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Kristina PHAM
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Should I stay or should I go?

3/11/2019

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Monday:
This 8am psych class I am teaching is bumming me out. It happens every semester. I always have one class that has terrible energy. The whole vibe is “couldn't care less”. Makes it really hard to teach. And for those of you thinking that the problem is that the class is at 8am, you are wrong. I have had plenty of 8 am classes that were amazing. 
 
Came home from teaching and headed out on my run. Decided that it was warm off to run without a shirt and let my pale body parts get some sun. Poured water into my handheld and it leaked everywhere. Hank must have gotten a hold if it. So I put on shirt and grabbed my vest.  This would come in handy when I fall 5 miles into my run and hand starts bleeding like someone cut my hand off. The side of my knee was just skinned but there is so much blood coming from my hand. It’s all over my leg, my shorts. I take my shirt off and wrap it around my hand to try to get the blood to stop flowing. After a few minutes it works. I pour some water on my hand to find that it is the smallest cut. Ridiculous! I was expecting a huge gapping wound.  My hand hurts, my knee hurts, but I decided to finish the last 5 miles of the run.
 
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This little cut bled so much that thought I had a huge split in my hand.
​Tuesday:
It's a Tuesday miracle! It's speed work day and there weren't ridiculously strong winds blowing. Norm decided to run my warm up with me. Which was nice but also meant I ran 2 miles really slow and then had to go into some really fast running. 
 
Today the speed work was one mile at 6:30 pace followed by 4 times 5:50 pace for half a mile with half a mile rest and one last 6:30 mile. Holding that 5:50 pace is not as easy as I would like it to be. The last 2 of the 4  I ended up falling to a 6 min mile for the last tenth of a mile or so.  
 
Norm and I discussed the race and decided that I would buy the tickets today. Except when I set down to buy my tickets I got a nasty surprise. Flying Frontier wasn’t going to be about $200. By the time I added on paying for a seat and having a carry on it was closer to $400. That I definitely cannot afford. Norm told me to go ahead and book the ticket and we would figure it out, but what if we don't? I just don't want to keep stressing about money. We decide to talk about it more later, but I don’t change my mind. Basically I am hoping that my child support check will come in time for me to be able to buy plane tickets.  
 
I decide that since I am probably not going to North Carolina I will go to Flagstaff this weekend to run SP Crater. It’s inexpensive and a close drive. Except it’s sold out.  I am just feeling a little down about not having a race on the schedule. 
 
I went to yoga and that was ridiculous. My hand still hurts so much from the fall. I couldn’t put any weight on my hand. 
 
Wednesday:
I usually run after I teach but I have to take Sinjin to the orthodontist. The plan is to run after work, but that doesn't usually go as planned. I am thinking if I can find a place to go run after work and not come home that might help so that I don't get pulled into all the “stuff”. But also I really need to run errands. Getting paid on a Tuesday throws everything off. I can’t do shopping over the weekend because I am waiting for my paycheck. 
 
As I predicted, I did not run in the afternoon. I came home feeling tired, unmotivated and annoyed that the kitchen was a mess. I had coffee, went to the grocery store to get the stuff to make a salad and came home to wash dishes. 
 
I went to bed around 7pm. 
 
Thursday:
My body seems to be adjusting to the 5:30am wake up pretty easily. I was up before my alarm went off. I had coffee and was out the door by 6:15am. Too bad I was not feeling like I being speedy. It’s weird how some days speed work feels so easy and few days later it can feel like you never ran fast a day in you life. In the middle of my speed work I had to make an emergency stop at Granada to use a porta potty.  The toilet in the porta potty is so high up that my feet don't reach the floor. They just dangle there. I don’t like it. 
 
In the end it was 6 miles of progressively faster by small increments. I finished with 11 miles. 
 
I really like my Tuesday Thursday class. The class has good energy. But I am feeling so tired. I had planned to go home and do a weight work out but I am exhausted.  I am actually considering skipping yoga this afternoon because I feel like I have no energy.  (I did skip yoga but that was because Norm finished work really early and I went home to hang out with him.)
 
I caved today and asked my mom to help me with the airfare to my race. I just need a loan for a week or so and she was happy to help. (I mean she didn't say she was happy but I am assuming.) Good news that I am going to my race, bad news that I feel totally unprepared because I have been trying to prepare myself to not being able to race any more. It’s just the same every year, the question of how to afford this?
 
So, time to try to start feeling like an athlete again.
 
Friday:
I should have eaten before I left for my run because I ended up feeling really hungry. I ran 12 miles and headed home. It was nice to run super easy and not think about time.  Eat breakfast, got some grocery shopping done and headed to work with the kinders.
 
I thought about going to yoga in the afternoon but I had a headache all afternoon that wouldn't go away so I skipped it. 

The child support clearing house is holding 3 checks and I haven't received child support since January. This is the second time someone at Maricopa County told me they would send an email to try to get one of checks released immediately. Fingers crossed. This person also explained that it isn't a 10 day hold but a 12 day hold on my checks from now on beaus they hold the check for 10 business days and then they release the hold and it takes 2 days to process and deposit into my account. So now my checks will come around the 20th of the month instead of the 6th. 
 
Saturday:
Norm left at 3:45am to go work at the Mesquite Canyon. I woke to say good-bye and went back to sleep. I was up around 5:45am and alternated between wanting to get up and wanting to go back to sleep. I ended up getting up, but taking my time to get out the door. 
 
I ran 10 miles and had another stomach issue on the canal. I have to figure out what is causing this before my race next weekend. Stomach issues during a marathon have been a problem for me in the past so I am not thrilled that I am having trouble on easy training runs. 
 
I came home and did dishes before going to yoga. I gave the dogs a bath and after clean house.  You know it's taper time if I am cleaning house. If I am not out running for hours I can't deal with this house. House cleaning is always at the very bottom of my list and no one else seems interested in doing something about it so it can get a bit yucky around here. 
 
I spent some time working on getting my next class at the community college set up and doing laundry while listening to podcasts. 
 
Norm and I talk about my race strategy for Tobacco Road. The goal is just to run a sub 3 marathon. I tell Norm that the problem is that I struggle with going with what feels comfortable and going for it. Norm asks me how I end up feeling when I go for it. “I feel great when it works out!” I tell him.  He just laughs at me. 
 
In the evening I was surprised to get a really nice text message from someone offering to loan me the money for airfare to my race. Such a kind gesture, I was really touched.
 
Sunday:
I don't normally run speed work on a Sunday but I wanted to add another workout to the schedule before the race next weekend. My plan was to run 6 miles at 6:50 pace. A nice “easy fast” pace to just keep my legs use to running fast. I have talked about this before but I have learned over time that a big taper does not work for me. If I take my mileage down too much and if I take out the speed for too long I end up feeling like a slug on race day. In the end my run turned out to be a progression run. I wasn’t trying but I kept getting faster with no change in perceived effort. I guess that is good news.
 
I came home to eat and head off to yoga.
 
I have been thinking about this dog Bisbee at the shelter in Sedona and was planning to go get him this afternoon, but talked myself out of it on my run. But talked myself into it during yoga. I get home and Brandi and I discuss it while I eat lunch. We decided to go check him out and take Pasta to meet him. 
 
He is a beautiful dog! But he does not like other dogs and needs to be an only dog. We did get to meet him and he is a sweetie. Please go get him!  Pasta was very nervous at the shelter. Poor girl. This is the shelter where I got here so maybe she was having some bad memories. But the staff were so happy to see here and see how happy she is. They loved hearing the stories of our adventures and how much we love her. I mean, she is my soul mate.
 
We got some food for Brandi and coffee for both of us and headed back to Phoenix. I was really happy that the traffic wasn’t bad. That drive home on the 17 can be brutal.
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This is one of the most beautiful dogs I have ever seen! He was so sweet and just wanted to give me kisses and cuddle. If you are looking for a big dog, go get this guy!
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Race day weather watch has started.
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