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Kristina PHAM
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Ugh!

2/18/2019

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​Monday:
On Sunday night I went to bed at 6:30pm really sick. On Monday I woke up really sick. I barely have a voice, I have a cough and chest pain and the worst sore throat ever. 
 
I teach my class and teach two classes for my boss at the community college. This does not help my throat or my voice. In between classes I check on Maui and the kids tell me she isn’t eating or able to get up by herself. I tell them to make an appointment with the vet. They let me know the vet is coming at 3pm.
 
I stop to get a bite to eat before going to the kindergarten. I also get hot tea and it feels so good on my throat that I wish I could just have a steady stream of almost scolding water on my throat. I ate my sandwich and almost immediately have the worst stomach pains. I spend a lot of time sitting in a tiny chair in my classroom curled into a ball and trying not to cry because my stomach hurts so badly. 
 
My boss comes to relieve me early so that I go home for the vet visit. It’s not a surprise that they suggest the best thing is to put Maui down. I knew this. You could see she had lost the spark in her eye the last few days. 
 
Maui was a really good dog. She was always protective of the kids. She was always well behaved. She always happy and fun. She just always brought the kids joy and comfort. Enzo picked her out when he was 3 years old. For a big dog, she has had a nice long life. 
 
I went to bed early again.
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Maui is the one with the red leash. Otto Passed away last year (green leash) and the little white one is Snow and she is still bossing all the big dogs around.
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Our sweet girl Maui
Tuesday:
I was up a few times, but basically slept for 12 and a half hours. My throat isn't as sore, but I have no voice. Still have the snot and chest pain and cough. I also now have a headache. And my ankle is still swollen. 
 
I text Charlie about my ankle still being swollen.  He asks if it hurts to run. I have no idea. I am so sick I am barely walking, much less running.
 
Hayley texts me to ask how I am doing. I am okay about Maui. I am panicked about Saturday. Not to whine about money again, but I don’t get to race big races very often. This one happens to be in my backyard and an Aravaipa race. This makes it very affordable. It will also be my only chance to try to win a golden ticket to Western States.  The last two remaining races were lottery and are sold out. Right now it seems like the odds of being 100 percent at race day are not good. I am preparing myself for not running on Saturday. I am hoping for a miracle, but I need to be realistic. I haven’t had wine or gone to yoga since Saturday. This is how you know I am really freaking sick. 
 
Wednesday:
Going from running 10 or more miles a day along with yoga to doing nothing has left me feeling like a hippo.  
 
I didn't sleep great. I was up coughing off and on all night. Happily I had already planned to show a documentary to my Psych class so I didn't have to talk because I still have no voice. 
 
I came home to give running a try and see what happens with my lungs and my ankle. My lungs weren’t great, but it seems like I could run as long as I am not pushing the pace. Of course that isn't really great for racing. But I didn't get to find out how my lungs would hold up because my ankle started hurting about a half mile into the run. It was actually hurting pretty much right away, but not bad. The more intense pain developed about a half mile in.  I kept trying to decide if the pain was bad or if I was imaging it bad because I am stressed about my ankle hurting. It’s still swollen. I turn around and come back home. 
 
I feel like I could probably tape my ankle and take some ibuprofen and run at Black Canyon. But if I am still coughing and have no voice and my chest is hurting, it doesn't seem like a smart idea to race. 
 
Here it is the end of the day Wednesday and I am feeling tired. Still no voice. Still coughing with chest pain. And my ankle hurts just walking. Not bad pain, just feels sore. This morning I cried a little bit in the bathroom at work thinking about missing this race, but I am trying to make peace with the fact that I am not running Black Canyon. I keep thinking, “all this work down the drain.” And I have to remind myself that I wasn't training for just this one race, that I can still use this training for other races, but with no races really on the horizon I don't have anything to shift my focus to.
 
Thursday:
Nothing has changed. I am still coughing all the time and I have no voice. I am not sleeping well because I wake up coughing.
 
Friday:
I might be a smidge better, but not super noticeable. Every now and then I will go without coughing for a bit and think “can I run tomorrow?” But that’s a ridiculous idea. Even if I thought I felt a little better, I am not sure I have the right mindset since I have been trying to prepare myself all week for not running on Saturday. 
 
I don't have to work today. There was a training, but I had already taken the day off so I decide to use the day to rest and hopefully encourage my body to get better already.  
 
Today is a big day at our house because Norm has been sober for 12 years today. I can’t even say how proud I am of him. He’s such an amazing person and I am so lucky to have him as my husband and best friend. If he hadn't taken the steps to change his life before I met him, we never would have met. Like all relationships we have our ups and downs, but truly there isn’t a nicer guy. If you know Norm, you know this is true. Even when we aren’t getting along so well things the relationship is still pretty nice. We just separate a bit and do our thing and try to come to a resolution. It’s never a confrontational or angry situation, just matter of the fact, here where are now situation. Don't get me wrong, we have had a few good fights but I he’s so damn nice I usually feel like I kicked a puppy and apologize. We make him spaghetti and meatballs for dinner because it’s his favorite. 
 
 
Saturday:
Slept in nice and late. I had taken cold medicine on Friday night so I slept pretty well. I got up, listened to a podcast, did some dishes and decided to go for a run. 
 
I leave the house and about a tenth of a mile I get stopped at a light. A homeless guy (I’m assuming) asks me how far I am going to run. “Not too far,” I answer. He just walks on. Maybe he was going to join me, but was looking for a long run? 
 
I get going and I am feeling great. I am running a 8 min/mi pace and I am thinking I was dumb for not racing. And then a half mile in I get a terrible side cramp and have to slow to a 9min/mi pace.  It was like a reverse progression run, I just got slower and slower.  I felt like I was barely moving and my chest hurt a bit, my upper back hurt a bit and I felt like I wasn’t getting much air. I left my house thinking I would run 8 to 10 miles. Once I got going I wanted to turn around at 4 but convinced myself to try for 6 miles. I ran 6 miles, but it wasn’t pretty. I didn't cough much while I was running, but when I stopped there was a lot of coughing. My ankle started hurting a bit at mile 3, but it was never too bad. 
 
I came home and had some lunch and then decided to do weights. I might as well get a weight workout in before I do round 2 of the dishes.
 
I am feeling a bit better this afternoon. I spend that time looking at marathons. I am trying to find a race where I can run attempt a sub 3 marathon. I need a measure of where I am at right now. I see a few possibilities. I zero in on Tobacco Road marathon. I have a friend that lives in Cary, NC and I can fly on Frontier airlines for pretty cheap. I apply for elite entry and cross my fingers.
 
Sunday:
Enjoying another lazy day while I can. I am going back to yoga today and if the people in class are upset by my coughing well… too bad. Not working out is killing me!
 
I was up early enough to get a run in before yoga so I decided to head out. It was about 39 degrees and the canal was pretty much empty. It was just me a few of diehard old guys. I kept it nice and easy and was happy to see that I ran a little faster than yesterday. 
 
I went to yoga and at first it seemed like it was going to be a disaster. I could not stop coughing. And of course today class wasn’t very crowded and everyone was so quiet. But once class started I was coughing a lot less.  I apologized to the people on both sides of me after class and luckily they both were super nice and supportive. I mean, I don't think I am contagious at this point. 
 
I text Charlie and let him know that my ankle was better today. It hurt a little at the start of my run, but just for a short amount of time and then it was fine as long as I run on a path that isn't uneven. He tells me to run every other day. Normally I would find this upsetting but I am teaching all day next week because the Hebrew teacher is out. This means I will be running in the dark, which also means that I will be sticking to the roads. 
 
Monday:
I usually just write for one week, but I thought it might be nice to end on a positive note. I am so excited to report that I have elite entry to the Tobacco Road Marathon!  I am super excited about the race and also super nervous because it’s a month a way. It will be so fun to see Yael. And so scary to run a marathon again!  I let Charlie know that I am registered for this race and we need to get this ankle mended ASAP! 
 
Today is my day off from running so I will go to yoga at noon and come home for a weight workout.  I need to get a ton of work done because I spent all week listening to podcasts and watching Broadchurch. 
 

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