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Kristina PHAM
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The Mental Game

5/8/2017

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uMonday:
Getting out the door was a total mental problem. This week should have been my back down week, but because I dropped out of the race on Saturday and didn’t run much on Sunday last week became my drop down week. I may have got the physical benefits of a back down week because I ran less with less climbing, but I didn’t get the mental benefits. I had so been looking forward to knowing this was my back down week that it was hard to go back into heavy training this week. Combine that with the disaster that was the night run and running today was mentally terribly hard. I ran into Paul Bonnet at the park (we often see him here with his dog). We chatted about my headlamp issues and I was so caught up in my own crap that I forget to ask him about Zane Grey. I felt so guilty when I remembered that he had run and I didn’t ask about it. After the park I made a turn into one of the hardest climbs I know. It’s steep and rocky and usually I only run down this trail.  I picked it on purpose so I would have an excuse to walk. I basically spent 2 miles hiking, even when I really could have run. I just didn't want to. I wasn’t sure I would be able to make myself get 8 miles done. Just when I was starting to feel better a bug flew into the corner of my eye. Before I could get it out the bug stung me right under my eye. It hurt so bad! I didn’t feel big enough to be a bee (which is good because I am allergic to bee’s). Luckily a lady came up behind me pretty quickly. I asked her if my eye was swelling. If my eye was swelling it would be better to drop down to the road while I was close to it. No swelling she said, just some redness. So I continued home and luckily there was never any swelling. I got a slow 8 miles done, got weights and core done and was so happy to not have an afternoon run waiting for me.
 
Tuesday:
We asked Sinjin to take our dog Daisy  to his room because she wakes us up multiple times a night just to go outside and check things out. Very annoying! I guess because Norm got a decent sleep because he got up to run with me. 6 easy and slow miles done.  Nothing too exciting. The exciting news was that I rented a condo in Telluride. None of us were very excited about going back to Telluride. The kids and I had even told Norm he could go back by himself for Hardrock. But, I did some looking around for a condo and I found one that wasn’t too terrible. It’s more than I normally spend for lodging during the summer, but worth it. Now everyone is excited about going back to Telluride. When we started these summer trips, we camped as much as possible. The problem with camping is that I don’t feel comfortable leaving the kids at camp while I run and Norm doesn’t want me to go run in the mountains by myself. In the end what happens is I get no training done. Last year I decided less camping, but we still camped in Telluride. If you can get a spot at Town Park you can camp, but still feel like the kids are safe in town. The problem is it’s first come, first serve and it can take days. It was beautiful camping on Last Dollar Road last year and it was super cool seeing the shepherd and his sheep, but I don't need to do it again. This year we will be in Telluride and not be stinky or dirty.  We will not get rained on in the middle of cooking dinner. We will not be eaten alive by mosquitos! The bad news is the cheap place in Park City got rented before I got around to renting it. Instead we will be staying in Murray, UT for a few days. Not the elevation I was hoping for, but we can travel to Park City.
 
Wednesday:
I had decided against running Hotfoot Hamster.  Norm and I were talking about it this morning. He thinks I should still run the race. That it’s good practice for running while I am tired in the middle of the night. I decided he was right. Which was good news for Norm because it meant we didn't need to run as many miles today after all.  
 
Thursday:
I slept like shit. I am so stressed about this PhD situation. And I guess I forgot to set my alarm because I woke up 5:30am and looked at my phone, no alarm set. I have to teach at the community college at 8am so no time for a run now. I told myself I would do it n the afternoon, but I knew that was a lie. It was suppose to be over 100 degrees.  
 
 
Friday:
While drinking our coffee Norm and I were calculating pace for my twelve-hour race. What if I run this pace? What if I run that pace? My goal is to run 60 miles.
 
Then we left for our run and something was wrong with my right leg right away. We made it about half a mile before I had to stop. From my ankle up to my knee was red hot throbbing pain. I tried stretching and moving it around, but that didn't seem to be doing anything. We ran about a mile more and it was still hurting but now moving up my whole leg. From ankle to hip my leg was killing me.
 
We were suppose to run a 6 mile easy run, but at 2 miles I decided to turn and head back home. I needed to get off my leg. We alternated walking and running back to the house. Norm tried to make me feel better by saying things like, some of the best races are run after a bad day or it’s just a fluke. After the disaster at the night run last weekend my running self-esteem was at an all time low. I was just starting to feel better. I was just allowing myself to feel like I could have a good run Saturday night. This turn of events sent me right back to why bother.
 
I know I haven't been stretching as much as I need to stretch. I spent some time stretching when we got back to the house, but I doubt one day of stretching is really going to make a difference. 

​Saturday:
Norm had to leave early to go to work for Aravaipa. It felt odd to sleep in and not run. It was the last day at the community college. I just had to give the final. I came home and graded finals. Then I took a small nap. I know the point was to race tired, but my allergies have left me feeling so tired.  After the nap I packed my bag for the race. I basically took one of everything I could think of to take with me.  I’m packing up and Norm asks if I am taking a headlamp. “No, it’s lit, it says you don't need a headlamp” I tell him. But this made me question myself. I had to look up the race information again. All good. Lit path. I was agonizing over which shorts to wear. My favorite Oiselle shorts started to bother me at Whiskey Basin. The elastic around the leg was irritating me. But the other shorts I really like rub my back raw during a long race. The Oiselle shorts I had just ordered literally arrived right as I was walking out the door. I tried them on, but it didn’t seem like a good plan to run 12 hours in new shorts.
 
We got to the race, chatted with some friends and set up my table. I put out my Squirrel’s Nut  Butter and scissors and k-tape. I brought the k-tape not for an injury but because I always have a problem with the ankle transponder. I have abnormally tiny ankles (and wrists). There is just no good way to put that thing on my ankle and not suffer. 

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My set up for the night. Squirrel's Nut Butter is a must have!
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We just started and I already look sad.
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Post race this is what my leg looked like. And this was after we moved the transponder.
​We line up and set off. Immediately things were not good. I had eaten an Amy’s frozen burrito last week before the race and it had worked well so I decided to do this again. Except this time my stomach started hurting almost immediately. I had bad gas. I was cramping and either burping or farting as soon as I started running. And they weren’t quiet farts. I apologize if you were one of the people that had to listen to me fart for hours.  Also, my shorts started bothering me immediately. They were rubbing in between my legs. I normally run my long runs in these shorts, there is no reason they should be bothering me a few miles in to a run. I stopped to apply more Squirrel’s Nut Butter.  Also, my leg was hurting in the same way that it was hurting on Friday. I just told myself to run slow an easy and wait for it to warm up. Norm was working at the race so after I started running he had to leave to run to get ice. When he came back an hour and a half later he asked how I was doing. Everything that could be wrong is wrong was my answer.  
 
I was running about 9 minute miles until about mile 26. Then two things happened. One, I started to feel excited about having a little over 20 miles to reach 50 miles. Two, I realized I could run 50 miles in 8 hours. I know that isn't super fast for such a flat course, but it made me feel good. If you have read my previous blogs you know that 50 miles has always been a disaster for me. I picked up the pace and focused on getting to 50 miles. As I moved closer to 50 miles I realized that I had a chance of finishing 50 miles in seven and a half hours. I came close and finished 50 miles in 7:33:40 (about – I might be off on the seconds). It was a bit anti climatic. I expected Norm to be so excited to see me and maybe we exchange hi fives or a hug, but he was completely zoned out. When I asked, “was that 50 miles?” It was some stranger that asked me. In Norm’s defense he had a log day and was exhausted, but it made me a little sad. I told Norm I was going to slow down and focus on getting to my goal of 60 miles and that he could go to sleep if he wanted. (He did.) I slowed down for a bit, but I really wanted to just get it done and ended up picking up the pace again until I got to 59 miles and knew I had the course record. My left knee was starting to bother me a bit so I walked a little and ran a little to get to 60 miles. At this point it was about 4:30am.  Two and a half hours left. I really thought about quitting. I had reached my goal. But I kept going. I had talked to Norm about trying to run 70 miles. It was my if things go really well goal. At this point I was walking. I had to stop and put my pants and jacket on to keep warm. There was actually a small amount of time where I thought I would have to quit because I was going to be too cold. Who knew I should bring my puff jacket to a race in Phoenix in May? The coffee and pancakes helped keep me going.  And by 4:45am the sky was starting to change. The best part of not observing time change is that by 5am it would be light. I love watching the sky change from dark to light so this made this 30 minute stretch easier for me. Once it was light out my motivation was renewed. Norm and a few other people encouraged me to try to make it to 70 miles, but I knew that with my knee pain there was no way. I was running about 12 to 13 minute miles and having to stop to stretch my IT Band every lap or two.
 
I finished with 69.28 miles. (I originally thought it was a little less.) I was first female and first overall. I am just really pleased with how things went. I never felt tired, except those two times I almost fell asleep in the porta potty. 
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The Jester finishing
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I am as exhausted as I look, but happier than I look.
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Gladys Rionda, me and Debbie Goodwin
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The Jester getting is 1st place 24 hour award
​Although I typically try to stick to a gluten free vegan diet, when I am racing I love grilled cheese or quesadilla. At this race I fueled eating a fourth of a grilled cheese and 2 paper cups of mountain dew every 6 miles. The only exception was the start of the race. Due to my stomach issues I avoided eating until about mile 10 and then I just took a few peanut m&m’s and some coke. I had started out carrying my water bottle and was just sipping as I went along, but this was becoming a problem. 1. I was peeing every mile or so and it was annoying. 2. Even the water was making my stomach hurt. I put my bottle down on my table and just picked it up every 4th lap or so. Sipped while making that lap and then put the bottle back on the table. It seemed to work and I never felt dehydrated.
 
This was race was amazing! First off the volunteers were incredible! They were beyond kind, helpful and supportive. If you were a volunteer at this race, I can’t think you enough for staying up all night to help us. Second, I really seriously doubted my ability to stay awake all night and keep racing. I knew this was all in my head. I know I can run for 12 hours, but can I run for 12 hours when the race is over night. For some perspective, I usually go to sleep around 8:30pm and my mom didn’t let me go to sleep overs when I was a kid because I am a wreck with no sleep. The other runners were so fantastic and encouraging. This race was not going well for me from the start, but everyone on the course was nice and encouraging that it kept me going. When I was feeling down those words of encouragement kept me going. I kept telling myself “these people want you to succeed.” It was so helpful. Thank you to all of you! It was so awesome to Ed Ettinghausen “The Jester” again. Just one of the nicest guys around! In every race we have run together he always says something encouraging as the two of you pass. To all my fellow runners, if ever in any way got in your way I apologize. I tried hard to guess what people were doing and not being obnoxious about reaching me goal.  The 24 hour races had what I call Zombie walk going on and it can be hard to predict what people are going to do. (I say that with love and respect.)
 
At the end of the race I broke down in tears. It may sound ridiculous, but I was overwhelmed that I accomplished my goal. I do a lot of races and a lot of races there are harder than running in circles on a flat loop, but over coming something that is mentally hard is a lot more rewarding than over coming something that is physically hard.
 
On Sunday I came home, eat and went to sleep. That was pretty much my whole day. Eat, sleep, repeat. I went to bed for good around 6:30pm and was surprised I slept until 6am.
 
Nardini Manor was really cool. This was an awesome place for a race. If you missed it this time, I hear there is another race in September. You should definitely be there. You will be serenaded by bullfrogs, which was a first for me at a race. It is such a small location that it really feels like just hanging our with a few friends.

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Jamil hard at work!
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Camping set up on the path
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Part of the running path
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The house at Nardini Manor
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The part of the path where we could hear the bullfrogs
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Cool award!
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     Race Schedule 2021

    Frisco Railroad Run 50 mile 
    April 24

    Silverton Alpine 50K
    July 10

    Run the Red Desert 50K
    September 25

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