Monday:
Forced rest day. It wasn’t too hard in the morning. I went to bed at 6:30pm for a final time on Sunday night and slept until 6am. I am a terrible sleeper and suffer with insomnia so this is a miracle for me. I had to spend the morning getting ready to teach the 2nd graders because I got nothing done on Sunday. I write all my own curriculum so this means there is a lot to be sent to the office to be printed for each week. I also needed to go grocery shopping. Costco was surprisingly empty. Good thing because I was already feeling exhausted. I had no energy to deal patiently with Costco shoppers. We had to put off the actual grocery store until the afternoon because I just didn’t have it in me. This is the downside to an overnight race, the getting back on a normal schedule.
It really was my plan to go to a yoga class or even just stretch at home, but after grocery shopping and making dinner, I just wanted to sit in bed. I finished up the blog and went to sleep. Although I am feeling a bit tired, my body is feeling good. Knee feels fine, muscles aren’t sore. I really happy with the way I am recovering from these races.
I have been overwhelmed by all of the kind words from everyone after the race. I hope that I am always a good representative of the sport and of Aravaipa Running. I know that I take this very seriously, but really it’s just running.
Tuesday:
Easy 6 mile run this morning with Norm. I felt good. Slow, but good. My knee started to feel a little cranky close to home, but nothing terrible. The weather was ridiculously beautiful. Cloudy and cool. It had rained over night so they trails weren’t so dusty. It was one of the mornings were you want to run for hours but no time for that. It’s my last day to be at the community college at 8am. It’s finals week. This also meant no time to stretch. But after this, 2 full weeks of only teaching at one place!
Hayley came over and we did an easy 4 mile run together before meeting Jubilee for drinks and Mexican food. So much fun! I rarely get a girls night. The 3 of us are so busy it can be hard to find a time that works for everyone. We planned some adventures, talked running and running events and plans for the summer for all of us.
Wednesday:
Ran 10 miles with Norm. The weather is so beautiful and I know it won't last so I am trying to enjoy it! I am also trying to run different routes. We tend to run the same things over and over. I know the mileage, I know the climbing and it becomes the easy thing to do.
Mid morning I came home from the orthodontist with my youngest and my dog Bear threw up a ton. Poor dog. Bear is my sweet boy that I adopted at the end of February. He was 16 year old owner surrender to the shelter. He is just the biggest lovey! He loves to go for walks and loves the trails. He stays right next to me all the time. He even sleeps right next to me at night. My friend says it’s because he knows I saved him. I just thought he had a stomach bug and asked Ava and Sinjin to keep an eye on him while I was at work.
I came home and it was clear Bear did not feel good. He was lethargic and panting. He had wanted to be outside all day so Ava and Sinjin had sat with outside. Poor Bear, he just never looked better. He did get up once to get some water, but basically he just lay on his dog bed looking miserable. I should have known when he didn't come lay next to me when I went to bed that something was really wrong.
Forced rest day. It wasn’t too hard in the morning. I went to bed at 6:30pm for a final time on Sunday night and slept until 6am. I am a terrible sleeper and suffer with insomnia so this is a miracle for me. I had to spend the morning getting ready to teach the 2nd graders because I got nothing done on Sunday. I write all my own curriculum so this means there is a lot to be sent to the office to be printed for each week. I also needed to go grocery shopping. Costco was surprisingly empty. Good thing because I was already feeling exhausted. I had no energy to deal patiently with Costco shoppers. We had to put off the actual grocery store until the afternoon because I just didn’t have it in me. This is the downside to an overnight race, the getting back on a normal schedule.
It really was my plan to go to a yoga class or even just stretch at home, but after grocery shopping and making dinner, I just wanted to sit in bed. I finished up the blog and went to sleep. Although I am feeling a bit tired, my body is feeling good. Knee feels fine, muscles aren’t sore. I really happy with the way I am recovering from these races.
I have been overwhelmed by all of the kind words from everyone after the race. I hope that I am always a good representative of the sport and of Aravaipa Running. I know that I take this very seriously, but really it’s just running.
Tuesday:
Easy 6 mile run this morning with Norm. I felt good. Slow, but good. My knee started to feel a little cranky close to home, but nothing terrible. The weather was ridiculously beautiful. Cloudy and cool. It had rained over night so they trails weren’t so dusty. It was one of the mornings were you want to run for hours but no time for that. It’s my last day to be at the community college at 8am. It’s finals week. This also meant no time to stretch. But after this, 2 full weeks of only teaching at one place!
Hayley came over and we did an easy 4 mile run together before meeting Jubilee for drinks and Mexican food. So much fun! I rarely get a girls night. The 3 of us are so busy it can be hard to find a time that works for everyone. We planned some adventures, talked running and running events and plans for the summer for all of us.
Wednesday:
Ran 10 miles with Norm. The weather is so beautiful and I know it won't last so I am trying to enjoy it! I am also trying to run different routes. We tend to run the same things over and over. I know the mileage, I know the climbing and it becomes the easy thing to do.
Mid morning I came home from the orthodontist with my youngest and my dog Bear threw up a ton. Poor dog. Bear is my sweet boy that I adopted at the end of February. He was 16 year old owner surrender to the shelter. He is just the biggest lovey! He loves to go for walks and loves the trails. He stays right next to me all the time. He even sleeps right next to me at night. My friend says it’s because he knows I saved him. I just thought he had a stomach bug and asked Ava and Sinjin to keep an eye on him while I was at work.
I came home and it was clear Bear did not feel good. He was lethargic and panting. He had wanted to be outside all day so Ava and Sinjin had sat with outside. Poor Bear, he just never looked better. He did get up once to get some water, but basically he just lay on his dog bed looking miserable. I should have known when he didn't come lay next to me when I went to bed that something was really wrong.
The day we brought Bear home
Even though he was 16 he would act like a puppy and roll on his back for belly rubs
My poor lovey not feeling so well
Thursday:
I got up for my run a 5am. Bear always sleeps next to me, but he had slept in the den. I went to check on him and I knew it was bad. He didn't move at all. His breathing look labored. I had Sinjin bring me a bowl and a bottle of water. Bear picked his head up to drink as I poured in small amounts of the bottle. He drink the whole bottle of water. I petted him while drinking my coffee and Norm and I decided he really needed the vet.
Bear couldn't get up so Norm, Brandi and I carried him to the car. At the vet they brought out a gurney for Bear. When the vet called us back he gave me two options. They could run diagnostics and find out exactly what the problem was, but what they were seeing was an elevated heart rate, like out of control. Also his belly was full of fluid and sensitive to touch. The best guess was a mass in his heart. The doctor could not guarantee that they could get his heart rate under control or that Bear would even leave the hospital, but it didn’t seem likely that he had much time left. The other option was to put Bear down. The vet left so Norm and I could talk. What the hell? How am I suppose to make this decision? I asked the vet to come back in basically so I could say, how do I know I am making the right choice? I ethically find this difficult to end the life of living creature. Especially with no definitive answer. The vet said to me, “If this was my dog, I know what I would do without a doubt and I would not want my dog to suffer. With a heart rate like this, whatever we find it is not good news.” Basically Bear’s days were numbered and did I want those days to be spent suffering while we try to figure out why he was suffering? Norm and I talked some more and then called the vet in to say we would have Bear put to sleep, but could we wait for the kids to come so they could say goodbye. Of course, they told us to take as much time as we needed. I called Brandi and told her what was happening and Enzo brought everyone to the hospital. In the mean time they put Bear on a blanket in a nice room and we sat on the floor petting him. The kids arrived and spent some time petting him and talking to him. I signed all the paper work and paid for the cremation. I decided I couldn’t be in the room when they gave Bear the euthanasia medicine. I would later regret this, but still know I would have been a disaster to see him die. Brandi sat with Bear and let him lay his head in her lap. Norm and Enzo also stayed with him. Although the vet was so kind and they gave us plenty of time, never rushed us, it was so hard to make all of these decisions in the moment.
We came home and I had enough time to change, eat breakfast and give a final to my community college students before going to the elementary school. So, if you read this to follow my running, no running in the morning or the evening. I graded papers, eat some dinner and went to sleep. Can you be too sad to run?
Friday:
I just didn't sleep well. The guilt over leaving Bear alone all night is so heavy. Then there is the guilt over deciding t have him put to sleep. F***, how was I suppose to know what to do. As a Buddhist, I don't even kill bugs. We pick everything up and put it back outside. Saying yes, we should end is life is hard to deal with for me. I keep doubting my decision. And I miss him so much. I miss seeing him next to my bed. It’s stupid to say because he didn’t make any noise, but it feels quiet in this house.
We got up to run but I was just not feeling it. I know running is good for stress relief, but sometimes it is too much time alone with my head, This was why I struggled to run when I was going though my divorce. Sometimes you don't want to hear the tape or deal with the thoughts.
I did get 12 miles done, but it wasn’t my best running. I totally skipped my second run to drink wine.
Saturday:
Norm and I headed out for my long run. The plan was that he would do the first loop with me and then I would drop him at home and go out for the second loop. But a few mile from home I knew I wasn’t going out on a second loop. I just did not care. Maybe I will run this afternoon I said. I went home ate, stretched, did some laundry, ran a few errands and then took an hour-long nap. What was I tired from?
In the afternoon we went over to iRun so I could look at packs. I currently own 3 packs. Two by UltrAspire and one by Salomon. The UltrAspire packs are fine for long runs or hikes when you need a lot of stuff, but they are heavy. The Salomon race pack is light but rubs my necks. I need to take it to my tailor to see if we can fix it, but it won't work for my 100 mile race because there is no place to store stuff. It’s made for fast racing. I tried a couple packs but settled on the Nathan VaporHowe. It is the worst color ever! Like seriously vomit inducing. I know I am not the only person to say this, but I do not want to wear pink and various shades of pink just because I am girl. I would rather buy a pack that was black but made for a women’s body.
I got up for my run a 5am. Bear always sleeps next to me, but he had slept in the den. I went to check on him and I knew it was bad. He didn't move at all. His breathing look labored. I had Sinjin bring me a bowl and a bottle of water. Bear picked his head up to drink as I poured in small amounts of the bottle. He drink the whole bottle of water. I petted him while drinking my coffee and Norm and I decided he really needed the vet.
Bear couldn't get up so Norm, Brandi and I carried him to the car. At the vet they brought out a gurney for Bear. When the vet called us back he gave me two options. They could run diagnostics and find out exactly what the problem was, but what they were seeing was an elevated heart rate, like out of control. Also his belly was full of fluid and sensitive to touch. The best guess was a mass in his heart. The doctor could not guarantee that they could get his heart rate under control or that Bear would even leave the hospital, but it didn’t seem likely that he had much time left. The other option was to put Bear down. The vet left so Norm and I could talk. What the hell? How am I suppose to make this decision? I asked the vet to come back in basically so I could say, how do I know I am making the right choice? I ethically find this difficult to end the life of living creature. Especially with no definitive answer. The vet said to me, “If this was my dog, I know what I would do without a doubt and I would not want my dog to suffer. With a heart rate like this, whatever we find it is not good news.” Basically Bear’s days were numbered and did I want those days to be spent suffering while we try to figure out why he was suffering? Norm and I talked some more and then called the vet in to say we would have Bear put to sleep, but could we wait for the kids to come so they could say goodbye. Of course, they told us to take as much time as we needed. I called Brandi and told her what was happening and Enzo brought everyone to the hospital. In the mean time they put Bear on a blanket in a nice room and we sat on the floor petting him. The kids arrived and spent some time petting him and talking to him. I signed all the paper work and paid for the cremation. I decided I couldn’t be in the room when they gave Bear the euthanasia medicine. I would later regret this, but still know I would have been a disaster to see him die. Brandi sat with Bear and let him lay his head in her lap. Norm and Enzo also stayed with him. Although the vet was so kind and they gave us plenty of time, never rushed us, it was so hard to make all of these decisions in the moment.
We came home and I had enough time to change, eat breakfast and give a final to my community college students before going to the elementary school. So, if you read this to follow my running, no running in the morning or the evening. I graded papers, eat some dinner and went to sleep. Can you be too sad to run?
Friday:
I just didn't sleep well. The guilt over leaving Bear alone all night is so heavy. Then there is the guilt over deciding t have him put to sleep. F***, how was I suppose to know what to do. As a Buddhist, I don't even kill bugs. We pick everything up and put it back outside. Saying yes, we should end is life is hard to deal with for me. I keep doubting my decision. And I miss him so much. I miss seeing him next to my bed. It’s stupid to say because he didn’t make any noise, but it feels quiet in this house.
We got up to run but I was just not feeling it. I know running is good for stress relief, but sometimes it is too much time alone with my head, This was why I struggled to run when I was going though my divorce. Sometimes you don't want to hear the tape or deal with the thoughts.
I did get 12 miles done, but it wasn’t my best running. I totally skipped my second run to drink wine.
Saturday:
Norm and I headed out for my long run. The plan was that he would do the first loop with me and then I would drop him at home and go out for the second loop. But a few mile from home I knew I wasn’t going out on a second loop. I just did not care. Maybe I will run this afternoon I said. I went home ate, stretched, did some laundry, ran a few errands and then took an hour-long nap. What was I tired from?
In the afternoon we went over to iRun so I could look at packs. I currently own 3 packs. Two by UltrAspire and one by Salomon. The UltrAspire packs are fine for long runs or hikes when you need a lot of stuff, but they are heavy. The Salomon race pack is light but rubs my necks. I need to take it to my tailor to see if we can fix it, but it won't work for my 100 mile race because there is no place to store stuff. It’s made for fast racing. I tried a couple packs but settled on the Nathan VaporHowe. It is the worst color ever! Like seriously vomit inducing. I know I am not the only person to say this, but I do not want to wear pink and various shades of pink just because I am girl. I would rather buy a pack that was black but made for a women’s body.
Norm tries yin yoga
The new vest
Sunday:
For some reason Norm and Ava have this plan to make me pancakes. But I had planned to go up north and do a long run today. I thought this was the great part of teenagers that sleep late. When they were young I use to get up super early and hurry home to get back in bed so I could have breakfast in bed. Norm and I headed up north to run, but I was stressed about being gone too long. I took Norm on a run that is on the opposite of side of Ord. It’s FR 201. I love running here, but it feels so isolated that I don't like to do it alone. I showed Norm the turn to run 201A. It wasn’t marked the last time I was here, but now there is a sign saying it’s a 5.1 mile loop. Norm reluctantly agreed to run it with me when I promised we could hike all the climbs. It’s basically all climb. It starts by going down and we ran next to a dry creek bed until we can to a split in the road. We went left and were rewarded with a cute creek and mining ruins. It was just a lovely little area. But it went no where and we had to head right to continue up the road. Up and up we go. I can’t believe any one would drive a vehicle on parts of this. It was marked for experience drivers only with 4WD and a lockers, but still. Every time you would think you were done climbing, you were wrong. But the views were amazing and it felt so isolated from the world. We even ran into anther forest road, but will have to save that for another day. The road continues until you meet up with 201 again. From here it was a right hand turn to run back to the car.
I am running along and I hear Norm say something, but not sure what. What I ask? Snake he says in a very quite, calm voice. I scream, stop running and yell “where?” because I don't see a snake anywhere. We already passed it he says. Seriously! We turn back to take a look at it. I tell Norm “red touches yellow, you're a dead fellow.” He had no idea what I was talking about. Oh Norm.
As for the new pack, I loved it! Nothing rubbed me. The bottles were easy to drink out of. The pack didn’t feel like it was moving around when I was running. I highly recommend the Nathan VaporHowe, despite the vomit worthy color.
For some reason Norm and Ava have this plan to make me pancakes. But I had planned to go up north and do a long run today. I thought this was the great part of teenagers that sleep late. When they were young I use to get up super early and hurry home to get back in bed so I could have breakfast in bed. Norm and I headed up north to run, but I was stressed about being gone too long. I took Norm on a run that is on the opposite of side of Ord. It’s FR 201. I love running here, but it feels so isolated that I don't like to do it alone. I showed Norm the turn to run 201A. It wasn’t marked the last time I was here, but now there is a sign saying it’s a 5.1 mile loop. Norm reluctantly agreed to run it with me when I promised we could hike all the climbs. It’s basically all climb. It starts by going down and we ran next to a dry creek bed until we can to a split in the road. We went left and were rewarded with a cute creek and mining ruins. It was just a lovely little area. But it went no where and we had to head right to continue up the road. Up and up we go. I can’t believe any one would drive a vehicle on parts of this. It was marked for experience drivers only with 4WD and a lockers, but still. Every time you would think you were done climbing, you were wrong. But the views were amazing and it felt so isolated from the world. We even ran into anther forest road, but will have to save that for another day. The road continues until you meet up with 201 again. From here it was a right hand turn to run back to the car.
I am running along and I hear Norm say something, but not sure what. What I ask? Snake he says in a very quite, calm voice. I scream, stop running and yell “where?” because I don't see a snake anywhere. We already passed it he says. Seriously! We turn back to take a look at it. I tell Norm “red touches yellow, you're a dead fellow.” He had no idea what I was talking about. Oh Norm.
As for the new pack, I loved it! Nothing rubbed me. The bottles were easy to drink out of. The pack didn’t feel like it was moving around when I was running. I highly recommend the Nathan VaporHowe, despite the vomit worthy color.
The view from the start of our run
The aftermath!
We came home and Ava was asleep because she had been up all night. I asked what Norm wanted to do for lunch and he started making pancakes. What is with the pancakes? It’s 1:30pm for one thing and for another, I don’t even like pancakes! But I ate the pancakes. We went to Sephora so I could pick up a few things. By the time we got home I was hungry again. What are we doing for dinner I ask? I kept telling them I wanted to go out for dinner, but most people wanted to stay home and order pizza. So I try to start ordering pizza, but everyone has left to go to their room and I am trying to get people to come tell me what they want. It was annoying. But Ava and Norm started talking about how they just didn't way to go out and I lost it. I closed the computer and said, “I started the order, you can finish it! I am going out to eat.” I grabbed my purse and sweater, slammed the door and walked to the Mexican restaurant down the street. Norm did come to restaurant eventually. Just leave I said, because I don't want to cry. But he stayed. I think he felt bad, but as I explained to him, he shouldn’t feel bad. I’m not his mom. I don’t need a parade. I don't even need gifts, I just buy whatever I want. But it would be nice if people could just get dressed and let me take them to dinner! I love my kids, they are good kids, but this was not their finest moment. I had 2 glasses of wine and went to sleep at 7pm. Even more amazing, slept until 5am. I was pretty happy to see this week come to an end.
I was totally off on mileage and climbing, but I can’t dwell on that. I just have to move on to the next training week.
I was totally off on mileage and climbing, but I can’t dwell on that. I just have to move on to the next training week.
Mexican food alone in the bar on Mother's Day. As depressing as it sounds.
Bear's paw prints came in the mail. Kind of creepy, but kind of comforting.
