​Monday:
I took a rest day on Sunday. My hamstring was just not happy, so I decided to give it a rest. I really wanted to go to yoga, but I would feel guilty to spend the money on it. My instructor had told me that I could come as her guest sometimes and so I texted her. I described myself as the "girl who cries all the time." Unfortunately, she was out of town, but she also gave me suggestions for describing myself that sounded better than the girl who cries all the time. Yes, I cry a lot in my yoga class. I don't know chakras, meridian lines, dark room… Whatever.
 
So back to Monday, since I am currently not working, I decided that I might as well get back to focusing on training. I have Stagecoach 55K coming up in 2 months I would prefer not to repeat my crappy time from 2 years ago. (I also cried during this race, multiple times. Honestly, I need to get a grip.) Getting ready to leave, I was trying to find my pack. I spent 10 minutes looking for it and no luck. I think we left it at the race in Flagstaff, Ugh! I don't have a large bottle because Hank ate the top of my only large handheld, so I had to go with the Nathan shot, which is like 8 ounces or something ridiculous. I didn't push it and tried to avoid trail since my legs felt tired but managed to et in 11 miles. I did expand on a run I love and find a nice gently hilly road route that I am sure will be a regular run for me.  
 
I email Ian about the vest, and yes, he has it. Sounds like a good excuse to go back to Flagstaff. I text Hayley, and we make a tentative plan to go up on Friday. 
 
I decide now is the time to start up weights again. Oh my. A made it through 30 minutes of a 50-minute video that I have used a lot in the past. But I also did not want to kill myself because I would like to be able to walk and put on my clothes for the rest of the week.
 
To fully enjoy being unemployed at the moment, I took a nice long nap.
 
Tuesday:
I don't remember anything about today except I am pretty sure I took a nice long nap, and I ran 11 miles.

Wednesday:
Finally some cooler temps in the morning! But the humidity was out of control, which, I guess, also brings gnats? I had some many gnats stuck to my body at the end of the run.  I ran in circles in a hilly neighborhood to get some easy climbing.
 
I signed up at the community college to be a mentor to a veteran student in a pilot program on my campus (my campus is one of three). I spent the afternoon in training, which never sounds like fun, but it was pretty enjoyable. The presenter was excellent, and I got to know some people from college. 
 
 
Thursday:
Hayley convinced me to get up super early and join her to run with a group called Women Running Wild. I was a pretty large group of young ladies. I was definitely the way oldest woman there by quite a bit. They are a very peppy group of ladies! Lots of wooing. Let me be clear that I am not criticizing. I'm jealous. I remember being young and happy. Now I am just old and beat down and cynical. It happens. But when they took their pictures on the top of the mountain, I jumped in the air too! I just made sure to hide my three babies belly in the back despite definitely not being the tallest person there. Maybe I'll start a group called Worn Out Women Whining While Running. It's joke, everybody calm down. (Sometimes I think I am being funny, but people out there feel the need to give me shit so I just thought I would be clear - I am being funny.)
 
We did a nice little 6-mile run. There was a group also going a shorter distance. They are a super friendly group of women, and the leader was really conscious of making sure no one got left behind and lost.  They even serve treats and coffee post-run. If you are looking for a group of ladies that run super early on Thursday mornings, you should check it out.
 
Hayley and I took off to have breakfast and spend some time catching up. Then back to mentor training in the afternoon.
 
Friday:
I had planned to do my long run today, but I didn't get up when my alarm went off at 4 am, I turned it off and went back to sleep. I left the house and pretty quickly realized I didn't have a buff. But I didn't turn around and get one I would regret that when hot, salty sweet was running into my eyeballs.  I felt pretty good and although I wasn't running "fast" I was running fast enough for the pace to lead to some heat sickness at the end of the run. A couple of miles from my house, I had to stop in the shade and turn, so the wind was cooling me off a bit. I started running again and ended up feeling cold and getting goosebumps even though I definitely was not cold. I was close to home. I had a bit of headache post-run for a bit. Instead of being deterred, I decided to use all this heat training and signed up for Jackrabbit Jubilee. I also signed up for Cave Creek Thriller because it is one of my favorite races. 
 
After receiving lots of rejections emails this week, I actually got an email that said someone wants to interview me. Let's be honest; sometimes, you apply for jobs and think, "that would be a fine job." But I actually think I would enjoy this job. Tuesday morning I have a job interview for a job that I think I would actually enjoy. It's a minor miracle.
 
Norm worked late, and Ava was asleep, so it was a party of 2 for Shabbat dinner.  We also did not have Challah because the Whole Foods on Shea and Tatum has stopped selling it. I spoke with the guy in the bakery, and he said I wasn't the only person unhappy about this. I told him to tell the higher-ups that Jewish people need it every Friday so maybe we could just get it on Fridays? So we made a substitute and called it a day. Ava and I can't eat anyways because we can't eat gluten. (I usually have a little, Ava can't have any at all.) s
 
Saturday:
Guess who slept in again? Ugh! I headed out with a plan to keep the pace really easy to avoid any heat-related sickness. And I did NOT forget my buff. I managed to feel better today, but it was so hot. The last 5.5 miles, I stopped at two different gas stations to fill my water bottle. 
 
Sunday:
The plan was to drive to Sycamore Creek to do a long run this morning. But I woke up feeling terrible. My mouth was so dry. I just felt so dehydrated. I decided just to run around here since I was up early. I decided to use a pack that I don't love but doesn't usually cause me problems until I have a lot of miles. I get ready to leave and see that my watch is on 30 percent. Okay, so I won't be running 20 miles today. I start running, and I have a terrible side cramp immediately. The cramp eventually goes away, but my stomach is just never right.  My pace is so slow. And the pack started rubbing me almost immediately, so I end up holding my water flask instead of putting it in my pack.  I called it enough at 9 miles.  I came home and stripped off all my clothes and stood in front of the freezer with the door open. 
 
I'll call myself happy with 72 miles for the week. I didn't get anywhere close to the climbing I wanted for the week, so I really need to start to focus on that moving forward. 
 
I went to yoga, and the heat in the room was really bothering me, which never happens. This makes me think that maybe the heat incident had earlier this week was worse than I thought. But the good news is that my hamstring seems to be tolerating yoga a lot better.
 
There is a corner that I pass on my way to yoga that has a homeless young man. The first time I saw him, I didn't have any money, so I gave him snacks out of my bag. Not very exciting, nuts and raisins. Now I try to make sure that I have some cash to give him. Over time I have learned his name, and if the light is long, we chat a little bit. I once told him, "I know this isn't very helpful, but I think about you." When I don't see him for a while, I worry about him.
I haven't seen him in a few weeks, so when I saw him today, I rolled down my window and called out his name. I told him I had been worried about him, and he told me he had been standing on another corner. I asked him if he was taking care in the heat and he told me every few days he can stay with his dad and that during the day he goes to the methadone clinic and the workforce office.  I am always happy to see him, and he always seems genuinely happy to see me and chat with me. But after I pull away, I always feel guilty. I feel like I should be doing more. I guess I always assumed he was using drugs, but hearing he was going to the methadone clinic made me feel even sadder.  I called Norm to talk t him before I went into yoga because I was feeling really sad. He told me that I am doing everything I can and that no one can help him until he decides this life isn't what he wants any more. I still feel like I need to do more. I don't know why this one person has affected me, but he does. I do worry about him, and I do think about him during the week, just wondering if he is okay in the heat. 
 
I came home and had to finish working on setting up my classes in Canvas. The joys of being an adjunct professor. I have spent many hours working this week to get ready for classes and guess who isn't getting paid for that work? Yeah, me. 
 
Everyone in my house has been sick over the last two weeks. I have somehow managed to keep it away, but I am still a little concerned. So fingers crossed I don't come down with whatever they all have.

​After coming home from California, I had two weeks left at the Botanical Garden summer camp. It wasn't my best weeks of running because I struggled to get back in the habit of waking up at 3:45 am to able to run before work. 

It also became clear that I wasn't going to be able to afford to travel to San Francisco for the marathon, so that is marathon number 2 off the schedule. I think at this point I need to realize that going for an OTQ this year isn't going to happen. 

I decided that instead I would head to Flagstaff for the day and run the 6-hour Parhelic Circle trail race. I love a tied race, so it was the perfect event to jump into to replace the marathon. 

Camp finished up, and I still have no job. I have my classes at the community college, but that isn't enough. It's not easy to work out a schedule where I can work part-time at two places and make enough money to support myself.  I realize I may have to leave college and take a full-time job. So, I have been applying for full time and part time jobs and so far nothing. It's a little bit stressful. 

Since I am not longer working at the summer camp, I invited my now former boss to go with me for a long run at my favorite spot. I love running at Sycamore Creek. It's beautiful, and there is rarely any traffic. The aloneness of it is incredible, but also a little scary so I usually try to drag someone with me.  John agreed to go with me, and I am glad that he did. It had to the potential to be awkward since we didn't really know each other, but we got along great, and the conversation flowed easily. I had a great time and got 21.5 miles in. I did run out of water a few miles before we made it back to the car and that wasn't fun. As soon as we started driving back to Phoenix, my stomach turned on me, and I needed the bathroom bad! I drive a little faster than usual to get to that gas station.  I really needed a bathroom and a fountain drink! 

After coming home from the run, I have been obsessed with developing a plan to run from Sycamore Creek to Horseshoe Reservoir. It looks totally doable, but I am not sure the mileage and how much water I would need. This might be a fall adventure.

I also have another adventure added to my list. Norm and I watched a documentary called Darwin, and now I really want to visit the town. I think I have Hayley talked into it.

Monday:
I left this house with no real plan. The goal was at least 10 miles. My hamstring is feeling a little cranky. I think from all the sitting on Sunday. I run into Nicole Bitter on the canal, and we chat for a few minutes. I manage to get 12 miles done. I try really hard not to think about how stressed I am that I have no job and a minimal amount to my name. I just keep telling myself that there isn't a thing I could be doing at home so I should just enjoy that I have time to run with no pressure to return by a specific time. 

I came home and applied for two jobs. Went to the grocery store, which by the way takes forever when you are trying only to spend a small amount of money. I am never rolling in money, but I can usually just buy whatever I want to eat. I really wanted dairy-free ice cream, but I had to wait until I put all the groceries in my cart before I could decide if I had the money for it. Then I spent way too long standing in front of it and agonizing over whether or not to buy it because dairy-free ice cream is so expensive. I am not a fan of all of this. 

Tuesday:
Slept in, which meant I was short on time because I had things to do to do. I also woke up to a message from someone who is looking for teachers. Now I have an interview tomorrow. 

I went out for a little trail time. I am trying to get the climbing back in and get used to being on the rocky trail. I always feel a little unsure and slow when I have been off the trail for a while.

Wednesday:
I woke up to a rainy day but was not feeling great because it was that time of the month. I was not going to miss the chance to run with storm clouds and sprinkles. I just told myself that I could be as slow as I wanted which worked for a while, but despite wanting to keep going, I finally gave into feeling like crap and headed home. 

I had my interview in the afternoon. Things went well, and I am just waiting for the contract to see if everything will work out. 

Thursday and Friday:
Uneventful. Just running easy knowing that I am racing on Saturday. 

Saturday:
I am running the 6-hour race at the Parhelic Run. Ian Torrance is putting on the race. The race started at noon, so I slept in and made our way to Flagstaff. We left a lot earlier than necessary because you can never predict what will happen on the I-17.  

We got to the race, and I checked in. I realized that I had no food with me. Usually, when I am working, I carry a ton of food in my purse, but the bag is empty. Lucky they sell a few things to eat at the Nordic Center. I bought a snickers bar to eat.  

Somehow I was under the impression that the race was relatively flat. In the pre-race chat, I find out that I am totally wrong about that.  Oops! Off we go. I am basically following the guy in front of me. The race is well marked, but not always a super clear trail. A few times we weren't quite sure, but between the tree markings and the flags, it was usually pretty ways to figure out. I came through loop one in 58 minutes. Norm was taking pictures, which was nice but I needed him to tell him to get my bottle with Skratch. I ask him to get my pack ready and take off on loop two. Here is where the serious climbing takes place, but the reward is some super amazing views. I go up a rocky climb only to find a loose rock descent on the other side. My least favorite.  I took it super slow and didn't care. Luckily both of the trails give you a chance to do some flying. I finish the 2nd loop in 54 minutes. 

I went out on my third loop and a quarter mile or so from the start line, and I was lost. I tried to figure it out, but I couldn't figure it out. I had to run back, and a nice guy named Kyle went out with me. This time it makes total sense, and I could see where I completely blew past the cones and missed the flags. But I have to talk myself out of feeling totally defeated by what just happened. I lost a little time, but it's fine. Except it isn't fine. I realize I don't have any food in my pack. I had a payday bar, but I forgot that I pulled it out and ate it watching tv one night. So now I am trying to keep myself from falling apart over the food situation. It doesn't help that I am not sure how much mileage I need to add due to going back to the start when I got lost. I just have to keep talking myself off the ledge. I have to acknowledge that I am not going to go as fast as I want and do my best.

I made it back to the start line and got a pb&j and some coke. I told Norm I was going to be doing a lot of walking and headed off. I ended up walking a lot of the flat to eat my sandwich and get my headphones untangled. I have a little trick I use when I don't want to run up something. I run and count to 30 and when I get to 30 if I still feel like walking, I will. But a lot of times things have flattened out, or I can convince myself to run a little more. I pass an older gentleman who seems to be struggling. I offer to stay with him, but he tells me to go on. I feel bad to leave him knowing one of the hardest climbs and descent is coming up. But it gives me the push I need to run faster to try to get back to the start and let them now he might need some help. 

I had told Norm to have some Advil ready for me. My hamstring was not great, and I probably should have called it a day, but I still had so much time.  So I took the Advil and headed out for the 3rd loop. I planned to take it easy, but once I got going, I just wanted to push myself when I could and try to finish as fast as I could. I caught up to the two guys I had been chasing all day and passed them. Next thing I knew one of them was next to me and saying, "Sorry, I told myself I wouldn't get competitive today." The three of us all stopped for water and introduced ourselves. We start running, but Brian takes off. I laughingly tell his friend Jason that his friend really didn't want to get beat by a girl. He says he doesn't think it's the girl thing he just didn't want to get beat by anyone.  I have to walk the climbs and tell Jason to go ahead. But when I get to the nice flat and downhill into the finish, I pass Jason and push myself as hard as I can. I finish loop 5 with 40 minutes let in the 6 hours. No way I am going to finish a loop in 40 minutes. 

I managed 1st female and 2nd overall for the 6-hour race. It felt so good to be racing again. A huge thanks to Ian for having me at his race. We hang out a bit. I drank a beer. Now I need food fast. We eat at taco Bell – not my first choice, but we are broke, and I need a lot of food. The drive home feels like forever because I am dirty and sticky and gross.

Parhelic Circle was an awesome race. I definitely want to go back. Nordic Village was pretty cool. I would love to go back and stay in a hut. 

​Friday:
I wake up this morning and read about it being a special Shabbat because it is the 25th Yartzheit of the Rebbe. It makes me think about how I have been stuck in this depressed place and how the Rebbe really promoted being positive.  We have a picture of the Rebbe in our kitchen that talks about how he promoted the thought of “think good and it will be good.”  When I started reading the words of the Rebbe it resonated with me and gave me some comfort and something to hold on to. It’s a bit of a double edge sword because I don't feel like I can commit to an Orthodox conversion so I feel a bit left out of something important to me, but at the same time it has been central to my life and the life of my family. Bottom line though is that this very important anniversary of the passing of the Rebbe was the kick in the butt that I needed to really try to be positive. It can be so hard to turn things around, to leave behind the comfort of being stuck even though it is a bad place. This gave me the reason to feel like I am starting over. Kind of like a New Years of sorts. 
 
I ran 6 miles around Burbank while Norm drove the girls to Anime Expo. I stumbled on the coolest park. I was running up a street and see this huge arch. It is a really cool park. There is a playground, baseball field, a library in an amazing building, a historic home and Japanese garden and tea house. There are very clean bathrooms and a few different trails. Norm and I return to the park to do some hiking. We decide on the motorway and surprised to find permanent markers for something called the Verdugo Mountain 10K. We hike to the saddle and realize we could keep going. I know this connects to Stough Nature Center. After looking around we head back down. 
 
Starving I text our youngest to ask about going to get pizza at Whole Foods. We decide this is a great idea! The Whole Foods in Burbank has some many amazing options! They even have two vegan options. Take note Phoenix Whole Foods, you could do better. 
 
We stop at a grocery store called Pavillions to get some food for Shabbat. Knowing that there is a Chabad close by I am pretty sure we will be able to get challah here. Not only do they challah, they have Pas Yisorel challah!  (Think of Pas Yisorel as extra special kosher. It has to do with the overseeing done by the Rabbi but I am not going into that now.) I also pick up Shabbat candles because I knew mine would melt on the drive to LA. 
 
When we get home we decide to kick back and watch Netflix. We start watching the Staircase and now I want to do nothing with my life but watch this show, even though I know the ending. 
 
We had a lovely Shabbat dinner and the kids walk Katie through what to do at her first Shabbat. After dinner we are all just hanging out and there is another earthquake. As it starts I call out “earthquake!” to the kids but it goes on for a long time and seems to get pretty strong. I call all the kids to come stand in a doorway in the middle of the house in case things start falling down. These earthquakes are so crazy!
 
Nick and I were meant to meet up at 6am for a run in the San Gabriel’s, but around 12:30pm I wake up sneezing and can’t stop. After about 10 sneezes my nose is running while also stuffed and it’s burning like I need to sneeze. Of course I have no allergy medicine with me. I spend hours feeling miserable and unable to sleep. I am almost sitting upright in an effort to try to breathe. I text Nick and let him know there is no way I am going to make it. I am not going to be getting up to run at 4:45 when it is 3am and I still awake and struggling to breathe. I look up a 24 hour CVS and start thinking about hauling myself up there, but fortunately fall asleep.

Saturday:
I wake up a little after 6am and my allergies seem a bit better. I know that when I am running my allergies won't bother me so I have a cup of coffee and head out the door. I think my hamstring is a little unhappy with all the sudden climbing so I try to stay as flat as possible.  Definitely not getting a long run done today. I leave and realize I really need to pee, but someone is in the shower so I decided to run Brand Park where I went yesterday because I know it is a mile and a half and I can use the bathroom. From there I head to Brace Park which was my original destination. Brace Park is a beautiful shady park. The bathrooms are super clean. I don't think the bathroom at my house is this clean.  I use the bathroom, drink some water and head back to the house. You really could just run park to park here. It’s pretty amazing. 
 
The girls are still at the house. Norm takes them to Anime Expo while I shower and eat. We decided to visit Descanso Botanical Garden. But first we stop for allergy medicine. At the garden Norm and I get in free since I am employee at the Botanical Garden in Phoenix so we only pay $6 for the teenager. The garden is so freaking beautiful. If you are in LA you should definitely go. We loved the Ancient Forest. I could have stayed there all day. The rose garden is also so amazingly beautiful. 
 
We come home and have lunch and watch more Netflix. We also make a run to Yummy Cupcakes. I am going to miss that place! Ava texts and wants to come home to eat, change out of cosplay and head back to the expo. So that’s what we do. I do the dishes while Norm drives her back to the expo. 

Sunday:
I get up and go for a run feeling a little sad that this is my last run in California.  We check out of the Airbnb and take the girls to Anime Expo. We decided to check out a Japanese Garden in Van Nuys and also find an amazing place to do some running next time I’m in LA. The garden was small but pretty. Then we went back to get the girls and drop my youngest with my ex-husband. We drove back and forth across LA 4 times! Then the long drive home. 

If you have been reading my blog and you are feeling sick of me being depressed, don't read this. It hasn't gotten much better. I always struggle with how honest to be in this blog. I usually don't censor myself much because I think maybe there is some one who feels the same as me and wants to hear others feel the same way. I am never going to be labeled as the happiest or most positive or probably even the nicest. But that’s okay. Trust me, I beat myself up a lot over that so you aren't thinking anything I don't already think about myself. Plus, I always tell Norm if I wasn’t such a complete disaster how would he know that he was so nice and cheery and wonderful. I am the measuring stick. 
 
Monday:
I think my legs have finally recovered from Steep Camp. It felt good to get some speed going, but I had slept in and it was already in the 90’s when I left the house. I did a short progression run and then ran easy the rest of the way home. 
 
It’s the week of July 4th so as usual we are headed to LA for Anime Expo. Not for me, but for my daughter. We finished packing up for the trip. Or I finished packing for the trip. Norm wanted to go wash and vacuum my car. I was slightly annoyed. I still had other errands to run and a clean car was not high on my list of priorities for driving 6 hours through the desert.  I was able to get him to run my errands for me instead of wash the car and we headed out around11am.
 
We arrive, get some grocery shopping done, have dinner and go to bed. There is a Trader Joe’s a few blocks away. Dear Trader Joes, your gluten free options leave a lot to be desired. Now I know why I rarely shop there. With no gluten free soy sauce we tried coconut aminos for the first time. It was okay. 
 
Tuesday:
This year we are in Burbank, which is new for us. We usually stay in Highland Park which is my most favorite neighborhood. Walking distance to Trader Joes was awesome, but other than that I wasn’t in love with Burbank until I went running today. The neighborhoods were easy to run through and I made my way, accidentally, to Stough Canyon Nature Park. The park is in the Verdugo Mountains. Just smooth, flat road running. Since I learned that my hamstring doesn’t mind climbing at Steep Camp I decided to go head and do some uphill running. But maybe I should back up to Steep Camp?
 
I wanted to write about how amazing Steep Camp was but I never got the chance. I have been getting up at 3:45am to run before working from 7:30 until 3:30 at the botanical garden. After getting home, walking dogs, prepping for the next day, and making dinner I am usually in bed by 6:30pm. 
 
I decided to run Steep Camp at the last minute. It’s hard to explain, but I just needed to do some really hard stuff with my body.  And I needed an adventure. I convinced Norm that it would be fun to get up at 2:30am and drive to Greer for the race. Although in my defense, when I first concocted this idea I thought that the race was in Flagstaff.  
 
We stopped in Payson to get a second round of coffee, but the Starbucks employees weren’t unlocking the door. We tried knocking a few times, but nothing.  Ten minutes past opening time we went through drive through and asked them to unlock the door.  I really need to go to the bathroom. 
 
We got to the race about 10 minutes before the start. We registered and I went to the bathroom. I lost Norm not sure what he was doing. The race started and I was still trying to braid my hair. I had no idea where Norm was, but Norm doesn't mind starting a race after it actually starts. Since I have done zero climbing I decide that I need to just focus on having fun and not on being competitive but somehow I ended up in the lead for the women. 
 
The course is steep, but not as bad as that climb at Snowbowl. The third time up I was passing people using the mantra “stop being so dramatic, it’s just walking!” It was the descent that I hated.  It was steep, loose dirt with trees and roots and rocks and very twisty. I did a lot of sliding on my butt after having my legs come out from under me more times than I like the first time down. 
 
On my third time up I decided that was my last time. I had time to get up and down again and I risked being bumped from first place, but I decided I was okay with it. My decision was confirmed when on my way down from the third loop a man standing on the trail told me he had seen a bear.  “Was it a baby” I ask. He replies no. “was it big?” I ask, he replies no. “So a juvenile? “I ask.  This conversation is going nowhere. Did you make noise I ask? He didn’t so I clap my hands a few times and let out some whooping noises and head down the trail telling him if I get attacked to save him self. 
 
Norm got 2 laps done and called it a day, but since he doesn't do any running or hiking or training of any sort, that was pretty good. I am so glad that we went. I had a lot of fun. It was really great for me to be racing again, even if I wasn't focused on being competitive. I remember thinking during the race that it felt so good to be racing, that I don't really know who I am if I am not a competitive athlete. I know I am meant to feel that my self worth isn't dependent on my athletic performance, but that is not how I feel. I mean, if some of my worth isn't dependent on my performance and effort as an athlete then why have I been wasting so much time and money on racing and training? There has to be some meaning to it. 
 
In the end, the lady in 2nddecided to go for another loop. I wished h luck and took some time to sun bath with Norm before heading home. I ended up 2ndfemale and I am totally fine with it. 
 
Back to Burbank where I am on the trail in Stough Nature Park.  I saw 4 people the entire time. I definitely felt very alone which I love (but also find a bit scary). I was convinced that I was going to be eaten by a mountain lion. Since I didn't have water with me I didn't go too far before heading back to the house. 
 
I stopped at the very clean bathrooms at the nature center and noticed a sign about a Hepatitis A outbreak. I am not a big hand washer but after wondering if I have been vaccinated for Hepatitis A I washed real good and tried not to touch anything. I mean I know I am not sharing drug needles, but I need my liver.  Better safe than sorry. 
 
Other than a trip to Whole Foods we spent the rest of the day being lazy. 

​Wednesday:
I met up with my friend Nick at Westridge Trailhead. I was pretty excited to see a new trail. This place was amazing! You just have no idea that you are in the middle of the city. 
 
We started off by going down this ridiculous single track. I mean, it was fine but if you don't know I have a serious aversion to step and loose dirt so again, I did a lot of butt sliding. I am sure Nick and his friend Rob thought I was insane, but my knees can't take a lot of steep pounding and I always end up on my ass anyways. But the rest was awesome smooth fire road.  I marvel at how amazing it is to live in a big city like this and be able to go places where you feel like you are in the middle of no where.  The guys tell me about a trail that goes down to the Nazi Camp. I ask if we can stay off that trail, yikes!  It’s a place called Murphy’s Ranch. But after looking at pictures of it, we are considering a trip there. We top out at a spot with a water fountain bathrooms and believe it or not a pay phone. Some down, a small amount of climbing and before I know it we are bombing down to the start. I am so thankful to Nick and Rob for agreeing to meet up with me and share some miles. It was nice to just go and have some fun and chat with people who aren't caught up in my day to day depression. We went to breakfast at a small place called the OC café.  After I left I was thinking about how I had so much fun and I was so happy. I decided to just make the choice and be happy and stop being so stressed and ruining my day and the day of everyone else.  That lasts a few hours before I was screaming at Norm in the car on the way to Malibu with the kids. Then we all rode in awkward silence while I developed a massive stomach ache because I am a complete asshole who can't even be nice for a day.  I know money isn't everything, but if I don't find a decent job soon and start making enough money to live I don't know how I am going to every decrease my stress. 
 
My hamstring wasn’t feeling great. Not sure if it was because I over did it in yoga on Sunday or sitting for so long on the car ride here or all the sudden climbing and descending or maybe a combination if it all. This house doesn't have any butter knives so Norm used the handle of some other utensil to scrape it for me.  
 
So we get to Malibu and head to the beach. I had picked Leo Carrillo because it would be low tide when we would get there at 4pm and the kids wanted to check out some tide pools. I also chose it because all the other beaches closed their parking at 4pm and we weren’t going to get there until a little after 4pm. But it was a great beach. The kids had a blast and I really enjoyed just laying on the beach. We stayed for 2 hours before heading back home for a late dinner. 

Thursday:
I woke up just not feeling great. I stayed in bed for a bit with my coffee. We got the girls up to get ready for Anime Expo. Norm took them while I applied for jobs.  When he got back we decided to go for hike. It was good for me to take a rest day probably and a chance to spend some time together instead of me being off running by myself. I took him to Stough Nature Center and we did an out and back 6 mile hike. More people were around today but still not a ton of people.  
 
We come home from the hike and Norm is trying to park in a spot where the car is clearly not going to fit. I tell him that he is going to be blocking a driveway and then some guys walks over and I say “oh G-d” as Norm rolls down the window. He listens while the man lectures him about blocking the driveway and how there are plenty of other places to park. I just get pissed. I am mad at Norm for trying to park there. I am mad at the man for lecturing us. I am mad at Norm for not telling the guy, “oh yeah I realized that I am not going to fit and we are moving.” Norm starts to turn around and I say, “you have to let me out of this car now.” I get out and head into the house. This is me these days. Nerves frayed to the edge. Everything just gets to me. I go into the house and cry in the bathroom for 5 minutes and I don’t even know why I am crying. 
 
We went to Yummy Cupcakes because I had read they have really good gluten free and vegan cupcakes. We bought a bunch of different cupcakes to have for dinner. The staff was so friendly! This might be a bad thing to know about. 
 
More applying for jobs before heading to pick up the girls. I am trying to make Ava her favorite dinner, but the pilot light on the oven keeps going out and so it is making cooking dinner seriously difficult. Norm is spending most of his time on the floor of the kitchen to watch the flame of the oven. 
 
After dinner we ate the yummy Yummy cupcakes and guess what? They were yummy! 

We still have a few days left in California, but this was getting long so I decided to divide it into two parts. So... to be continued. 

I haven't been writing because I have still been feeling pretty depressed. I have good days and bad days. Good weeks and bad weeks. I am just not happy with my life. I tried to make changes to make me happy and it ended in disaster. I'm not really sure what to do. On top of that, being injured has left me feeling unhappy. It's June and here is where I am at half way into the year. 
 
I missed Black Canyon because I was so sick. I missed Lake Sonoma because I have high hamstring tendonitis. I was fortunate to catch it before it was too bad and I could keep running, but it had to be slow and zero climbing. No yoga, no lower body weights and definitely no plyo. 
 
So, my plans for the year have to shit. The FKT’s I had planned probably aren’t going to happen. I was hoping to focus on Missoula Marathon at the end of June. I wanted to plan on another marathon in the fall to attempt to run an Olympic Trials qualifying time. But since I have had to drop speed work from my running I’m not sure how that is going to work. 
 
After the list of qualifying times for Desert Solstice came out I was worried about the race filling up so I decided to make a go at a qualifying time at Hotfoot Hamster. I decided that it was better to run over night. The temps will be much better. Hot, but better. May in the dessert is like the middle of the summer everywhere else. 
 
I was a little nervous about the race. I wasn’t sure how my hamstring would hold up to 50 miles. I hadn’t run over 15 miles in a really long time.  Some weeks I felt great, but recently I had a really rough week and the hamstring was unhappy. I was back to running every other day and running slow. I went into Hotfoot Hamster thinking that the race would destroy my hamstring and I would be on rest with no running for an undetermined amount of time. But Charlie and I had discussed it and a qualifier for Desert Solstice was really important to me. 
 
Hotfoot Hamster is run at Nardini Manor. It’s a 500 meter course.  Some parts are wider than others. The course has been improved by the new owner and the path is super smooth. It’s a tough place to try to run a competitive pace because how tight the course can be in places, but also a fun place to run. I really enjoy running here.
 
Things didn't start off well. Despite being charged earlier in the day, my ipod was dead. So I am trying to run fast and tell Norm how to charge my ipod. To get his attention I had to scream across the whole place, which then had other people yelling at him to get his attention. Thank you to those people! Norm has lost hearing in one ear and doesn't hear well. Later he decided to stand next to the speaker playing music. The music out of the speaker was so loud that I couldn't hear my headphones when I ran past. I finally had to tell him to move because he couldn't hear me. I waited too long to get food and started to feel myself fading. I think because it was so hot food just sounded terrible. When I finally stopped for some PB&J it was hard on the outside and I turn to throw to Norm, but he didn't hear me say “this is hard, I can't get this down” so he is caught off guard and I hit him right in the nose with the sandwich. 
 
At 30 miles I ask Norm how fast I need to run to qualify and he tells me 8:40 pace for the rest of the race. I managed to keep the pace under 8 minutes and when I start to feel terrible at mile 37 I feel okay about it because I know I can really slow down and still run a qualifier. When I ask Norm what pace I need to run he tells me 8:20 pace. “Are you kidding me?” I yell at him. When I come back around I stop and tell him that he previously told me 8:40 pace, how could it be 8:20 pace now? He says he will do the math again. While he is doing that I am not getting any water and I am getting really frustrated. Finally he tells me that I do need to run 8:20 pace. He starts following me and trying to encourage me. He tells me to just run 8:20 pace for two more hours. That just breaks me mentally. I finally tell him to stop talking to me, which pisses him off. I hear him say the F word as he stops running behind me. 
 
It’s really hot and I have been working really hard. I know I didn't manage my nutrition well and I am feeling a bit tired. I also know that things might improve, I know that I should keep going. I don't necessarily feel welcomed by everyone on the course. I just break. I cry for the rest of the lap and when I make it back to Norm I say I can't do it, let’s just go home. I also say,  “you ruined this for me. Why were just clapping every time I came around and not telling me I was off pace.” We didn't really speak to each other again until Monday afternoon.
 
If you were at the race and you ever felt like I was annoying to you, I am really sorry. I tried to apologize any time I felt like I caused a problem. I know it only means something to me, but this was probably my only chance to run a qualifier for Desert Solstice. All the moving to Colorado and back and being under employed has left us in a big hole financially. But after all that stress, my hamstring feels better than it did before the race.  
 
It wasn’t until Tuesday that my data from my watch uploaded and we were able to see that I only needed to run about a 9min/mile pace to get my DS qualifier. So I should have kept running. Insert big sigh here.
 
So I have been doing a lot of long slow running with very little fast running and what has been fast hasn't really been fast. Charlie wants me to run a few miles a few times a week. I have been running about 70 miles a week. I don't really have the money for plane tickets to Missoula for the marathon, but I really want to go. I decided today to give some actual speed a try. I was happy with how it went. I ran a 3 mile warm up with 3 miles fast, 1 mile off, 2 miles, fast. 1 mile off, 1 mile fast. The plan originally was to string all those miles together, but I got a late start because I had insomnia again last night. It was already 76 degrees when I left here. I was able to hold 6:40 pace so I am pretty happy about that. 
 
After the workout today I decided Missoula is a go. I only have to come up with the money for airfare because the race is covering everything else. I might be buying tickets at the last minute, but oh well. I am working this summer at the Desert Botanical Garden as a summer camp instructor so we aren't going to be totally destitute. But if you have any airline miles you don't know what to do with, I am happy to help you out with that.  
 
As I was typing this blog I got an email from the San Francisco Marathon letting me know that they are giving me elite entry to the marathon. So maybe we can get this OTQ mission back on track. I wish that my hamstring was healing a bit faster than it is, but I am happy to have a reason to be back to training. 

​Monday:
My flight was delayed and didn't leave until after midnight. I fell asleep on the plane a few times, but never stayed asleep so by the time I got home I had been awake for 24 hours. I decided to cancel my 8 am class but Canvas wasn’t working so I had to set an alarm for 5 am to wake up and try to send an email again.  Luckily that worked. I thought I would sleep in until 9 am, but by 7 am I was wide awake. I got up and unpacked my bag. Did some prep work for my class that starts today. No running, so yoga. I never felt like I was totally awake. 
 
I spend my evening trying to pick a place to stay for Lake Sonoma. I finally make a decision and send my Airbnb request.
 
Tuesday:
Norm started my run with me today.
 
I haven't heard back from my Airbnb request but I get an email saying I am invited to book a place that I had been looking at the same time. I decided to cancel the request I sent and book the other place. The house I cancel is closer to the start but I am getting nervous. In the end, we are in a very cute, quirky place with lots of great tree views and only 25 minutes away from the start.
 
 
Wednesday:
Norm and I head out for a run but we don't get far before Norm is stopped in is tracks by a pain in his calf/Achilles. We had made it about a mile and a half and now have to turn around to walk back home.
 
I teach at the college and in between classes I go to iRun to buy a new handheld water bottle.  Hank has chewed all my water bottles so I need a new one now that it is hot out and I don't necessarily want to be wearing my pack. I am shocked to see how much hand held bottles cost. $55 is a little insane if you ask me. 
 
After teaching I go head out for a run. I was minutes from being off the trail and was thinking how happy I was that I hadn't seen a snake when I see a guy standing in the middle of the trail. I look over his shoulder and sees me and then puts his arm out. The international sign for “there is a snake, stop moving” So I did. I ask, “snake?” and he says yes. I walk up and we chat. He tells me I can probably pass as the snake is slithering off, he just likes watching them. I tell him I don't mind waiting. I say that I think the snakes should still be moving slow. He agrees This one seemed to be moving pretty slow. 
 
I make it back home for coffee and a snack and then head to yoga. 

​Thursday:
Up at 5 am and out the door before 6 am. I started on the canal because it's a bit dark out still. I make a turn to spend some time on the trail so that I can get some climbing in. If I want to have a decent day at Lake Sonoma I need to start getting a lot more climbing done. 
 
Taught my class at the college. They are a great class and we have so much fun together. After class Brandi, Ava and I headed to Target. No elementary school this afternoon so I can spend some time just walking around and looking at things. This makes me very happy! 
 
By the time we get home, I am exhausted. That 5 am wake up every day is catching up with me. I decided to indulge in a nap, but I am going to have to get some work done this evening after yoga.
 
I was really in no mood for yoga, but I made myself go. I get there and another regular tells me that she was in no mood but made herself come to class. Glad I am not the only one.

Friday:
I have decided to shift my long run to Friday. I am up at 5 am and have coffee and a small granola bar. Norm wakes up and starts watching HGTV and I get sucked into the end of the show where they show all the changes they made. I leave about 5:50 am. I am about 11 miles into my run when I realize that I forgot to bring food with me.  I make it to 15 miles and move my long run to Saturday. I am starving by the time I get home. I had landed on a rack the wrong way and have a bruise on the bottom of my foot. My pack rubbed my collar bone (which it never does) and I had to use my buff to stop the chaffing so I could finish the run. All in all, not the day I had planned on the trail. 
 
I only have a small amount of time left at the kindergarten but that drive Chandler is about to do me in! I did listen to a really interesting podcast. Barbara Brown Taylor was on Fresh Air a few weeks ago but I just got around to listening to it. You should listen to it. She said one thing that really resonated with me when I think about converting. To paraphrase, she said the why to her own religious choice (Christian) it’s because it is what she knows. That changing religion would be like going back to 1st grade. This is so much how I feel. It’s daunting to convert. It’s overwhelming how much I don't know. 
 
​Saturday:
Norm is working today but the dogs all seem happy so I am able to get out the door by 6 am. I love running early on weekend mornings. It's so quiet out. I get 17 miles done. I did hills first (goal to stay under 9 min. miles) and then a couple of fast miles on the canal. This is one of my favorite workouts. I only did 2 fast miles because My legs are feeling a bit dead this week. Probably a combination of the marathon last week and all the climbing I have done this week.  
 
I was on my way to dreamy draw when a guy stopped me to ask if I was missing a dog. I said no and he tells me he thought he saw 2 dogs fighting but when he got closer he saw it was a coyote attacking a dog. He chased the coyote off. The coyote went up and over the mountain and the dog went around on the trail. The man ran after them and again found the coyote attacking the dog. He chased the coyote off again but the dog wouldn't come to him and ran towards the 51. At this part of the trail there is a fence so the dog will end up on Northern if he keeps going that way.  
 
I was a half a mile from being done when some lady who had plenty of time to see me but still ran through her stop sign pissed me off. After seeing me, coming through her stop sign she then proceeded to quick stop in the crosswalk so I had to stop short. I yelled at her that if she was going to run her stop sign to stay out of the crosswalk and this bitch yells at me, “Fuck you.” So I yell back, “fuck you! I have the right away you stupid bitch!” Sorry, Mark, I was wearing an iRun hat. I am just really tired of people who are in the wrong and then curse at me. A tenth of a mile later we end up stopped at the same red light and they roll up the window.  Good call because I was pissed.  
 
I took the kids to Flower Child for lunch. In the past it was 3 items made a plate and now it is 2 items for $9. That is insanely ridiculous. After we left I said that I wasn’t eating there anymore because that was stupid expensive.  My exact words were, “I am breaking up with Flower Child.” Ava said, “Don't do it! Stay together for the children!” She’s a funny girl. She really loves their gluten-free Pho.
 
Did some grocery shopping, took a nap, had coffee and snack and started to get caught up on Survivor with Norm. It was tough to peel myself away for a 2nd run, but I did it. Just an easy 5 mile run to get used to 2 a days again. I came back, we ate dinner and finished getting caught up on Survivor. It’s my dream to create a Psych class that is a Survivor class. I have done Survivor days where they have to play games to win clues to answer questions and the winners get a basket of snacks to divvy up. It’s so much fun. College students are very motivated by food. Of course, none of them watch Survivor and probably think I am lame for still watching it, but they like playing games and winning things.
 

Sunday:
Norm had to work again, but luckily the dogs seemed content this morning so Iwas off at 5:45 am. It was still a bit dark so stayed off the trails. Just ran what I call baby hills through the neighborhoods to get some “easy” climbing. I was really trying to run easy, but my pace was constantly faster than it should have been. I felt relaxed and easy so well call it an easy run even though it wasn’t technically.
 
Had some coffee, played ball with Pasta and headed to yoga. There is a guy I see every Sunday morning at the same corner. I have given him food before. I am sure he was thrilled to get my raisins, almonds, and peanuts I keep in my bag, but I never have any cash. Two weeks ago we chatted while the light was red. I only had a few dollars. We talked about where he was staying and taking care of himself. After I pulled away today I decided that next week I am going to leave early so I can chat with him. Something about him makes me want to help him. There are so many homeless here and it breaks my heart. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, shelter is a basic need. I can't give money to everyone though. My mom told me that her pastor once said that he gives when he feels called and that resonated with me. It is typically young people that pull at my heartstrings.  I try to buy food and I always ask what they want.  There is just something about this guy. We had such a “normal” conversation. If I can help, I want to do what I can for him. 
 
Yoga was so hard and so hot. After lunch and some reading of my New York Times, I took a nap. I got up and did laundry. If the washer and dryer are free around here, you better take advantage.  
 
I was starving at dinner and ate way too much. But I’ll be starving again in an hour. But I also feel like I might be asleep in an hour. Norm was exhausted from being at work early and I was exhausted from who knows what. So we went to bed early. 

​Monday:
Spring break! Well, it is at the college. I still have to go to the kindergarten this afternoon. I thought I would sleep in, but that didn't happen. But that is probably better because of the 3 hour time difference between here and North Carolina. 
 
I had my coffee and headed off on a run. Just a really nice easy day. Someone needs to do something about the porta potties at Granada. They are so disgusting! Who shits all over a toilet seat and just leaves it? 
 
No one was available to pick up Ava from a friends house so I had to skip yoga.  Not thrilled about this. We stopped at Target to get the stuff to make enchiladas but it was the kind of Target with a small grocery area so didn't have what we needed. We settled on frozen pizzas. 
 
Invited Norm to join me on my easy run tomorrow morning.
 
Tuesday:
Up at 5:30am to cloudy skies and rain. Norm got up not long after me. We left for a run and he made it almost a mile before he had to turn back with stomach issues. He is now on strict orders to keep far away and not touch anything that I also touch. 
 
Easy days are not great for my mental state. Too much time to ruminate about the sad state of affairs that is my life. I came home in not the best mood. Later in the day my friend I am staying with in North Carolina texted to ask how I was feeling about the race. My response was that I was so stressed about money I have barely had time to think about the race.
 
Got 9.5 miles done, mostly because I turned for home without thinking. HaShem was really putting on a show with the sky today. It was so beautiful. I love running on raining days. Not racing because I tend to get hypothermia easy but training is awesome.
 
Since I’m on spring break I was able to go to yoga at 9:30am instead of after the work. I stopped at the grocery store to get the stuff for dinner. FYI- 32ndStreet and Camelback is the best grocery store in town! Large Kosher and gluten free sections!
 
Came home and had time to shower and eat before heading to work. 
 
It was so nice to get home and be able to sit down and relax for a bit. I listened to a podcast about Eschatology with Phil Torres. Now I want to read his book. Made enchiladas and worked on lessons for the college for next week.  Since my plane doesn't land until 1:15am Monday and I teach at 8am I need to have everything ready to go for Monday morning. 
 
I also find out I have a spot at Lake Sonoma. I am super excited about this, but if you have been reading this blog you know that financially things are a bit tricky at the moment. It has been suggested to me a few times over the last few years that I start a Go Fund Me page, but this feels very self indulgent and makes me feel uncomfortable. And to be honest I wouldn't handle people saying snarky things about me very well. I know there would be people who would judge and feel the need to make those judgments known. 
 
Wednesday:
I am so bummed to be on a bit of a taper this week. The weather has been so beautiful and I am on spring break.  I wish I could just run for hours. I come home and start laundry and start packing my bag.
 
I stop by iRun to get a new pair of shoes. Then a stop at Target to get some things we need for the house and most importantly a headphone jack for my stupid phone that does not have a headphone jack. I am sure one of the teenagers took the one that came with my phone.
 
Off to work and then back home. More laundry and packing.  I am struggling with yoga or not? I want to go, but I don't want to get home at 7:30pm. I want to go, but I still need to pack. I want to go, but I don't want to drive across town. I want to go, but I don't want to have to stop and put gas in my car. 
 
Somehow I managed to motivate myself to get to yoga. It wasn’t my best practice ever, but I was there. I get home with a lot to do, needing a shower and starving hungry. Norm tells me that the watchband I ordered doesn’t fit my watch. My reaction may have been a little over the top, but I blame it on my stress level. 
 
I eat, shower, and finish packing. I look up my shipping options for a Suunto watch band and see that I can get one overnighted. But I have to wait until the morning because Yael is asleep and I don't have her address. 

​Thursday:
That 3:45am alarm was no fun. Coffee, get dressed, throw the last few things in the bag. I order a new watchband and pay a bill and we are off to the airport. I am a little surprised how busy the airport is this early in the morning. I go through security and get a coffee and bagel. There were not a lot of options for breakfast. I only eat half of the bagel.
 
The flight attendants on Frontier Airlines could stand to take a master class from the Southwest flight attendants. I got some assignment planning done on the plane. 
 
Uneventful flight. Thank Gd. Waiting for Yael I was eating the rest of my bagel. I was tearing the bagel in half and half of it goes flying out of my hand and onto the ground. I had 2 clementines in my purse and ate those with the remaining quarter of a bagel. 
 
Yael teaches yoga ta 5:15pm and I go with her to take her class.  We grab dinner from Whole Foods. I had avocado sushi, half a sweet potato and 2 pieces of grilled pineapple. I drive her car back to her house. She has to stay to lead teacher training. I take Pixie out to pee, pour myself a big glass of wine and facetime my family.
 

​Friday:
I thought I would be up early without setting my alarm. Wrong! I didn't wake up until 7am. I finally pulled myself out of bed at 7:20am for some coffee. 
 
I wasn’t really sure where to head for my run. Luckily sidewalks are everywhere here. I just headed out on a straight route so I wouldn't get lost. Sometimes the sidewalks just end and would have to cross the road. The weather was beautiful! Low 60’s and cloudy with a nice breeze. 
 
We had the yummiest food for lunch. We went to Sassool for lunch. I have to find a place like this back home. Tons of vegan and GF options. The place was packed so you know it’s good.
 
Yael and I did a Target run. She has the best Target I have ever been to and I am very jealous. I had some down time to read. I am reading a book called Why Buddhism is True by Robert Wright. He is an evolutionary psychologist and I am using his book in the psychology classes I teach, but I am really enjoying the book.
 
My watchband came in the mail. There are no screws, it’s held together with a tension pin. I watched a video and then called Norm. How the hell am I meant to get this off? In the end I got a kitchen knife out. The first part of the band was surprisingly easy. The second part took a little more work than I was prepared for, but in the end I was successful. I am so happy to have a working watchband again. And I love the blue color. 
 
We made a Starbucks run and then dropped the kids to swim before heading to the expo. After a little confusion on my part about where to pick up my bib number (the elite numbers were a bit hidden in a back corner). I walk up and tell them my name and after checking a list the guy says, “did you register …” trailing off. Panic strikes. Did I come all this way and they forgot? But quickly he says, “oh here you are.” I get my bib number, my shirt and my parking pass and I am on my way. 
 
Yael digs out some tea lights so we can light Shabbos candles. Later we went to a Thai restaurant with lots of gluten free options. The Apex/Cary gluten free game is strong. 

​Saturday:
 
I set an alarm so I could get up to run with Yael. She and Pixie (her dog) joined me for the first half of my run. Yael took me to downtown Apex and on a wonderful paved path that ran in between neighborhoods. It’s wooded and there is a lovely little creek. After Yael went back home I headed back out on the path and made a big loop back to the house for 8 miles. I could have run for so long because the morning was perfect for running. 
 
I had oatmeal with a little maple syrup and walnuts for breakfast. I hang out in bed and listen to podcasts while playing games on my phone. I talk to Norm for a few minutes. After lunch I feel sleepy and take a small nap. I always find it funny that the day before race I feel sleepy even though I haven't really done anything. 
 
I get up and listen to some more podcasts. I think about a half mile walk to coffee shop but decide against it. When Yael is home from work we go to Target to get pizza for dinner. And some dairy free ice cream. 
 
I make my pizza and have some wine. I head to bed pretty early (after my ice cream of course).

​Sunday:
The alarm goes off at 5am.  Ugh. I had a small headache all night. And it’s cold.  I get up and what do I discover? Yep, I started my period. Unbelievable! I go get coffee and wait for Yael to come downstairs so I can ask for a tampon. Now I am stressed out. I never run well the day I start my period. I have even walked off a race course because I feel so terrible. If you have been reading this blog for any amount of time than you know I get headaches and stomach aches and have zero energy the first day of my period. After I get some tampons I go back to bed and sit under the covers while I finish my coffee. At 5:30am I start getting dressed and eat a granola bar. We leave the house on time at 6am. I had been told that because I had a parking pass there was no reason to get there early. But the start was a lot farther from parking than I expected. I also had to wait in a really long line to go to the bathroom. I text Yael and tell her to bring my stuff and meet me at the bathrooms.  By the time I get finished they are filing everyone into the start chute and there is no time to warm up. My warm is basically me jumping and down and bending over to touch my toes. 
 
I guess it worked okay because I had not trouble going fast at the start. It’s a little crowded with the half and the full starting together, but it only lasts a couple miles before we take a right turn and they take a left. It is a beautiful paved path lined with large trees. Unfortunately those beautiful trees were completely messing up my Suunto. My pace was constantly bouncing from 7:40 to 5:50 pace and I knew that neither of those was true. Every time there was a clearing in the trees I would get a chance to see my actual pace. My goal was to run 6:30 pace through the half and then let myself assess the situation and slow down if necessary. I had a pack of guys that helped me out a lot, especially since I suck at pacing and my watch was basically useless. I fell off a bit at 13 and 14, but picked it back up for 15 and 16. From they pace went up and down for a few miles due to so long gradual climbs and nice fast down hills. I had to stop to poop at about mile 16 and I lost one of gels so after taking one at mile 8 I didn't have another until about mile 18. It was longer than I wanted and I was feeling hungry by the time I took it. That’s not good. I spent some time running with a guy who was way too happy and pacing someone to a sub 3 marathon (the person he was pacing wasn’t happy at all). The pacer call out, “a 10K left!” and I yell out, “I hate 10K’s!” This made him laugh and we chatted a bit.  The last 4 miles I just felt like I had zero energy. I knew if I could pick it up to 7 minute miles I could still run a sub 3 hour marathon, but I just couldn't do it. I can’t tell you how bad I wanted to walk. My legs were dead. I tried to make a big push coming into the last half mile. It was tricky with walking half marathonerss spread out. I am not complaining and criticizing, good for them! It just made things crowded and hard to navigate. But I ran out of steam and ended up finishing in 3:01. That sounds so slow. I like the sound of I ran a marathon at a 6:51 average pace better.
 
The whole race I knew I was 2nd female. It’s out and back so that makes that easy to watch and also everyone kept telling me. With about 4 miles left a girl passed me. Super nice and really trying to encourage me to go with her. I finally said, “it’s okay, I have a 50 mile race in a month I am happy with what I am doing now.” Okay she replied and took off. When I finished there was a guy at standing there taking official times that confirmed I was 3rdfemale. But when it was time for awards they called someone else’s name for the 3rdfemale and I was given the award for 1stmaster’s. I was confused and Yael and I talked about what to do. I was sure I was 3rdand so was Yael, but what if I wasn’t? I didn't want to cause a scene and I wasn’t sure what to say or what to do. There is a prize purse difference but I didn't want to seem greedy. So we left. But we kept talking about it.  And when we looked at the results the girl they awarded 3rdplace to only had a split for the 18 mile mark and no others. Yael has a friend on the board and she texted her to ask what I should do. She responded immediately that I should email the race and provided an email address. So I emailed and explained what I thought and why and included the part about the splits. The replied to let me know that timing would look into it. I quickly heard back that it appears she only ran the half and the results would be amended to reflect that I was 3rdfemale.  And they were, really quickly. I don't think this girl was trying to cheat. I think she signed up for the full and either changed her mind and decided to run the half or signed up for the full because the half filled up but never really intended to run the full. Yael said the half fills up quickly every year and it isn't uncommon for people to register for the full but really they just want to run the half. 
 
Okay, back to post race. We went home to shower. Then we had lunch at a BBQ joint, my suggestion. I mean, I can't come to the South and not eat BBQ! We took Pixie downtown and walked around. Pixie poops in someones yard and we don't have any bags. I pull receipts out of my purse to pick up poop and drop it in the paper shopping bag we had from buying Yael’s daughter some shoes. We got a glass of wine, which I clearly deserved. Then we went to CoreRestore at Core Power. A little dinner and another glass of wine at Whole Foods before Yael dropped me at the airport. My flight doesn't leave until 11:16pm, but I didn’t want her to have to bring me that late so I told her to just drop me and I would keep myself busy. The Raleigh airport is dead at 9pm on a Sunday night.
 
I feel really good. Not sore at all. Which probably means I didn't run as hard as I could. I think those slow miles at the end where due to a lack of energy that probably came from a lack of calories. 
 
If you are wondering about the Tobacco Road marathon, I definitely recommend it. The full didn't seem any where near as crowded as the half. The water stations are plentiful. The course is beautiful if you pay attention to that sort of thing. They say the last 10K is downhill, I dispute that claim. And there was a long gradual uphill that was amazing when you ran down it but not when you ran up in the last 5 or so miles of the race. You definitely want to buy the parking pass. Apex and Cary are great cities! Very walkable. Lots of nice places for running. I am already planning to come back next year. If you are looking for a small marathon, I definitely recommend this one.  

Monday:
This 8am psych class I am teaching is bumming me out. It happens every semester. I always have one class that has terrible energy. The whole vibe is “couldn't care less”. Makes it really hard to teach. And for those of you thinking that the problem is that the class is at 8am, you are wrong. I have had plenty of 8 am classes that were amazing. 
 
Came home from teaching and headed out on my run. Decided that it was warm off to run without a shirt and let my pale body parts get some sun. Poured water into my handheld and it leaked everywhere. Hank must have gotten a hold if it. So I put on shirt and grabbed my vest.  This would come in handy when I fall 5 miles into my run and hand starts bleeding like someone cut my hand off. The side of my knee was just skinned but there is so much blood coming from my hand. It’s all over my leg, my shorts. I take my shirt off and wrap it around my hand to try to get the blood to stop flowing. After a few minutes it works. I pour some water on my hand to find that it is the smallest cut. Ridiculous! I was expecting a huge gapping wound.  My hand hurts, my knee hurts, but I decided to finish the last 5 miles of the run.
 

​Tuesday:
It's a Tuesday miracle! It's speed work day and there weren't ridiculously strong winds blowing. Norm decided to run my warm up with me. Which was nice but also meant I ran 2 miles really slow and then had to go into some really fast running. 
 
Today the speed work was one mile at 6:30 pace followed by 4 times 5:50 pace for half a mile with half a mile rest and one last 6:30 mile. Holding that 5:50 pace is not as easy as I would like it to be. The last 2 of the 4  I ended up falling to a 6 min mile for the last tenth of a mile or so.  
 
Norm and I discussed the race and decided that I would buy the tickets today. Except when I set down to buy my tickets I got a nasty surprise. Flying Frontier wasn’t going to be about $200. By the time I added on paying for a seat and having a carry on it was closer to $400. That I definitely cannot afford. Norm told me to go ahead and book the ticket and we would figure it out, but what if we don't? I just don't want to keep stressing about money. We decide to talk about it more later, but I don’t change my mind. Basically I am hoping that my child support check will come in time for me to be able to buy plane tickets.  
 
I decide that since I am probably not going to North Carolina I will go to Flagstaff this weekend to run SP Crater. It’s inexpensive and a close drive. Except it’s sold out.  I am just feeling a little down about not having a race on the schedule. 
 
I went to yoga and that was ridiculous. My hand still hurts so much from the fall. I couldn’t put any weight on my hand. 
 
Wednesday:
I usually run after I teach but I have to take Sinjin to the orthodontist. The plan is to run after work, but that doesn't usually go as planned. I am thinking if I can find a place to go run after work and not come home that might help so that I don't get pulled into all the “stuff”. But also I really need to run errands. Getting paid on a Tuesday throws everything off. I can’t do shopping over the weekend because I am waiting for my paycheck. 
 
As I predicted, I did not run in the afternoon. I came home feeling tired, unmotivated and annoyed that the kitchen was a mess. I had coffee, went to the grocery store to get the stuff to make a salad and came home to wash dishes. 
 
I went to bed around 7pm. 
 
Thursday:
My body seems to be adjusting to the 5:30am wake up pretty easily. I was up before my alarm went off. I had coffee and was out the door by 6:15am. Too bad I was not feeling like I being speedy. It’s weird how some days speed work feels so easy and few days later it can feel like you never ran fast a day in you life. In the middle of my speed work I had to make an emergency stop at Granada to use a porta potty.  The toilet in the porta potty is so high up that my feet don't reach the floor. They just dangle there. I don’t like it. 
 
In the end it was 6 miles of progressively faster by small increments. I finished with 11 miles. 
 
I really like my Tuesday Thursday class. The class has good energy. But I am feeling so tired. I had planned to go home and do a weight work out but I am exhausted.  I am actually considering skipping yoga this afternoon because I feel like I have no energy.  (I did skip yoga but that was because Norm finished work really early and I went home to hang out with him.)
 
I caved today and asked my mom to help me with the airfare to my race. I just need a loan for a week or so and she was happy to help. (I mean she didn't say she was happy but I am assuming.) Good news that I am going to my race, bad news that I feel totally unprepared because I have been trying to prepare myself to not being able to race any more. It’s just the same every year, the question of how to afford this?
 
So, time to try to start feeling like an athlete again.
 
Friday:
I should have eaten before I left for my run because I ended up feeling really hungry. I ran 12 miles and headed home. It was nice to run super easy and not think about time.  Eat breakfast, got some grocery shopping done and headed to work with the kinders.
 
I thought about going to yoga in the afternoon but I had a headache all afternoon that wouldn't go away so I skipped it. 

The child support clearing house is holding 3 checks and I haven't received child support since January. This is the second time someone at Maricopa County told me they would send an email to try to get one of checks released immediately. Fingers crossed. This person also explained that it isn't a 10 day hold but a 12 day hold on my checks from now on beaus they hold the check for 10 business days and then they release the hold and it takes 2 days to process and deposit into my account. So now my checks will come around the 20th of the month instead of the 6th. 
 
Saturday:
Norm left at 3:45am to go work at the Mesquite Canyon. I woke to say good-bye and went back to sleep. I was up around 5:45am and alternated between wanting to get up and wanting to go back to sleep. I ended up getting up, but taking my time to get out the door. 
 
I ran 10 miles and had another stomach issue on the canal. I have to figure out what is causing this before my race next weekend. Stomach issues during a marathon have been a problem for me in the past so I am not thrilled that I am having trouble on easy training runs. 
 
I came home and did dishes before going to yoga. I gave the dogs a bath and after clean house.  You know it's taper time if I am cleaning house. If I am not out running for hours I can't deal with this house. House cleaning is always at the very bottom of my list and no one else seems interested in doing something about it so it can get a bit yucky around here. 
 
I spent some time working on getting my next class at the community college set up and doing laundry while listening to podcasts. 
 
Norm and I talk about my race strategy for Tobacco Road. The goal is just to run a sub 3 marathon. I tell Norm that the problem is that I struggle with going with what feels comfortable and going for it. Norm asks me how I end up feeling when I go for it. “I feel great when it works out!” I tell him.  He just laughs at me. 
 
In the evening I was surprised to get a really nice text message from someone offering to loan me the money for airfare to my race. Such a kind gesture, I was really touched.
 
Sunday:
I don't normally run speed work on a Sunday but I wanted to add another workout to the schedule before the race next weekend. My plan was to run 6 miles at 6:50 pace. A nice “easy fast” pace to just keep my legs use to running fast. I have talked about this before but I have learned over time that a big taper does not work for me. If I take my mileage down too much and if I take out the speed for too long I end up feeling like a slug on race day. In the end my run turned out to be a progression run. I wasn’t trying but I kept getting faster with no change in perceived effort. I guess that is good news.
 
I came home to eat and head off to yoga.
 
I have been thinking about this dog Bisbee at the shelter in Sedona and was planning to go get him this afternoon, but talked myself out of it on my run. But talked myself into it during yoga. I get home and Brandi and I discuss it while I eat lunch. We decided to go check him out and take Pasta to meet him. 
 
He is a beautiful dog! But he does not like other dogs and needs to be an only dog. We did get to meet him and he is a sweetie. Please go get him!  Pasta was very nervous at the shelter. Poor girl. This is the shelter where I got here so maybe she was having some bad memories. But the staff were so happy to see here and see how happy she is. They loved hearing the stories of our adventures and how much we love her. I mean, she is my soul mate.
 
We got some food for Brandi and coffee for both of us and headed back to Phoenix. I was really happy that the traffic wasn’t bad. That drive home on the 17 can be brutal.

​Monday:
In case you missed it last week, I am so excited to report that I have elite entry to the Tobacco Road Marathon!  I am super excited about the race but also super nervous. Between the ankle and the what we are now assuming was the flu and maybe bronchitis I am just unsure how it will go.  It will be so fun to stay with my friend Yael.
 
No running today as I work on getting the ankle better but I did go to yoga at noon and got a weight workout done. 
 
Tuesday:
My alarm went off at 5:30 am and I turned it off. My alarm went off at 6am and I turned it off. At 6:30am I finally got out of bed. I had a cup of coffee and decided to get myself out the door for a run. I knew I was going o be cutting it close, but I also knew I would feel better if I got my run done this morning instead of waiting. I get my watch off the charger and the screen is totally blank. When I put it on the charger it was 50 percent charged and now it’s dead? This watch is really starting to get on my nerves. I don't need it except to know what time it is so I can get back to get ready for work. I am low on time and not sure what pace I am going to run so this is a little dicey. I run 5 miles with no pain in my ankle. I have 20 minutes to get ready when I get home. Plenty of time.  I did end up running a bit late so I threw some fruit and Kind bar in my bag for lunch. I get out the door only to find my car is covered in a sheet of ice. WTF? I turn on the defrost and Norm comes to scrape ice of windshield. Then there is an accident a few blocks form my house on Central that slows traffic down. Luckily I managed to only be about 5 minutes late. 
 
My ankle didn't hurt during my run, but it does feel a bit sore off and on the rest of the day. 
 
 
Wednesday:
Charlie told me to only run every other day so I am not running today. I was planning to go to yoga, but wasn’t feeling great when I got home so decided to rest. Whatever sickness I had is a stage 5 clinger and doesn't seem to want to go away. I am still taking cold medicine most nights to help dry up all the gunk and get some sleep. Coughing all night is not super restful. 
 
Thursday:
It’s a running day. I was pretty much alone. It’s cold and rainy out. But I think it’s perfect. I actually love running in a light rain. 6 miles done no problem and I even ran a bit faster today without much issue, unless I stop. Every time I stop I end up having  a coughing fit. 
 
Friday:
No running, no yoga. 
 
Saturday:
I wanted to run 15 miles, but only made it 10 because of my ankle. Because I was running pretty early on a Saturday morning I took roads that I wouldn’t normally take. By the time I got to Granada at mile 6 my ankle was hurting a little. I didn't want to make it worse so I headed home on the canal. My ankle felt better running on the packed dirt of the canal so I am thinking that the hard surface of the road was the problem. (Charlie later tells me that this isn't likely.) I ran 6 miles twice during the week with no problems so why would it bother me today? I did get a good weight session in so I feel okay about the day, but I am anxious to get back to training. Chest was hurting when I started, but I felt better after a bit. But I was still getting the coughing fits when I stop running. 
 
Sunday:
It’s a no running day, but I did go to yoga. A girl I have seen a class a handful of times put her mat next to me. She kept tying to make conversation. I just wasn’t in the mood. But she kept at it.  Right before class started she said. “ I have seen you here before and you look so strong. Do you think I could ever be strong like you?” I really only had time to say yes, of course you can before class started. 
 
After class I stop her and tell her I was thinking about what she said during class. We talk about defining strength for yourself and taking small steps. We talk about doing things that scare you.  We talked about being a strong woman as a role model for our children. We had a really great talk. And when she was leaving she called out from across the studio, “goodbye friend.” I feel bad for being an ass and I am glad that she kept trying to talk to me. 
 
I also can't remember working that hard in a yoga class! If someone tells you that you look strong right before class starts you can't really phone it in after that. 
 
 
Monday:
Last day teaching all day! The plan was to come home from like 4pm to 5pm and then go to yoga at 6pm. But I didn't. I just had zero motivation and I could not talk myself into it.  I think not having a race plan is leaving me a bit unfocused. Yes, I have a marathon in 3 weeks, but skipping this one day isn't going to make a difference and there isn't much I can do in 3 weeks that is going to make a huge difference. It feels like the training is done and now I just have to keep steady and cruise into race day. With being sick and having a hurt ankle my mileage is pretty low so if I run 8 miles this week, it will be huge. Like said, it was hard to convince myself that I shouldn’t miss this one day. If I don't even want to go to yoga I figure that maybe I should listen to my body and rest. I want to train hard, but I also want to avoid burn out so maybe laying in bed with my dog and watching Broadchurch is an okay thing to do today.
 
 
Tuesday:
Of course I started my period. The exhaustion and lack of motivation should have been a clue. I started teaching a new class at the community college today. It’s a hybrid class, so part online and part in person. I like teaching at 9:30 because I can get in a run before work.  I left at 6:30 and got 10 miles done with plenty of time to have coffee and get dressed for work. I tried to run a speed work but my lungs were having none of it. 4 miles in to the fast running I was wheezing pretty bad. But my ankle felt great. I did have to eat breakfast in the car on the way to work.
 
After class I came home and get a weight workout done, changed into work clothes and ate lunch in the car on the way to the kindergarten. After work, headed to yoga. Ate a Larabar in the car on the way to yoga.  There seems to be a pattern developing here.
 
Wednesday:
I wanted to get some miles done on the trail before I go to see Charlie. I ran 6 easy miles on the trail. No ankle pain. I could feel it sometimes, but wondered if I was imagining it.
 
Charlie checked out my ankle.  He did a little work on it and gave me some exercises to do. I learned that your big toe should move independently. Who knew? It also practically requires Jedi mind tricks to get mine to move independently so I have to practice that. 
 
Thursday:
Speed work went a lot better today. I gave myself a nice long warm up before staring my progression run. I also let my start an easy fast pace. I really wanted to get under a 6 min mile for the last mile, but I missed it. That was hard! 
 
Off to the college. I really like this class. They have good energy. I only have one kid that’s a problem. On Tuesday he texted through my whole class. Today he came in and left one ear bud in and was watching something on his phone the whole time. I hate having to deal with this kind of crap. I don't make my students put there phones away because I have a lot of students with kids and I honestly I don't mind if you need to shoot off a quick message to someone. But it really bugs me if you aren't paying attention at all. And what’s worse is it is almost always the student athletes that are the problem. As an athlete this really makes me mad. These kids don't do their part in the classroom and then want me to give them a good report on their check in sheets that go to the coaches. 

​Friday:
I wanted to run 15 miles but I got 13 done and loved every minute of. I was getting super hungry so decided to turn back to home a little early.  
 
This was the end of my good day. Back in January there was an issue with my child support check. It went in and then was taken out a day later, which made my account go negative before it was put back in the next day. Neither my ex nor I ever really understood what happened. In February my child supported never deposited and that isn't like my ex so I asked him about. He said he paid so I just thought it would eventually deposit. Except it didn't. I called last Friday to find out what was going on and was told that because the check for January had bounced they were holding the check to settle what he owed for the clearinghouse allowing the support to go through. Okay fine, but would have been nice for someone to tell us. My ex made a second payment last Friday so that I would get a February payment and apologized for the inconvenience. No big deal. But I still don't have my child support so I called after work. They now have 2 payments for February and are holding both. The clearinghouse will now be holding my payments for approximately10 days for the next 2 years because of that one bounced check. No one can tell me when I will be getting my check for February and this means my March check will becoming well into the month of March and not any day now. So I am down a very large amount of money at this point, meaning there is no way I can afford to buy plane tickets to my race in North Carolina. I just spend the rest of the night in my room crying. Not just because I can’t go to my race but also because I am behind on bills and I can't even tell people when I will have money to pay them. Let me be clear, this is not a negative comment on my ex. He was really kind and apologetic and it was all an accident on his part. I am pissed about the system. The clearinghouse is meant to help people and I am just getting screwed. I am hate being under so much stress about money. 
 
Saturday:
Norm did his once a month training run and we got 6.5 miles done.  I didn't bother to run any more miles because I feel like what is the point? I don't have any races on my schedule. I’m feeling pretty depressed at this point. I worked so hard to get ready for Desert Solstice despite all the crap that was going and that day was a disaster. I trained so hard for Black Canyon and had to miss it because I was so sick.  Now I am going to miss a race I was looking forward to because the clearinghouse is holding my checks. 
 
We decided to go to the Sunnyslope Food Crawl with Brandi and Enzo. We stopped at our favorite local restaurant and got an appetizer to share. Even though we skaed about our food 3 times, in 30 minutes we still hadn't gotten out chips and queso dip. We asked for out money back and left. At the next restaurant we waited and waited and waited and no one came to seta us. The next place had an a hour and a half wait.  We went back to the place were we couldn't get seated and found out the $5 plate wasn’t anything we wanted, We still never saw a hostess.  We stopped at the bakery and got the last $5 plate and went to Little Caesar’s to get pizza to take home. So much for cheering me up. 

​Sunday:
I get up early and enjoy the beautiful morning and head to yoga.  I spent the afternoon catching up on podcasts and reading the New York Times. I only cried a little bit today. 

​Monday:
On Sunday night I went to bed at 6:30pm really sick. On Monday I woke up really sick. I barely have a voice, I have a cough and chest pain and the worst sore throat ever. 
 
I teach my class and teach two classes for my boss at the community college. This does not help my throat or my voice. In between classes I check on Maui and the kids tell me she isn’t eating or able to get up by herself. I tell them to make an appointment with the vet. They let me know the vet is coming at 3pm.
 
I stop to get a bite to eat before going to the kindergarten. I also get hot tea and it feels so good on my throat that I wish I could just have a steady stream of almost scolding water on my throat. I ate my sandwich and almost immediately have the worst stomach pains. I spend a lot of time sitting in a tiny chair in my classroom curled into a ball and trying not to cry because my stomach hurts so badly. 
 
My boss comes to relieve me early so that I go home for the vet visit. It’s not a surprise that they suggest the best thing is to put Maui down. I knew this. You could see she had lost the spark in her eye the last few days. 
 
Maui was a really good dog. She was always protective of the kids. She was always well behaved. She always happy and fun. She just always brought the kids joy and comfort. Enzo picked her out when he was 3 years old. For a big dog, she has had a nice long life. 
 
I went to bed early again.

Tuesday:
I was up a few times, but basically slept for 12 and a half hours. My throat isn't as sore, but I have no voice. Still have the snot and chest pain and cough. I also now have a headache. And my ankle is still swollen. 
 
I text Charlie about my ankle still being swollen.  He asks if it hurts to run. I have no idea. I am so sick I am barely walking, much less running.
 
Hayley texts me to ask how I am doing. I am okay about Maui. I am panicked about Saturday. Not to whine about money again, but I don’t get to race big races very often. This one happens to be in my backyard and an Aravaipa race. This makes it very affordable. It will also be my only chance to try to win a golden ticket to Western States.  The last two remaining races were lottery and are sold out. Right now it seems like the odds of being 100 percent at race day are not good. I am preparing myself for not running on Saturday. I am hoping for a miracle, but I need to be realistic. I haven’t had wine or gone to yoga since Saturday. This is how you know I am really freaking sick. 
 
Wednesday:
Going from running 10 or more miles a day along with yoga to doing nothing has left me feeling like a hippo.  
 
I didn't sleep great. I was up coughing off and on all night. Happily I had already planned to show a documentary to my Psych class so I didn't have to talk because I still have no voice. 
 
I came home to give running a try and see what happens with my lungs and my ankle. My lungs weren’t great, but it seems like I could run as long as I am not pushing the pace. Of course that isn't really great for racing. But I didn't get to find out how my lungs would hold up because my ankle started hurting about a half mile into the run. It was actually hurting pretty much right away, but not bad. The more intense pain developed about a half mile in.  I kept trying to decide if the pain was bad or if I was imaging it bad because I am stressed about my ankle hurting. It’s still swollen. I turn around and come back home. 
 
I feel like I could probably tape my ankle and take some ibuprofen and run at Black Canyon. But if I am still coughing and have no voice and my chest is hurting, it doesn't seem like a smart idea to race. 
 
Here it is the end of the day Wednesday and I am feeling tired. Still no voice. Still coughing with chest pain. And my ankle hurts just walking. Not bad pain, just feels sore. This morning I cried a little bit in the bathroom at work thinking about missing this race, but I am trying to make peace with the fact that I am not running Black Canyon. I keep thinking, “all this work down the drain.” And I have to remind myself that I wasn't training for just this one race, that I can still use this training for other races, but with no races really on the horizon I don't have anything to shift my focus to.
 
Thursday:
Nothing has changed. I am still coughing all the time and I have no voice. I am not sleeping well because I wake up coughing.
 
Friday:
I might be a smidge better, but not super noticeable. Every now and then I will go without coughing for a bit and think “can I run tomorrow?” But that’s a ridiculous idea. Even if I thought I felt a little better, I am not sure I have the right mindset since I have been trying to prepare myself all week for not running on Saturday. 
 
I don't have to work today. There was a training, but I had already taken the day off so I decide to use the day to rest and hopefully encourage my body to get better already.  
 
Today is a big day at our house because Norm has been sober for 12 years today. I can’t even say how proud I am of him. He’s such an amazing person and I am so lucky to have him as my husband and best friend. If he hadn't taken the steps to change his life before I met him, we never would have met. Like all relationships we have our ups and downs, but truly there isn’t a nicer guy. If you know Norm, you know this is true. Even when we aren’t getting along so well things the relationship is still pretty nice. We just separate a bit and do our thing and try to come to a resolution. It’s never a confrontational or angry situation, just matter of the fact, here where are now situation. Don't get me wrong, we have had a few good fights but I he’s so damn nice I usually feel like I kicked a puppy and apologize. We make him spaghetti and meatballs for dinner because it’s his favorite. 
 
 
Saturday:
Slept in nice and late. I had taken cold medicine on Friday night so I slept pretty well. I got up, listened to a podcast, did some dishes and decided to go for a run. 
 
I leave the house and about a tenth of a mile I get stopped at a light. A homeless guy (I’m assuming) asks me how far I am going to run. “Not too far,” I answer. He just walks on. Maybe he was going to join me, but was looking for a long run? 
 
I get going and I am feeling great. I am running a 8 min/mi pace and I am thinking I was dumb for not racing. And then a half mile in I get a terrible side cramp and have to slow to a 9min/mi pace.  It was like a reverse progression run, I just got slower and slower.  I felt like I was barely moving and my chest hurt a bit, my upper back hurt a bit and I felt like I wasn’t getting much air. I left my house thinking I would run 8 to 10 miles. Once I got going I wanted to turn around at 4 but convinced myself to try for 6 miles. I ran 6 miles, but it wasn’t pretty. I didn't cough much while I was running, but when I stopped there was a lot of coughing. My ankle started hurting a bit at mile 3, but it was never too bad. 
 
I came home and had some lunch and then decided to do weights. I might as well get a weight workout in before I do round 2 of the dishes.
 
I am feeling a bit better this afternoon. I spend that time looking at marathons. I am trying to find a race where I can run attempt a sub 3 marathon. I need a measure of where I am at right now. I see a few possibilities. I zero in on Tobacco Road marathon. I have a friend that lives in Cary, NC and I can fly on Frontier airlines for pretty cheap. I apply for elite entry and cross my fingers.
 
Sunday:
Enjoying another lazy day while I can. I am going back to yoga today and if the people in class are upset by my coughing well… too bad. Not working out is killing me!
 
I was up early enough to get a run in before yoga so I decided to head out. It was about 39 degrees and the canal was pretty much empty. It was just me a few of diehard old guys. I kept it nice and easy and was happy to see that I ran a little faster than yesterday. 
 
I went to yoga and at first it seemed like it was going to be a disaster. I could not stop coughing. And of course today class wasn’t very crowded and everyone was so quiet. But once class started I was coughing a lot less.  I apologized to the people on both sides of me after class and luckily they both were super nice and supportive. I mean, I don't think I am contagious at this point. 
 
I text Charlie and let him know that my ankle was better today. It hurt a little at the start of my run, but just for a short amount of time and then it was fine as long as I run on a path that isn't uneven. He tells me to run every other day. Normally I would find this upsetting but I am teaching all day next week because the Hebrew teacher is out. This means I will be running in the dark, which also means that I will be sticking to the roads. 
 
Monday:
I usually just write for one week, but I thought it might be nice to end on a positive note. I am so excited to report that I have elite entry to the Tobacco Road Marathon!  I am super excited about the race and also super nervous because it’s a month a way. It will be so fun to see Yael. And so scary to run a marathon again!  I let Charlie know that I am registered for this race and we need to get this ankle mended ASAP! 
 
Today is my day off from running so I will go to yoga at noon and come home for a weight workout.  I need to get a ton of work done because I spent all week listening to podcasts and watching Broadchurch.