is going to reflect poorly on me.
 
I ate dinner, took cold medicine and went to bed.

Thursday:
I love cold medicine! Not really, it makes me feel like shit but I slept like a log! At 7am I was still sleeping and Norm came in to ask how I felt. I am thinking in my head, did this asshole just come in here and wake me up to ask me how I am feeling? But he followed up with I am about to do dishes and make some noise. I sleep in a room that is off the kitchen so he was trying to be nice. He also makes the most noise of anyone I have ever met when he is washing dishes. Even when I am not sleeping I have to move far away because the noise makes my nervous system hurt. He also breaks the most dishes of anyone washing dishes that I have ever known. I feel like there is a correlation here. 
 
I texted Charlie to discus my plan to keep my running volume the same while reducing intensity while I fight this cold, but he didn't respond before I finished my coffee so I set out on 13 very easy miles on the canal. I came to home to see that Charlie thinks I should rest for the duration of the week. Yeah, I don't think so buddy. I was going to skip yoga, but I started feeling really guilty about it. I am feeling better this afternoon. A little tired, but not as sick symptom wise. I know there is a balance between knowing when to keep training and knowing when to rest and I am not ready to rest yet. But I will take it easy at yoga. Probably. 
 
Friday:
I went for a short 6 mile run on the trails to test out some shoes. I had a pair of Salomon S labs to try out. Just picking them up I was shocked by how light they were. They are definitely a trail racing flat. It reminded me of putting on racing flats back when I ran roads all the time. The pair I had were too big so I put on a pair of Norm’s super thick socks and it worked okay, but I need to try a smaller size. 
 
I felt okay on my run but not great. I was feeling a little tired after, but needed to get grocery shopping done. I did my Costco and Target run and got home in time to eat lunch and change clothes for work.
 
I thought I might get a second run done, but decided to listen to my body and not run. I struggle with I need to be training because Black Canyon is so close and I need to rest because Black Canyon is so close.
 
I only have 4 more months of teaching. Norm and I had a discussion about what to do when this school year is over. I tell Norm that over the last couple months while I have made running the priority I have been happier than I have been in a long time. Norm says that we need make sure that I can continue to make running the priority. The problem with that is we are struggling financially and that can't continue or soon we will be homeless. It wasn’t intentional to work a few hours a day, it was just how it worked out. While it’s great for my running, it is not great for my bank account. We talked about my options for next school year. I am still not sure what I am going to do. It's a conversation i have probably related in this blog a million times. 

​Saturday:
I had really wanted to run a marathon today, but thank G-d that didn't;t work out financially because there is no way I could run a marathon today and be happy. The goal was tp try to run a sub 3 marathon and see where I am at fitness wise. That will have to wait until after Black Canyon. 

So instead the plan was to run 30 miles in the morning and 10 in the afternoon. I was awake in the middle of the night with a coughing fit and then had some trouble falling back asleep. But I still got 10 hours of sleep. That’s 3 nights in a row.  When I finally got up I had coffee and then headed out with Norm for a short run. 
 
Norm signed up for Whiskey Basin 88K so he really needs to start training. I mean that’s just my opinion.  We were going to run 6 miles, but made it 5.5 miles before Norm started to have knee pain and we had to walk home. If he doesn't stretch he gets terrible IT band problems, but he won’t stretch so he ends up with terrible knee problems. 
 
Again, I thought I might run in the afternoon. I did a little work, ate lunch and took a nap. Even after I woke up I just felt tired. I lay around for a bit. I decided to skip the afternoon run. Maybe if I rest today I can still get a long run done tomorrow? I am at 62 miles for the week right now, which isn't terrible. Not near my goal, but not terrible. So I skip running and just work on lessons plans for next week. 
 

​Sunday:
Slept in again. I am going to miss this! It’s the birthday of my favorite yoga instructor, harmony (she likes it spelled with a lower case h). I took Brandi with me today. We had bought a gift for harmony the night before (a light up unicorn journal). 
 
Class was packed! We are guessing around 70 people. We kept scooting to make room for more people. It was basically a mat to mat situation. But it was an amazing class! I know this sounds like a very “yoga person” thing to say, but the energy in that room was amazing. You could just feel how happy everyone was and the positive vibes of the room were amazing. It felt like everyone was working hard, but also really having a good time. I wish every class were like that. 
 
Brandi use to go to yoga with me all the time, back when I could afford 2 ​memberships. After class she said, “I know I keep saying that I miss yoga, but now that I went I really miss yoga. I feel so much happier.” I totally get it. So now I am on a mission to figure out how to get her back in class. I mean, I like potatoes. 
 
I felt really good in class and after. I was thinking I could definitely run this afternoon. But by about 1pm I was starting to feel tired and like I needed a nap. I know the going thought is when you think you are recovered, wait one more day. So I will wait one more day. But I am not happy about it. Except, I am kinda happy to take a nap.

I am super happy to announce that I am on the Aravaipa Racing Team again this year! It is such an honor to run for Aravaipa. I love hearing stories from people when I travel about how they love the races and the youtube videos. And I love Aravaipa races! Like a lot of people, it's where I did my first trail run and fell in love with trail running. 

Monday:
Back to the community college! I actually really missed teaching there. I love teaching psychology and I am super happy to be back in the classroom.  Since I teach at 8am and it’s pitch black outside until about 7am, I am running after I teach. 
 
I was home by 9:30. Chatted with the kids, changed clothes and headed out for a 9 mile run. Holy crap my legs are feeling tired. I am also getting really sick of running in circles in the same places. It's convenient to run the trails right behind my house, but I could use a change. The problem is I am short on time and adding drive time isn't usually an option. I could go straight from work, but with all of the break ins at trailheads I get nervous about having my purse and backpack with my computer in the car. I always hide them in my grocery shopping bags, but I still don't like the risk. 
 
I really did not want to run 9 miles and thought about cutting short, but I reminded myself to make my thoughts, words and actions align. I am also thankful to the person who posted on twitter last week that the right amount of clothing for a run in n-the last piece you added in a panic. It was cloudy and cold when I left and I was sorry I was in short sleeve top, but a few miles in the sun came out and it was sports bra weather.  
 
I came home, showered, ate and headed to work at the kindergarten. I am listening to a podcast called The End of the World with Josh Clark. The episode today was about the Fermi Paradox. After reading The Sixth Extinction last summer I am super fascinated by this idea that we are headed to extinction and in the end will be the ones responsible for our own extinction. 
 
Drive home, get some work done and leave again for yoga. 
 
Tuesday:
Speed work day. My legs are feeling tired and I am not looking forward to this. Plus, I am starting out running into the wind. After a 3 mile warm up I ran 2.5 miles (times 3) at what I wanted to be around 6:40 or better with a half-mile easy in between. I was only hitting about 6:50 pace but felt like I was sprinting running into the wind.  Luckily I got to turn and then 6:35 pace felt like a stroll in the park. 
 
I skipped morning yoga to color my hair. Norm says he can't see the gray, but he is also pretty blind. To me they are constantly screaming at me. It kinda makes me sad because I really like my natural hair but I am not going gray. Good for everyone who is embracing it, but I have always said I will go to my grave with blonde hair. 
 
My boss stopped me to ask how conversion was going. So maybe you are also wondering. I have stopped going to classes at the reform synagogue. I think the Rabbi there was right. I wouldn't feel right about a reform conversion. As my boss said “once you know you can't un know”. I am not saying anything bad about any one who is reform. I love the Rabbi there and hope to continue a relationship there with her. So for now, I will continue to practice and continue to study and maybe I will never convert, but I know I have a home at Chabad and for now that is enough.
 
I did go to afternoon yoga. 
 
Wednesday:
Today is a recovery day so I am meant to run easy. Luckily my legs are so freaking dead that it's pretty easy to do this. 9.5 miles relaxed and easy.
                                                        
Thursday:
I am running Coldwater Rumble as a training run this weekend so I dropped hill repeats from the work out today.  I ran 12 miles. My legs felt so much better! I guess taking those easy days easy really does work! 
 
I have had a $50 gift card to Poor Little Rich Girl since November. I decided to go buy some yoga clothes. It kinds grosses me out to buy someone’s used yoga pants, but I only have two pairs of yoga pants and I go to yoga 5 to 6 days a week. I also do not have $100 for yoga pants. Used yoga pants are $18. It was buy three get one free so I got three pairs of pants and yoga tank for $4 after using my gift card. 
 
Wore my new yoga pants to yoga in the afternoon.
 
Friday:
I woke up at 2am with a terrible stomachache and ended up be pretty sick. I had trouble going back to sleep after that. Ugh! This is not what I wanted right before Coldwater Rumble. After tossing and turning for almost an hour I turned on a podcast about roundabouts because I felt certain that would put me right to sleep. I was right.
 
Luckily I was able to sleep in.
 
I got up and had some coffee and breakfast. My stomach was still feeling a little off. After some grocery shopping I went for a short run just to keep everything loose. I really didn't want to have to force myself to run on a Friday after work. I ended up getting home later than I wanted because I was trying to find some Skratch. I never did find any. Luckily Enzo agreed to go by REI and pick some up for me.  I get home and realize I forgot to wash running clothes and I need them clean for tomorrow morning. I ate dinner early and packed my bag for the morning. 
 
 
Saturday:
Coldwater Rumble 52 mile is on the schedule for today. This is a chance to practice for Black Canyon 100K. I woke up feeling dehydrated, which didn't seem optimal. I had my coffee and got ready to leave. It always seems like no matter what I eat for breakfast it sits like a log in my stomach. I really wanted toast, but we have no food in the house so I settled on a cheese quesadilla. (That shopping trip on Friday was things like dog food, laundry detergent, and other household crap.) The quesadilla was not gluten or dairy free but I felt like I could get it down. Brandi was nice enough to drive me to the race. I was so nervous in the car. I kept telling myself that it was just a training run and to calm down. It wasn’t working. Brandi drops me off and I find Norm to tape my watch on. Yes, my watchband is still broken. If I haven't mentioned it, we are barely getting by so watch bands are not in the budget. Hopefully my classes at the college will fill up (enrollment is down 17%) and we can get on stable financial footing.
 
Time to start and everyone is standing so far behind the start line. I push my way up right before the count down. I know we are headed straight to a climb and I just want to get as far out front as possible so as not to get stuck in the conga line. A couple guys pass me as we start the climb. I step aside and let a guy pass me on the downhill. He tells me he is a terrible downhill runner and I assure him that title goes to me. I end running right behind him for a while. I ask if I am bothering him. He says no. I tell him that if I pass I will be running faster than I want. He says he is happy to have company and we chat for a bit. He asks my goal time and I say 8 hours while I worry he will judge me and think I am crazy. He doesn’t. Later we are talking about upcoming races. When I tell him I am running Black Canyon he asks if I am going for a golden ticket. I tell him that isn’t the plan. I just want a good day. He tells me if I can run 8 hours today he will be putting money on me getting a golden ticket. Then we talk a bit about running 100 mile races and Western States. We hit the flat section on the back half of the course and I lose him. The sand isn't slowing me down. Norm says he thinks it’s because I run more on my mid foot that on my toes. 
 
At about mile 17 my watch dies. I must not have had it on the charger correctly. I usually double check it and for whatever reason I didn't check it this time. I try to not let this throw me off. I can still the see the time and I know at what time I should be hitting aid stations. Ad I am hitting the aid stations exactly on time. The first 2 loops went mostly well. After leaving Pederson AS I knew I was going to run out of water and I did. And even though I knew it was the wrong thing to do I guzzled water at the next aid station. This caused my stomach to be less than happy. Now my stomach hurts, but I am also so thirsty that I keep drinking. I head out on the final 12 miles and I am really not thrilled about this. I just want to be done. My watch totally dies and now I can't see the time either. I also had told myself no walking until I got to the final 12 mile loop. Looking back I regret the walking, but oh well. I don't normally look at maps. I prefer to not know, but I had looked at the map and now I am confused even though I followed the signs. It doesn't seem right. I start walking thinking that I have messed up and ruined my race, but I don't know how.  Why do I walk when I think I am lost? I always know I shouldn’t but I still do. Luckily I run into Becky and Pete and we chat and they tell me I am going the right way. Thank Gd! They saved my race. 
 
At the last aid station I know I have 4 miles but with no watch I have no way to count it down. I had put my headphones in for this loop so I decided that 3 songs is a mile. It must have been shorter than 3 songs because I think I have a mile and a half left but all of sudden I can see the road. I yell, “Are you fucking kidding me?” to no one. And have never run so fast down a hill and I pushed it hard on the road to finish as fast as possible. 
 
8 hours and 21 minutes! I know it was my goal, but I still kinda can't believe I did it. It’s a 2 hour and 24 minute PR for the 50-mile distance. I mean my 50-mile races have all been a disaster so it's about time. I don't think I will be making these big PR’s at this distance any more. I feel like I lost about 10 minutes talking to people who were asking me questions and waiting for horses to pass me. I was in and out of aid stations in 2 minutes or less. . A huge thanks to all the aid station volunteers! They could all tell I was on a mission and they were all hands on deck getting me in and out of aid stations. It was noticed and appreciated. As for that last 12 miles, maybe I should have walked less, but I’m happy. After the race Norm told someone that I was ecstatic. I corrected him and said, “I'm happy. I would have been ecstatic if I had finished in 8 hours.” 
 
The mental training I mentioned from the Outside podcast last week was a huge part of my day and my success. I just kept reminding myself to stay in the moment. Even if things were not so great, I just acknowledged it and told myself moments change so do what you need in this moment and don't worry about future moments. I had good moments and I had bad moments and I when things were bad I told myself to back off a bit and when I felt in the groove I told myself to enjoy that moment and push the pace. Maybe it was good that I never knew my pace? 

I made a change to my drink strategy and started with Skratch instead of waiting to add it later in the race. I went through 3 singles over the course of the race. I alternated with water and Skratch. I ate pb&j sandwiches at the aid stations. It worked well so this will be the strategy at Black Canyon. 
 
I saw my new friend finish his race. He ended up being first male in a little over 9 hours. I went over to congratulate him. He asked about my time and when I told him he said, “you have a big race coming up this summer.” Very kind of him, but my goal for Black Canyon is still to have a good day. I can finish in the top 5 women I would be happy. I would like to finish in 10 hours. I know it's aggressive and maybe out of reach, but I might as well try. 
 
I always remember the song playing when I do really well in a race. It was Uproar by Lil Wayne this time.

Sunday:
I was so looking forward to sleeping in! I should have known better. I slept like crap. I was up so many times during the night. This is typical post race. I always think I will sleep like a log and I never do. By 5:30am I couldn't go back to sleep. I am out of coffee and there is still no food in the house so I treated myself to coffee and a bagel from Starbucks. I could have just gone to the store but I was wearing my robe and house shoes and did not want to put on actual clothes. 
 
I won’t be doing any running today. I finished out my week with 100 miles. I did go to yoga thinking that I would have to take it easy, but nope, I was my regular yoga self.  The only thing sore is the bottom of my feet. I have been rolling them with a golf ball.
 
Did some grocery shopping, which everyone appreciated and cleaned up a little around the house. 
 
A huge thank you to everyone who keeps me running! Mark Cosmas at iRun for keeping me in shoes. Not the house shoes, but actual running shoes. Charlie Boeynik at Cadence Physical Therapy for dealing with my many text message questions. Rabbit for the amazing running clothes they supply for the racing team. Madison Improvement Club for all their love and support.

I have come to the realization that this blog is lacking in pictures when I am not traveling or racing so I will try to think of something to take a picture of, but I don't carry my phone on training runs so...

Monday:
I am looking down the barrel of Black Canyon 100K and a little concerned about my climbing. Today the goal was no stopping. Meaning, don't stop at the top of a climb to catch your breath. It was a success. The only time I stopped was to check my mileage on my watch and make a plan for how I wanted to finish, but that was on a flat section of trail. 
 
I had 12 miles on the schedule but I felt really good so I ran 14 miles. I would have run more except I was getting hungry and didn't bring any food with me.
 
The other thing I practiced was staying in the moment. Next week, I go back to working at the college and a few weeks after that I will start teaching a homeschooled student 3 mornings a week. This is on top of teaching kindergarten in the afternoon. I am really stressed about how I will work running into the schedule. I kept drifting to “why am I even doing this? I have no idea how I will keep training.” 
 
Last weekend, I listened to this podcast on Outside online with Dr. Micahel Gervais about mental mastery. It was like he was checking all the boxes of what is wrong with me as a competitive athlete. I have listened to it everyday since and even taken notes. One thing that really resonated with me was this idea of thoughts and actions and words all aligning. Again and again I say I am going to make running the priority except I don't. And for good reason, work or kids or a filthy house. The other thing I am working on right now is this idea of staying in the present moment. I think I am better at it during training than racing. Which would explain why my training goes so well and my racing doesn't reflect that. I am trying to make a real conscious effort to practice this with the hope that I will find it easier to do during a race.
 
 
Tuesday:
Easy morning on the trail. Ran a slow 6 miles before going to yoga. I am running a track workout with a group girls this afternoon. I am actually kinda excited about this. I am not usually excited about the track so not sure why.
 
We are meeting at Scottsdale Community College but I am there about an hour early because it’s a quick drive from my job. I change clothes and realize that I can get my track work out done before the other arrive. This would let me actually run with them. So that’s what I did. The goal was just to keep the pace under 6 min. Success! When Hayley and the rest of the Oiselle group showed up I did their warm up run with them. I paced them through their workout, although they didn't need me. 
 
I was feeling good. I was feeling happy. I love when a workout goes well. It was fun to work out with other people for a change. Then I checked my email. I was scheduled to teach 3 classes at the community college and that paycheck has been the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Unfortunately, my boss s taking 2 of my classes because his classes didn't fill up this semester and as residential faculty he has to teach a certain amount of classes. It’s the first time this has happened and it’s not anyone’s fault but it still sent me spiraling. Teaching one class is not going to be  enough money. 
 
What is the universe trying to tell me? I should give up teaching? I should give up running? 
 
 
Wednesday:
I normally suck at easy recovery day runs, but there was no problem today. I rocked that easy run! My legs were definitely feeling tired after that track work out the night before. 
 
 
Thursday:
Hill repeats today. It is almost exactly 3 miles form my house to Cortez Hill. I head over there but my stomach starts feeling a bit off. I end up having to stop and dig a hole with a rock to take care of my business. Hill repeats are hard enough without having to clench the whole time. After the first one it seemed like doing three more was an impossible task! But I got it done. Close to my house a small kid was waiting with his mom for the circulator bus. He put out his hand to give me a high five. How does that not make you smile? 
 
I only have 5 kids in my kindergarten and 4 of them were absent today. The one student who was there leaves about 15 minutes early. This meant I had time to run by Sprouts before going to hot yoga. It’s the small things.
 
Friday:
I changed up my running schedule by my favorite yoga teacher is subbing this morning. I did a very slow and relaxed easy 6 miles. I wanted to be sure to be back in time to eat a little something and digest it before class at 9:30am. Luckily with it staying light later I can get in a second run this afternoon. 
 
Well… no 2ndrun this afternoon. I came home, made a cup of coffee and wanted to take care of a couple things on my to do list before heading out on my run so I could get rid of the stress. Two hours later and well into dark I am still on the phone trying to resolve the issue. But a big round of applause please, because I stayed calm and did not use the F word one single time. I will say that Directv and AT&T are on my shit list at the moment. 
 
Saturday:
Long run morning. I headed out on my favorite hilly road and connected over to Dreamy Draw. One of the things I love about the preserve is that as much as I have run there I still find myself on trails where I have no idea how I got there and pretty sure that I have never run it before. Today I ended up on some crazy ridgeline. I just kept hoping I would find some smooth way down and not all the steep rocky ones I had come across so far! My downhill skills need work again. Luckily I did find a nice was off the ridgeline. I finished up 12 miles on the trails and headed over to the canal for speed. 12 miles of climbing, 2 easy miles and 5 miles of fast running with a 1 mile cool down. I’m still not super happy with climbing. A month away from Black Canyon I wish I was feeling stronger on the climbs. 
 
I came home and ate, took a nap and got up to run again. Norm decided to go with me. A very easy 6 mile run. I had some painful gas on the second run so I think Norm was running better than me. I get in these ruts were I eat the same thing every day. Lately it has been cabbage, onion, zucchini, green beans and bean sprouts with some cashews cooked until soft in soy sauce. I think I am eating too much cabbage. I am definitely having some gas bubble issues this week.  If you reading this blog for training tips, here you go, don't eat a bowl full of cabbage a few hours before your run.
 
I had already had a glass of wine when my allergies started acting up. It got so bad that I had to take an allergy pill. I was asleep by seven.
 
Sunday:
11 hours of sleep. This is what happens when I have an allergy pill and a glass of wine.  I woke up before Norm left to go work the Black Canyon training run, but went back to sleep. 
 
I went to hot yoga and came home to get some work done. I went for my run in the afternoon. I am trying this schedule because I would like one day to sleep in. It was a little tough to get out the door with only 2 things marked off my “to do” list. But I reminded myself about my intent to make my thoughts, words and actions match up to my philosophy. My goal was 100 miles, but I was a little short. I blame the 2 hour phone call with Directv. 

Monday:
I got a nice 9 mile run in before yoga. The kids got back from Oklahoma at 6am so I chatted with them for a bit which meant losing some time for running. But it was worth it. 
 
In the afternoon we did some shopping for New Years Eve food. We had decided to have appetizers for dinner. It’s one of my favorite meals for a holiday. Norm and I finished watching The Good Place. If you haven't watched it, start now! I was in bed and asleep by 9pm. 
 
I don't know if I believe in resolutions or not. For me, I am not really focused on the New Year. I focus more on making changes during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. And I like using the Chasidic New Year as a chance to check in. But this year, I was still busy wallowing in my sadness. I have decided to just get over myself and stop being so sad. We just have to get through the next month and financially things will improve a bit. Things will be really rough this month, but seeing the end in sight is also helpful. 

 
Tuesday:
Since Norm had the day off I chose to spend the morning hanging out with him. I went to yoga at 9:30am. This meant I had to rearrange my running schedule. And this is why I like coaching myself. I sometimes think about having a coach again, but I like being able to make these adjustments to enjoy life and running without getting permission or listen to crap for my choices. We did some grocery shopping. After I was leaving for my run and Norm decided to join me. We did 6 miles and Norm ran really well compared to a week ago.  He did the whole six miles without walking and never fell down!
 
We discussed the option of running Ord on Sunday afternoons. I used to run it every Friday morning starting early to be back for work, but now I have a long drive to work. And I am always a little nervous out there by myself. Also, my car was there every Friday. Could I make myself an easier target? On Sunday there might be more people and Norm could be there even if he was just hiking behind me. I miss running with Norm because it takes time away from being with him, but I also miss having that extra person for security. 
 
Wednesday:
No more sleeping in because it’s back to work. I headed out for speed work. It was so cold that I could feel my muscles just weren’t warming up. It was about 33 degrees Fahrenheit when I left. After my 3 mile warm up I decided to focus on a slower faster pace. Running 6:50/mile pace felt hard because my quads felt like rocks and I could tell my hamstrings just weren’t warming up. I got through 6 miles and decided I didn't want to risk hurting myself.
 
 
Thursday:
Today I did something I never do.  I wore running tights. My muscles were very happy about this decision! The bad thing about leggings is that you have to pull them all the way down to go pee. I got 10 easy miles on the trail done. 
 
 
Friday:
I left for my progression run and felt like I had zero energy. Knowing that San Tan Scramble 50K was on the books for Saturday I decided to just go with it and take it easy. In retrospect, I should have realized that I was coming down with something. By the afternoon I had a full blown head cold that medicine was not making a dent in at all. 
 
 
Saturday:
I went to bed at 8pm on Friday so I would get 8 hours of sleep before getting up to head to San Tan Scramble. Norm was working so I was going to ride with him. It wasn’t difficult to go to sleep so early since I was feeling so miserable. I got up at 4am and felt like crap. I still felt tired, my throat hurt and my nose was still runny. I decided to skip the race and go back to bed. I slept for another 3.5 hours. That means I slept for 11.5 hours. And I still found it difficult to get out of bed at 7:30am. 
 
I got up. Had coffee. Took the dogs out. I decided to try going for a run. Definitely glad that I skipped the race. My lungs were burning and my legs felt like I had no energy. I took it nice and easy, but 11 miles left me exhausted. There is no way I would have made it through a 50K.  But now I am going to have a pretty low mileage week. 
 
 
Sunday:
Went to my favorite yoga class, but used the rest for the day to rest from running and work. It was already going to be a low mileage week so I decided to work on getting my classes at the community college ready. If I could get myself in place where all of that is ready to go, I will be less stressed during the semester. I am rewriting my class so that I am doing as little grading as possible. I finished the week with 56.7 miles.

​I wrote a whole blog about Desert Solstice, but I am not sure I want to share it. So, I saved it and maybe one day I will feel like revisiting it, but not now. Basically I let people get in my head and didn't stick to the plan and it was a shit show.
 
I have basic race plan for the first four months 2019. I’m running Coldwater 52 miles (1/19) as a training run for Black Canyon 100K (2/16). I am headed back to Colorado to run RUFA 6 hours on March 9 (if I can get registered before it sells out). Of course I will be at my favorite Aravaipa race Crown King Scramble on March 30th. And I am headed to Oklahoma for The Oklahoma City Marathon on April 28th.  I am sure I will through some other stuff in there to use as training runs and speed workouts.
 
I have some ideas or the summer but I haven't really made any decisions or final plans. I am also looking at some FKT’s but need to sit down and make some plans for those. 
 
Monday:
Norm has decided he wants to run again, I think. He asked about running with me a couple days ago. Today Norm decided to head out with me. I told him to pick a distance and that was what we would run. He likes trail better so we went out on the trail. Norm decided to go to Visitor’s Center and back. That seemed a bit far for me (it’s 6 miles total) but it was his choice. We weren’t far in and he seemed to be struggling so I offered to turn around but he wanted to continue. We were close to the Visitor’s Center when Norm took a bad fall right in front of a bunch of people. Poor guy! We walked to the Visitor’s Center. We headed back home after using the bathroom and chatting with some people about their dogs. It was a lovely 3 mile hike home. 
 
Tuesday:
I don't normally post my workouts on here. Not that I am hiding them, you can see it all on my Strava. But I am so happy with this workout that I am posting a picture. And for once my Suunto and Strava where in synch (meaning Strava didn't say I ran insanely fast miles that I did not run.)
 
I left for 12 mile run with 4 miles to warm up and 6 miles at 6:35ish pace. I am terrible at pacing so I never expect to be dead on. I was already worried during the warm up because I was feeling sluggish. Right before starting the fast running I stopped and was trying to mentally pull myself together. Zach and Nicole Bitter went by wishing me a merry Christmas and probably wondering why I was just standing there. I was giving myself a pep talk. The first mile did not go well. I was struggling and didn't come close to pace. I was worried that the whole work out was going to be a disaster. But after that first mile I picked up the pace and felt great. The only time I didn't feel great was when I would look at my watch and see it say 6:15. That would cause me to freak out. I kept having to remind myself to calm down. I was running comfortably and felt fine. I kept telling myself, “You are faster than you think, be happy.”
 
With 3 miles of speed left I started having a bad side cramp. I think it was from the constant stopping and starting due to stop lights, people, and in general city stuff. I had decided to take one of my favorite road routes knowing there wouldn't be much traffic on Christmas Eve. I think it messes up my breathing and ends up giving me a side cramp. Yeah, we'll go with that. 
 
To sum it, I am really impressed with myself! 

​Wednesday:
10 easy miles today. Since my watchband is still broken I wear my running vest and shove the watch in my pocket. If I am not looking at my watch it is easier to run slow. 
 
Thursday:
Since Enzo and Brandi are out of town I am dealing with their puppies and my dogs. By the time I got everyone outside, inside and fed and had my coffee I has been up for almost an hour and a half and my stomach was starting to growl. I got dressed to run and saw that it was 42 degrees outside. I changed back into warm clothes. I decided to work on cleaning my desk and run later today when it warms up.
 
I have come to the conclusion that some sort of massive taper is not for me.  A couple years ago I decided to cut my taper to a few days before the race. I was basically following a plan by David Roche.  That worked well, but I decided that I want to keep mileage a little higher going into a race. I used this approach with Desert Solstice.  Although DS didn't go well, I don't think it was my taper plan that was the problem. I did cut out yoga the week of the race and I think that was a mistake. I go almost every day so I think not going left me feeling really tight. In the future I won't cut back on yoga.
 
I was feeling tired in the afternoon and decided to take a nap, but ended up sleeping longer than I thought. I should have gone for a run, but I just didn't feel like it. I took a shower, had a coffee and a snack. I figured I would run plenty tomorrow. I listened to the podcast I have been listening to over and over again since Desert Solstice. It’s an Outside Podcast called Sweat Science: Loving the Pain. I love this because it talks about doing what you love now. And obviously about pain and human endurance. 

​Friday:
I am trying to go into ATY really chill. It’s really just a training run and the chance to make a go at a decent 100 mile time. I was feeling fine until the car ride. Suddenly I was really nervous. If you don’t know anything about ATY, it’s a little over a mile loop. We decided to park on the backside of the loop and use a small table to put my stuff on that I would be using. It wasn’t much. Squirrels Nut Butter, portable chargers for later in the day a couple changes of clothes and my running vest.  Norm and I had a bit of a squabble when we were parking. 
 
Despite this, the day started off well and went will for most of the day. A few miles before mile 50, two problems developed. I just totally lost interest in running 100 miles. I was bored. The other problem was I was starving! I had tried to up the amount I was eating at the aid station, but it wasn’t helping. At mile 51 I walked with Cheryl Miller for a bit to tell her that I was feeling like I didn't care about running 100 miles. Maybe I just didn't care enough to keep going. She told me I was just tired and I was doing great, just keep going. But really other than being super hungry, I felt fine. 
 
I decided to keep going to 60 miles. For 10 miles all I could think about was how hungry I was. My pace was dropping a bit. I think the hunger was leading to a lack of energy. Combined with a loss of interest I just was having trouble making myself go. I stopped and talked to Norm. I told him I just needed to eat a lot of food. I couldn't think about anything but In and Out Burger. I decided 61 miles was a good training run and with Black Canyon 100K on the horizon I want to be sure I can keep training. 
 
We packed up and headed to In and Out Burger. We stopped at Baskin Robbins on the way home. All the things I don't eat so I'll pay for this tomorrow.
 

​Sunday:
My favorite yoga teacher is back from vacation and the hip hop yoga class on Sunday is my favorite class. I slept in a bit. Not hard to do at all because I was feeling very lazy. I’m at 100 miles for the week so I am taking today off from running.
 
In the end, I am totally fine with my day at ATY. It was a solid run. I also think I have learned that maybe if I want to run 100 miles I need to a point to point course and not loops. I always thought I would like loops better, but I think being able to pick up a pacer that is forced to keep me company might help. But 100 mile races are really freaking expensive so maybe not. 
 
I also know I need to figure out the food thing. I had gotten myself to a place were I could run a lot of miles on very little calories. After taking so much time off due to the ankle injury, that isn't the case any more. I think I can get back there, but it going to take some time. It’s good to know this going into Black Canyon so I am prepared with more food than I would normally eat.

Monday:
10 miles done today.  That's all I know. I didn't write anything down. 
 
Tuesday:
9  miles done and my average pace is coming down. I am able to run under 8 min mile and feel like that is easy pace. I ran a couple miles at race pace. I wish that felt easier than it does. But over all I am happy with they way my body is responding to training. I will finish the week with 70 miles and I don't recommend that you go from zero to 70 miles in 5 weeks. But so far, so good here. The goal is to continue to ramp it up and finish with at least one 100 mile week before I taper for Desert Solstice. 
 
 
Wednesday:
I was dragging during this run. (Later I would start to have symptoms of this terrible cold that Ava has had for a few days.) I got my ten miles done. Zach Bitter went flying past me 3 different times. The first time I saw him he was with Nicole, but I never saw here again so not sure what he did with her body. (Just a joke, I am sure she is fine.) 
 
I started to really go downhill during the afternoon. My poor students I tutor in the evening had to listen to me blow my nose for 2 hours.  I came home, ate, took cold medicine and went to bed at 7:45. I am really frustrated to be getting sick. Just yesterday I was finally feeling like my old self when it came to running and today I felt like a sloth. And I can't lose any days to being sick. Desert Solstice is only getting closer.  
 
We didn't hand out candy because we all are so sick and we don't usually get many kids. But I was mildly worried that my house would get egged. It wouldn't be the first time.
 
Thursday: 
I slept eleven and a half hours after taking cold medicine with a side of wine. I know, not a great idea, but a guarantee that I will get some solid sleep. I heard nothing!
 
In my cold medicine haze (that would happen with or without the wine) I finally got myself out the door to get some miles done. Eight miles was the plan but I left just hoping to get 4 miles done. I was surprised that I was able to drag myself to 6 miles. 
 
Friday:
Up at 5am for yoga. Because candle lighting is so early now I have to go at 5am if I want to go to yoga. The good news is that this cold seems to have passed really quickly for me, while everyone else in my house is still struggling with it.  Thank G-d because I was super stressed about being sick and losing days from training. I came back, ate breakfast (a mix of peanuts. Cocoa dusted almonds and raisins that I make myself, graded some scholarship applications for the community college and went for an 8-mile run. I was running well until I got a side cramp I could not get rid of. So after 5 miles I had to slow it down so I could make it home. Back home to shower, shop for Shabbat dinner and head to work. At the last minute I remembered I had not sent my newsletter for the week for kindergarten so I hurriedly got that done while having lunch (left over roasted potatoes and half an avocado). 
 
My 20-mile run is looming large tomorrow. Although somehow I forgot to buy any nutrition to take on the run with me so I hid a mini snickers bar in the freezer. 
 
Here is a sample of the kind of conversations I am forced to have at my house.
 
Enzo: Can I have this bread?
Me: No the challa is for Shabbat dinner.
Enzo: I’m Shabbat to starve to death!
I just sigh and tell him to go away.
 
Shul was packed full tonight. I was able to follow along a little better. And I saw someone I knew and she gave me a big hug. Back home for dinner. Every week we make the same joke. After you wash for bread you can't talk until you eat bread. But Ava can't eat bread because she can't have gluten. So every week after Norm makes the bracha and we eat some Challa someone always says “and Ava can never talk again.” Poor Ava. 
 
For dinner we did make your own pizza. It was yummy!
 
Saturday:
It’s been a long time since I have run anything close to 20 miles so I was a little concerned about how this was going to go. Of course I forgot about my candy bar in the freezer. And I also forgot that my daughter had given me a small bag of peanut m&m’s. So I took a bag of Skratch chews that may or may not have been expired. The print was really small and couldn't read it. I decided not to look at my watch at all and just run comfortable. Since I still haven't bought a new watchstrap from when Hank it my watch this is easy to do. I just put my watch in my water bottle pouch. 
 
I also did not think about the fact that my body isn't as adapted to being a long distance runner as it used to be. I had got myself to a place where I could run a lot of miles on very few calories because that works well for my stomach. By 9 miles I was starving. I ate half of the possibly expired chews and threw the rest in the trash so I wouldn’t have to keep carrying them. I would really regret this later.  
 
Other than being hungry, the run went really well. My pace was pretty consistent. I ended at 19 miles because I was tired of trying to run in circles to get to 20 miles and at 19 miles I happen to be right in front of my house. Ava had never seen The Shining so we drank coke and ate popcorn and watched the movie. 
 
In theory it’s Shabbat and I shouldn't be doing any thing of these things. I have read about the running thing and if I am running for pleasure only than I can run, but I am not allowed to carry so that would mean no watch, no water bottle, no food.  I am kind of making my own rules for what works for me on Shabbos. I don't work so it’s a great day for a long run and lying around after. I do use my phone, but no emails. I stick to games and some texting. Obviously I am watching tv. But I am the only one observing Shabbat in any form (even if it isn't complete) so the tv is going to be on anyways. For us it just works to use it as a time to hang out and be with each other. No grocery shopping, no cleaning. Just one day to hang and chill.
 
Sunday:
I have been sleeping so well, but I am really stressed about money so I woke up at 2 am and couldn't fall back asleep. At 6am I turned off my alarm and went back to sleep.  I woke up at 7am and debated running in the afternoon. In the end I got out the door for my 7 mile run. I started out feeling like my legs were made of lead, but after a few miles I felt better.  I was short on mileage and needed to run past my house and up the street. Right when I went by he house Norm came out the door with the dogs. As soon as Pasta saw me she sprinted after me. I ended my run to walk her back to the house. I end the week with 69.3 miles, just short of my 70-mile goal. 
 
I finished the morning with my favorite yoga class.  Come join me sometime at hip hop yoga with harmony (she likes it spelled lower case). It’s a hard class, but so much fun and lots of good energy.
 
The next three weeks are going to be really tough training so no one is allowed to stress me out. It will be these weeks that tell me where my fitness is and what the plan for Desert Solstice will be, will it be Goal A or Goal B?

Warning: Norm did not proof read this so it is probably full of errors in grammar and spelling. Read at your own risk!

Did I tell you about Henry? We hadn’t been home from Colorado very long and I was taking the trash out on a rainy day. And there was a little teeny tiny turtle on my driveway. So freaking cute! Not afraid of people at all. We found out he is a desert tortoise hatchling so we read up and Norm created him a little habitat on the side of the house where the dogs never go. And now we have the cutest little friend in the world!  I really felt like he was a gift from G-d to cheer me up. I was feeling so down but that silly little turtle appeared out of nowhere and makes me so happy. 

​We also took in a foster dog. His mom was hit by a car and is in rehab. The dog had ended up at the shelter and the lovely people at rehab (my friend Lindsey is one of them) got the dog out of the shelter (which was a bit of a situation) and had been rotating him around all the nurses to manage care for him. Lindsey asked if I would be willing to foster. She probably figured that I have 6 dogs and wouldn't really notice one more small one. He is so cute! His name is Snoopy and he is a handful, but so cute that you forgive him for it. Because Hank needs about 6 month to get use a new dog Snoopy is staying in the back of the house so I don't see him as much as I would like.  But my two youngest are taking good care of him while simultaneously being tortured by him but also finding him adorable. Pasta and Snoopy play really well together. It’s funny to watch them because one is so much bigger than the other.

Monday:
Isn’t it awesome when you think you have 10 miles on the schedule and you find out that you only have 8 miles! 
 
Tuesday:
I didn't write today and I don't remember anything about this. I ran 8 miles and that is all I know.
 
Wednesday:
I headed out onto the trail and ended up running 10 miles because it was so beautiful and the trails were pretty empty. 
 
Thursday:
I go to 6am yoga on Thursday because it’s my favorite teacher. The plan was to get out hair cut in the morning and I would run in the afternoon, but our stylist had to reschedule so I got my run done in the morning. But this almost meant legs felt a little dead after yoga. I just did an easy 5 miles and called it a day. I am a little concerned about being able to run 18 miles this weekend so no need to push it on the mileage now. 
 
It’s my favorite time of the year! Javelina Jundred time! Not because I am racing. Dear G-d no! It is always so hot. And this year is no exception. The weather has been beautiful and now it’s over 90 degrees just in time for race day. It’s my favorite time of year because my family all works the race and they tell me the funniest stories. Enzo has already been out there for 2 days and it cracking me up every night at dinner. 
 
Friday:
I was only going to run 5 miles but I was feeling so good and the weather was so nice that I ran 10 miles. I will probably totally regret this decision tomorrow during my 20 mile run. 
 
 
Saturday:
I clearly was not thinking when I planned a long run in a Saturday when Norm would not be home. Norm is working long and early shifts at Javelina Jundred. So I had to sleep on a futon with two dogs. When I got up I had to walk two dogs. I got out the door late and didn't have enough time to run 20 miles before I had to be back to take Brandi to work (because Enzo is also working Javelina and took her car this morning). I ran 10 miles and did a bit of practicing running what will be race pace. It felt okay. 
 
I had planned to spend the day hanging out at Javelina, but I am not in the mood to socialize. And I really should finish my dissertation corrections. So I spent the day working on my dissertation.
 
Sunday:
Norm left here around 2am to head back to Javelina Jundred for work. He put Hank in is crate and of course Hank started crying. I let him out of the crate and he proceeded to bark his head off all night. When it was time to get up I struggled. By the time I pulled myself up to sitting I had a very short amount of time to get the dogs walked and have coffee before I needed to leave for my run. I didn't want to miss my favorite yoga class. 
 
I started out on a ten-mile run and was happy to realize while running that I only needed 9 miles to get to 60 miles for the week. So, I didn't get a ling run done this weekend, but I did still meet my weekly mileage goal.
 
Since I talked so much about converting last week I feel like I can’t ignore the shooting at Pittsburgh. I do look at my phone during Shabbat so I turned on the news. Even before this happened I have thought a lot about hate towards the Jewish people. Because I have been teaching in Jewish schools for many years now, it is something that I think about. But let’s face it, as a teacher and a professor, I am always thinking about safety during the day. It was also something I gave a lot of thought to as I considered converting. I had to ask myself, am I willing to make myself a target of anger because I am Jewish? Every time we put a menorah in the window during Chanukah I wonder, are we making ourselves a target? A lot has been made about the statement that armed guards would make a difference. At Congregation Beth Israel we have an armed police officer at service. Norm and I were talking about it last night and I said, what would the officer do if someone with a gun showed up? He is a very nice man. Always has a smile and says hello when I see him at services. He isn't standing with his gun drawn. If you looked “normal” walking up, I feel like you could shoot before the officer could react. I know it's not just Jewish synagogue’s being targeted. I don’t think any of us, regardless of belief, should need armed guards to go to service, or the school or the grocery store. We can be different, we should be different, but we should be respectful and no one should tolerate hate or violence.